Eagle News

Cape Buffalo - Syncerus caffer caffer

Wolverine - Gulo gulo 🥉🥉

Yellow-Lipped Sea Krait - Laticauda colubrina 🥉

Sonoran Desert Sidewinder - Crotalus cerastes cercobombus

Coyote - Canis latrans

[⚔️Underdog] Sulfur Cave Molly - Poecilia sulphuraria 🥉🥉

Common Bed Bug - Cimex lectularius

Brown Rat - Rattus norvegicus 🥉

House Mouse - Mus musculus domesticus

[⚔️Frontrunner] Sea Otter - Enhydra lutris

❌Defeated: Lion - Panthera leo 🥈🥉🥉[beat by Dolphin]

❌Defeated: Bornean orangutan - Pongo pygmaeus [beat by Giant Nematode]

❌Defeated: Hippopotamus - Hippopotamus amphibius 🥈🥈🥈 [beat by Brown Rat]

❌Defeated: Dog - Canis familiaris 🥉🥈 [beat by Leopard seal]

❌Defeated: Cat - Felis catus 🥉🥉🥉 [beat by Meerkat]

❌Defeated: Tiger - Panthera tigris 🥈🥈 [beat by Sulfur Cave Molly]

❌Defeated: Dolphin - Tursiops truncatus 🥉 [beat by Leopard Seal]

❌Defeated: Elephant - Loxodonta africana 🥈🥈[beat by Giant Nematode]

❌Defeated: Giant Panda - Ailuropoda melanoleuca [beat by Polar Bear]

❌Defeated: Penguin - Aptenodytes forsteri 🥉 [beat by Wolverine]

❌Defeated: Axolotl - Ambystoma mexicanum [beat by Great black-backed gull]

❌Defeated: Orca - Orcinus orca [beat by Housefly]

❌Defeated: Honey Badger - Mellivora capensis 🥈 [beat by Meerkat]

❌Defeated: Hotwheels sisyphus spider - Hotwheels sisyphus [beat by Saltwater Crocodile]

❌Defeated: Polar Bear - Ursus maritimus 🥈 [beat byt Cat]

❌Defeated: Saltwater Crocodile - Crocodylus porosus 🥈🥈🥈🥈 [beat by Red Fox]

🚫Ineligible: Water bear - Milnesium tardigradum

❌Defeated: Ping-Pong Tree Sponge - Chondrocladia concrescens 🥉 [beat by Prehistoric Elephant]

🚫Ineligible: human [I'm shortening this]

🚫Ineligible: Tardigrade (LFG)

❌Defeated: Great White Shark - Carcharodon carcharias [beat by Lion]

🚫Ineligible: [This animal was edited in bad faith]

❌Defeated: Blue Whale - Balaenoptera musculus [beat by Housefly]

❌Defeated: Wolf - Canis lupus [beat by Prehistoric Elephant]

❌Defeated: Red Fox - Vulpes vulpes 🥉🥈 [beat by Giant Pacific Octopus]

❌Defeated: Cliff Swallow - Petrochelidon pyrrhonota [beat by Elephant]

❌Defeated: Platypus - Ornithorhynchus anatinus 🥉🥉 [beat by Western Lowland Gorilla]

❌Defeated: Haast's Eagle - Hieraaetus moorei [beat by Prehistoric Elephant]

❌Defeated: Giant Nematode - Placentonema gigantissima 🥉🥉 [beat by Wolverine]

❌Defeated: Flightless Elephant Bird - Aepyornis maximus [beat by Saltwater Crocodile]

❌Defeated: Prehistoric Elephant - Palaeoloxodon namadicus [beat by Dog]🥉🥉🥈

❌Defeated: Pompeii Worm - Alvinella pompejana [beat by Cat]

❌Defeated: Sperm Whale - Physeter macrocephalus [beat by Ice Worm]

❌Defeated: Great evening bat - Ia io [beat by Lion]

❌Defeated: Funny valentine spider - Funny valentine [beat by Dermophis donaldtrumpi Caecilian]

