Clipped News

The Jews control at least one nation's government

Orgies by the wealthy elite as portrayed in 'Eyes Wide Shut'.

The P320 pistol has a design flaw allowing it to fire without pulling the trigger

Imane Khelif is intersex

Orgies by the fucked-up poors as portrayed in "Eyes Wide Shut XXX" (2013)

Dream faked the Manhunt videos

DHMO in the water supply

Osama bin Laden didn't act alone

The 1% promoted culture wars to distract from class war

That motherfucker WAS real (Tiffany Gomas was wrong the whole time)

Ticketmaster is in cahoots with organized scalpers

√-1 isn't real

Smartphones listen in on private conversations

US security services use the Google Play Store as an attack vector for android devices

Santa is rigged

The UK security services are complicit in the coverup of a significant underage sex scandal closely linked to the monarchy, taking place in the UK in the period 1975-2015

Lionel Messi never played for a Real football (soccer) team

Atrazine works as an endocrine-disrupting chemical (EDC), converting testosterone to estrogen in the bodies of frogs leading to homosexual proclivities.

ASI will converge on agreeing (90%+ credence) that the Self-Indication Assumption is true.

Smart devices are almost always listening to your private conversations

Joe/Hunter Biden took bribe to protect Burisma from investigation

Annie Altman's abuse claims

The NBA rigs the draft lottery

That stock trading AI supposedly built by @SteveSokolowski is actually part of an elaborate scam

Major deaths, terror, and tragedy events are routinely hoaxes per Miles Mathis.

The CCP has a plan to exterminate a large number of people they consider to not be ethnically Chinese

Trump committed sex offenses against minors on Epstein Island

Gamergate was right

Dead Internet theory

Groundhog Day is rigged

Some answers in this market are psyops to discredit all the others

The CCP is directly supporting drug cartel activity in the West

Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself

Tiffany Gomas is not the same person as the TMINR lady in the video. She is a PSYOP for Barstool.

John McAfee didn't kill himself

An adversary is intentionally causing hysteria over drone incidents to force the US/UK's hand into revealing their anti-drone tech

@strutheo is @notrickspringfield

There are devices which have been used to alter the electric network frequency of a country in the Middle East to leave more identifiable traces in recorded video and audio clips

The U.S. military is the number one customer of Glitterex (a glitter company) but doesn't want anyone to know because it hurts their masculine image.

Germany has a well-prepared plan (in 2024-) to start mass producing nuclear weapons in <6 months (in case things go bad geopolitically)

At least 3 of the members elected to the French lower house of Parliament in 2024 are Russian agents

The Obamas have a loveless marriage, kept together for optics only

Bielefeld does not exist, but another city with the same name in the same place does

This one makes me feel evil, so I ROT13'd it, use ROT13 to decode if you want to keep me company in Hell: Ybh Truevt'f ergverzrag jnf npghnyyl na ZYO-znaqngrq fhfcrafvba

Eliezer wrote The Erogamer

The US/UK/French security services are sinking Russian ships in response to attacks on undersea cables and other hybrid warfare activities (since 2022)

Deepwater Horizon explosion due to sabotage

China made covid 19 in a lab

Rory Stewart worked for MI6

At least one UN recognised country is secretly controlled by a cabal following a religion shared by <5% of the country's population

The US, UK and French security services have collectively assassinated at least 10 German citizens in Germany since 2022

Michael Jordan's first NBA retirement was actually a forced suspension.

Eating your veggies is bad for your health

Covid was a deliberate test of pandemic preparedness in view of bacteriological war between China and the US

FDR deliberately left Pearl Harbor vulnerable, in order to goad Americans into war

The article "Deliberate Errors" documenting winks connecting Apollo and Kubrick films is correct, because Kubrick played a role in filming some of the Apollo missions.

The Romance languages are not descended from Classical Latin

The Church and elites deliberately suppressed and distorted the more Gnostic message of Jesus Christ.

Shakespeare didn’t write his own plays

The American govt is actually a totalitarian dictatorship

Youssoufa Moukoko (soccer player) was born earlier than he claims (earlier than 2004)

The Clintons assasinated their rivals

China was not genociding Uyghurs

A pharma company has a much better treatment for cancer that they are keeping secret because it would compete with their existing products

Bitcoin was created by a US three letter agency

My dog went to live on farm that was full of other dogs that he could run with and play with and he was much happier than staying with us and peeing on the rug.

lɐǝɹ ʇ,usᴉ ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀

Many vaccines on the standard CDC childhood immunization schedule have serious negative side effects (net negative on health) for at least 5% of the population.

Aluminum cookware actually *does* cause Alzheimers.

Hellenistic scientists could derive the correct refraction law by minimizing light travel time

The CIA killed JFK

Marilyn Manson had a rib removed in the late 1990s

Lee Harvey Oswald didn't act alone.

Members of US government had prior knowledge of 9/11 and let it happen

ASI will converge on agreeing (90%+ credence) that Trump/Musk model the first/second beast of Revelation.

Non-human intelligence affecting events on Earth is not extraterrestrial "aliens," and humans are incorrect in believing that reality consists only of the Universe.

Hellenistic science developed statistical mechanics to the point of being able to derive PV=nRT

The Hellenistic civilization was aware of the existence of Azeroth

Sue Gray was a spy

Dominic Cummings was/is a Russian spy

We live in an ancestor simulation per Nick Bostrom.

A cure for cancer has already been found

covid-19 vaccine is net negative for health for people who are under 35, with no aggravating condition, and not obese

The 1% promoted class war to distract from culture wars

As of June 2025, JD Vance is secretly making plans to use future ASI to sieze power and become eternal world dictator

The 9/11 terror attack date is meaningfully connected to Ernest Martin's theory that Jesus was born on September 11, 3 BC rather than a coincidence.

Ogopogo and the Yeti faked their relationship (to boost CFL ratings, to increase Taylor Swift's movie sales, support Trudeau's reelection, b/c Ogopogo is PSY, etc.)

The Hawk Tuah meme is a North Korean psyop

The hellenistic civilization was aware of the existence of the American continent

The pharma industry has a better version of Viagra that they keep secret to keep their profits up

Finno-Korean Hyperwar was real

Bush did 9/11

"Geoterrorism" (weather modification for terrorism) is real as of 2024

Israel killed JFK

The New Zealand government had advance knowledge of the sinking of the Rainbow Warrior

Hellenistic science advanced meta-thermodynamics to derive 𝑄 = 𝑛𝐶Δ𝑇(1 + 𝐻⊙⋆) using the Holtzman Generator

US security services asked Microsoft to buy Skype and alter the software so they could target users more easily

Elon Musk used Starlink to rig the 2024 election

Circa 1920 civilizational collapse (c.f. "Whither Tartaria?")

Covid 19 was made in a labradoodle

Trump and Netanyahu had Charlie Kirk killed to take control of TPUSA

Biden and/or US govt did Jan 6 (exclude trump)

The NBA rigged Shaq's free throws

Jet fuel *can* melt steel beams, but the official 9/11 narrative is sus because chemtrail chemicals cannot

The NFL is rigged

South Korea has had nuclear weapons since 2023

Harold Holt murdered

COVID-19 vaccine is net negative for health

Skin cancer is caused by a lack of melanin, regardless of sunlight exposure

Hellenistic scientists could derive the correct warp-induced refraction law by exceeding Warp Factor 9 under Cochrane’s Theorem

Ogopogo is real

QAnon

Princess Diana was assassinated

A support network of close friendships is bad for your health

Trump devolved the government in anticipation of 2020 election fraud and replaced Biden with an actor wearing a mask.

Shakespeare is not real - they claim he was married to Anne Hathaway but she's like only 40 or so

Human didnt evolve from apes

Exercise is bad for your health

Bitcoin was created by a 3 letter Hellenistic agency

Airplane trails have toxic chemicals (chemtrails)

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce faked their relationship (to boost NFL ratings, to increase Tay's movie sales, legitimize mRNA vaccines, b/c she is a PSYOP, etc.)

carbon dioxide isn't the main cause of global warming

Allen Iverson invented A.I.

The government iodizes the water and fluoridates salt when it should be the other way around

QR codes are satanic

Mossad releases video and audio clips, intended to be of interest to their adversaries, which play special sounds that humans don't notice

Mossad uses Hellenistic technology borrowed from the North Sentinelese

Xi Jinping had advance knowledge of the Hawk Tuah meme

China purposely spread covid 19 having intended it to escape the lab

Charles Manson had a rib removed in the late 1990s

Getting 8 hours of sleep is bad for your health

Tom Brady's retirement was actually an NFL mandated suspension

Hitler killed himself because the alternative was going to Argentina

Jerry Sandusky is innocent.

Skin cancer is caused by sunblock, not sunlight

Hellenistic science knew of quantum mechanics

Lee Harvey Oswald was an agent of the Hellenistic Civilization

South Sudan has had nukes since 2023

Famous Israeli agent Eisseberg was behind the sinking of the Titanic

xkcd 690: on 9/11, one of the towers was hit by a plane and the other was a controlled demolition

@HenriThunberg was paid to create the James Bond market to promote the upcoming movie

Marilyn Monroe had a rib removed in the late 1990s

Rationalussy isn't real.

Chinese people really *are* just saying the n-word.

Tupac is still alive in 2024

Bielefeld does not exist

The 2020 US presidential election was rigged/stolen

Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen, and they made the movie Frozen so that when people googled 'Walt Disney Frozen' the movie would come up first

The Mandella Effect in general is real

The Hellenistic Civilization made COVID-19 in a lab

The North Sentinelese have a non-secret aircraft carrier, they have announced it to the world loud and clear. Problem is: nobody speaks their language.

US government is harboring aliens

Monica Lewinsky was a Mossad agent

Birds aren't real

climate change isn't human caused

Effective Altruism is a scam and they just embezzle all the donations

Jeffrey Epstein is still alive

Tiger Woods is a militant separatist Tamil

The North Sentinelese have a secret aircraft carrier

Hurricane Katrina caused by HAARP

Climate change isn’t real

The moon landing was fake

The CIA killed Tupac, and JFK is still alive as of 2024

You personally live in Truman Show style captivity

The Romance languages are not descended from Latin

The 9/11 terror attack was a justified false flag to secure a weapon of mass destruction (destabalizing religious text and/or supertechnology) at the tomb of Gilgamesh.

The illuminati runs the world

*All* health care is net negative for health

Michelle Obama is a man

Brazilian money is not real

The Hellenistic civilization invented USB

The North Sentinelese are remnants of the Hellenistic civilization

Yeti is real or similar creature

Hitler didn't kill himself he went to Argentina

The earth is a dodecahedron

Skibidi Toilet is real

Q is Putin

It used to be spelled Berenstein Bears

Africa isn't real

Christiano Ronaldo never played for a Real football (soccer) team

There is no female orgasm

The North Sentinelese are concealing super-advanced technology.

The earth is flat

*All* vaccines are net negative for health

End of the world in 2012

Earth is hollow

Justin Trudeau is actually Black and has been wearing "whiteface" all along.

Finland isn't real

Australia isn't real.

5G will kill all vaccinated people once the towers are switched on

Nuclear weapons have never existed

Flossing is bad for your health

Brushing your teeth is bad for your health

HIV doesn’t cause AIDS

Taylor Swift and Mary Berg are the same person

The Epcot sphere was built by aliens as some sort of energy device powering the rat empire.

Bond will be a man

Gunplay

Bond drives a car

On screen fatalities

London will appear on screen

Urban scene

Bond wears a suit/tuxedo

Car chase scene

Bond tells ≥1 joke

A vessel is shown on screen containing any of the following: ketchup, mustard, wasabi, soy sauce, hot sauce, beer, wine, whiskey, cologne, or sulfuric acid.

A named character speaks in a language other than English

Bond introduces himself as "Bond, James Bond"

Bond drinks a martini

Female and/or BIPOC director and/or producer

Opening action sequence

The Tower of London, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, Wembley, or Heathrow appears on screen.

Gun Barrel Sequence

Bond will attend a gala, soirée, ball, banquet, masquerade, black-tie event, cocktail party, fundraiser, awards ceremony, premiere, reception, or a charity auction.

Sex scene

World capital other than London appears on screen

Hacking electronics of some form

Q appears

Runtime of at least 2 hours/120 minutes.

Bond solves ≥ 1 problem non-violently

Bond uses explosives

The plot will be predominantly set in present day

Bond disarms someone with a melee weapon using martial arts

The main theme song will be sung by a female

The film features a scene at a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Fatal-if-missed aerial jump

A Bird (Avian) Will Appear Onscreen for >2 Seconds

Bond will shoot an inanimate object on purpose.

Asia will appear on screen

Someone goes through a pane of glass

A named character is a double (or triple, etc.) agent

It will feature ≥1 actor that was part of No Time to Die

It will gross more worldwide than No Time to Die ($774M)

The villain will use or work in the field of artificial intelligence.

"King" or "Queen" of England mentioned

Bond is on vacation (is shown somewhere for enjoyment, without purpose for his mission)

Someone in the movie says the title

@HenriThunberg enjoys the film

The villain is played by an actor who had a lead or recurring role on a prestigious television series that aired on either AMC or HBO.

South America, Africa, or Australia will appear on screen

The words "James Bond will return" appear on screen during or after the credits.

Bond rides a motorcycle

A single large explosion occurs on screen at the same time as Bond, and he doesn't look at it

>=85 on Tomatometer 1 month after US release

Critics will say it's a return to classic bond

A sniper rifle is fired

At least a portion filmed in Canada

Blue-eyed Bond

There will be a scene with wagering, gambling or betting

Bond wields a Walther PPK

Interracial sex scene

Pegasus, Phoenix, Griffin, Unicorn, Kraken, Minotaur, Medusa, Cyclops, Sphinx, Kitsune, Chimera, or Thunderbird (any visual representation)

Jungle / forest scene

M will be played by Ralph Fiennes

Bond flys an aircraft

James Bond disobeys orders from MI6 or the British government

Bond attends a soccer match, cricket game, rugby match, boxing/MMA fight, tennis match, e-sport event, the Olympics, a carnival or fair, the opera, or a horse race.

Casino game scene

>= 7.0 IMDB rating 1 year after release

Bond parachutes

It passes the Bechdel test (two named women talk the each other about anything besides a man)

Bond wears shorts

Bond pays for something by leaving money on a table and walking off without the recipient of the money present

>=7.5 on IMDB 1 month after US release

Arctic scene

Someone uses a euphemism to order a killing

Bond gets slapped

Prison/jail scene

A jet ski or snowmobile gets airborne

Black market trafficking

Someone climbs around on the outside of a building

Released in 2028

Skydiving

The main character will order a “Vodka Martini, shaken, not stirred” using that exact phrase.

Bond licks something

Bond and a pond shown on screen together

Main villain has a visible physical defect (scar, handicap, missing limb, ...)

someone combs or brushes their hair (or the hair of another person)

Bond in bondage (not necessarily sexual)

Bond slaps someone

A scene shows James Bond naked

Actor who plays Bond at least 6' (183 cm) tall

Death of a Bond love interest

James Bond talks to a woman while playing a card game.

A Gulf kingdom will appear on screen (e.g. Dubai)

Bond puts something phallic-shaped in his mouth

Bond is violent toward a woman (e.g. painful pulling, slap, throat grip...)

There will be a voiced character that is an AI

Bond rides a bicycle

Torture

Bond receives a gunshot wound

A visible countdown clock, which if it reaches zero something bad happens

Wilhelm scream

The title will refer to life and/or death

@brunoparga correctly guesses a pun beforehand

Bond plays craps, roulette, or blackjack

Bond drives a boat

A safe is cracked (any means possible)

Someone is shot with a tranquilizer dart or other nonlethal incapacitating projectile (getting wounded with a potentially lethal weapon doesn't count)

James Bond plays poker

Bond commits arson

Cryptocurrency is referenced

Oral sex

Bond smokes a cigarette/cigar

Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, or Zendaya appear on screen

Martini and a bikini shown on screen at the same time

Terrorists

US premier date is moved forward at least once (has to be numbered date, "summer 2026" doesn't count)

Someone carries a gun disassembled in a nondescript case

Someone speaks a verbal password phrase to verify their identity, gain access to a location, etc.

Actor who plays Bond is a US citizen

A pandemic or biological warfare will be a central plot

Desert scene

Nazis (neo- counts)

The ending pitches a next movie (continued story, introduction of villain, venegance, ...)

Ski chase scene

Drug use

Someone/something is x-rayed

Thunderstorm

Dessert scene

An actor who previous played a Bond villain appears (as either a new or recurring character)

President of the United States is mentioned

IF the main villain has a pet that plays a significant role in the plot, this pet is a horse...

Robots

Bond throws food, darts, or a Molotov cocktail

It refers to the transition between two British monarchs (Elizabeth, Charles and/or others)

Bond has facial hair

Bond will have a hot, young, American sidekick

Theme song will be performed by a band (more than one artist. Duran Duran did it, so there is precedent.)

There will be a promotional event in Fortnite

Bond wears a mask

Sharks

Cocaine or caviar appears on screen

James Bond plays baccarat

Scene with Bond wearing a hat and sunglasses

Bond complains about the quality of an alcoholic beverage

Bond plays golf, tennis, or croquet

Bond will be in a submarine

Bond goes to space

Bond is LQBTQ+

Bond rides an animal

James games (Bond plays any video game, table top board game, or role-playing game) *chess counts, casino games don't

Rolex, Aston Martin, Bollinger Champaign product placements (all three)

Main villain speaks Russian on screen

Bond has a disability

Bond claims to have retired / quit from the world of espionage

Mexico is shown on screen

Moscow, Kyiv, or Paris shown on screen

Jetpack

The movie will be set during the Cold War (1947-1991)

A previous Bond actor appears (as either a new or recurring character)

Trans character - explicity stated they are trans, no ambiguity (must be on screen for min. 7 seconds and say at least 3 words)

An EMP device plays a central role.

Climate change/global warming is explicitly mentioned

At least one named character below 18 years old

Canada is shown on screen

Orgy

Will feature something that can turn invisible

Someone asks for payment in "small, unmarked bills" or "negotiable bearer bonds" (wording need not be exact)

Underwater combat

The word "fuck" is said more than once.

With all this speculation about which kinds of sex acts will be shown, I'm surprised nobody has said it yet, so I'll say it: 𝕓𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕘𝕖

Bond beds a "lady of the night" (ie. He fucks a prostitute)

The main villain has a pet that plays a significant role in the plot.

Bond is blond

Features a shot with someone lowering a newspaper, magazine or book, revealing they had been surreptitiously spying on someone

Someone sees something incredible, and implicitly ascribes it to alcohol (traditionally, by looking at the bottle)

A pinball machine will appear.

Pirates

Theme song is performed by Taylor Swift

Assplay

Bond plays Russian roulette

Emilia Clarke portrays a character

Bond won't be Caucasian

A hamburger appears on screen

Bond uses a VR headset

Bond has a neck tattoo

Nuclear explosion

Someone uses the word "clip" to refer to a magazine

Satanism

Aaron Taylor-Johnson plays Bond

Revealed that "James Bond" has always been a code name.

fight featuring at least one of: viper, mongoose, someone with one of those as their code name

It will be described as featuring AI, such as claims that is uses “AI actors”, as reported by entertainment media.

Gay sex scene

ChatGPT is referenced by any character

Party and play (PnP), also known as chemsex, scene

Bond has a mustache (no other facial hair)

A character has the codename "Fat Rascal"

Theme song is performed by The Weeknd

San Francisco is shown on screen

Pegging

Another character coincidentally has the first name "James" or surname "Bond" (or both)

Horse cock on screen (flaccid)

Bond consumes more than 1.5 loads of jizz

A clocks shows the time 4:20

Feature Nightcore music

Supernatural entities

Prediction markets, origami, or the word "manifold" appear in the movie.

There will be a character codenamed "Fat Rascal" and they will be played by an American

Bond uses chopsticks

Released in 2026

Desert dessert scene (e.g. eating an ice cream in the Sahara)

Any character says the word "anime"

Vampires

Bond vapes

The main character will order a “café mocha, double double” using that exact phrase.

Bond dies

The fourth wall is broken

Scat play

Bond does depraved sexual acts for money (e.g., bukakke, public gang bangs, period play, etc.)

Contains a joke or indirect reference to the "last night I Bond Burgered your sister" meme

Horse cock on screen (erect)

Bond will say the line about snakes on a plane, but only as a metaphor (with snakes representing penises and the plane being his ass).

The handkerchief code is a major plot element

James Bond will say, "I'm rational, rationalussy."

Bond is vegan

It will be directed by a woman

Bond plays League of Legends

Destiny appears on screen

Bond says, “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”

Dragons

Dinosaurs

It will be directed by Christopher Nolan

YES

SZA

Taylor Swift

FKA Twigs

The Black Keys

clipping

Playboi Carti

Chappell Roan

Coolio

Bizarrap

Kanye West

Ice Spice

Green Day

Beyonce

Eunuchs

J. Cole

Billie Eilish

NxWorries (aka Anderson .Paak & Knowledge)

Tinashe

Lil Dicky

Victoria Monet

Jack Black

Scowl

Datura Lacroye

Brakence

MIKE

Vampire Weekend

Maya Hawke

Childish Gambino

Kanye West (for real)

Linkin Park

Muse

Mount Eerie

Radiohead

Pearl Jam

Dua Lipa

Poppy

Jeff Mangum

Charli XCX

Justice

YES

NO

YES

NO

Glass of Thrones letdown (polished)

Watching Harry Potter 1 on airplane and rewinding and quoting over and over the meme wizard chess section

Quick dialog sketch: "Oh my gosh a black cat, we're going to have so much bad luck now" "Wait you don't really believe in that kind of stuff do you?" "See look we're already fighting :("

Friend who took a long time in the bathroom

Coaching my girlfriend to queue up match highlights from another room to avoid spoilers

Spies when they accidentally bite the poison pill hidden in their tooth

Sketchy human ATM

Depression after a team I never heard of loses

Before Sunrise POV in record shop

Whatever the next clip of me doing standup is

Nervously removing a bunch of 'remove before flight' aviation tags from the counter of a helicopter tour company

Glass of Thrones letdown

Remembering that PBR was a thing

Gross side of owls delivering mail in the great hall

A compilation of OpenAI employees interrupting ChatGPT (and potentially gradually fading to a scene from terminator)

Demo of the new ChatGPT but it's way too flirty

Candy addiction hotline

Having a bone to pick with soccer players doing a “bow and arrow” celebration but letting go of the bow

Friend who thinks they're safety officer

Brainstorming how to become viral

Slytherin doing the math

Cheap Airbnb tour

American Express review

Future Me

How it feels logging in with authenticator (shot in the style of dramatically diffusing a bomb)

NFC Translation

Satire of sales ads

Saying "Damn" in front of a dam.

Every time I try to order a beer

Dreamy nonsensical philosophy shot

NO

NO

YES