❌Defeated: Yi qi dinosaur - Yi qi [beat by Elephant]

❌Defeated: Aha ha wasp - Aha ha [beat by Hippopotamus]

❌Defeated: Penis snake - Atretochoana eiselti [beat by Cat]

❌Defeated: Colossal Whale - Perucetus colossus [beat by Meerkat]

❌Defeated: Cuban Cockroach - Panchlora nivea [beat by Hippopotamus]

❌Defeated: Panther Chameleon - Furcifer pardalis [beat by Saltwater Crocodile]

❌Defeated: Giant Dragonfly - Meganeuropsis permiana [beat by Red Fox]

❌Defeated: Giant Pacific Octopus - Enteroctopus dofleini 🥉[beat by Ice Worm]

❌Defeated: Triceratops - Triceratops horridus [beat by Red Volcano Sponge]

❌Defeated: Giant Pterosaur - Quetzalcoatlus northropi [beat by Ping-Pong Tree Sponge]

❌Defeated: Lesser Flamingo - Phoeniconaias minor [beat by Honey Badger]

❌Defeated: Kiwi - Apteryx australis [beat by Dog]

❌Defeated: Red Volcano Sponge - Acarnus Erithacus 🥉[beat by Platypus]

❌Defeated: Ice Worm - Mesenchytraeus solifugus 🥉🥉[beat by Tiger]

❌Defeated: Meerkat - Suricata suricatta 🥉🥉🥉 [beat by Yellow-Lipped Sea Krait]

❌Defeated: Housefly - Musca domestica 🥉🥉🥉 [beat by Tiger]

❌Defeated: Feral pigeon - Columba livia urbana [beat by Housefly]

❌Defeated: Great black-backed gull - Larus marinus 🥉 [beat by Western lowland gorilla]

❌Defeated: Leopard seal - Hydrurga leptonyx 🥉🥈 [beat by Sulfur Cave Molly]

❌Defeated: Western lowland gorilla - Gorilla gorilla gorilla 🥈🥈🥈 [beat by Penguin]

❌Defeated: Eastern lowland gorilla - Gorilla beringei graueri [beat by Lion]

❌Defeated: Dermophis donaldtrumpi Caecilian - Dermophis donaldtrumpi 🥈[beat by Brownthroated three-toed sloth]

❌Defeated: New World Screwworm - Cochliomyia hominivorax [beat by Hippopotamus]

❌Defeated: Brownthroated three-toed sloth - Bradypus variegatus 🥉 [beat by Western lowland gorilla]

❌Defeated: Chinese giant salamander - Andrias davidianus [beat by Saltwater Crocodile]

🚫Ineligible: [edited in bad faith]

❌Defeated: Australopithecus - Australopithecus afarensis [beat by Platypus]

RFK Jr. gets cabinet position or position in any public health department

Flag desecration prohibition passed

Any vaccines banned for any group of people

J6er pardoned

Sports team invited to the white house

A member of Congress is censured or expelled

The democrats take control of the house of representatives

Significant Rogue AI Incident

Blue wave in 2026 midterm elections

Democrats win Iowa governorship

Republicans lose the house majority in midterms

James Talarico wins Texas senate election

Rob Sand wins 2026 Iowa governor election

Katie Hobbs win 2026 Arizona governor election

@DudleyDOODOO creates over 80 options for this market

Prohibiting or restricting transgender care for adults

Democrats win the early voting race game and win the midterms

Democracy survives

Generative AI becomes permanent part our daily lives permanently

Mass Deportations

Trump is impeached

A major insider trading scandal linked to the US executive branch

Democrats win back the white house in 2028

Giorgia Meloni wins reelection prime minister

Left-wing CPAC alternative launches

RFK Jr impeached

Suffer a fall in public

Nicolas Maduro prosecuted and imprisoned for life

Chuck Grassley dies

Peter Hotez goes to prison

Convergence Magazine (Organizing Upgrade) shut down and cease to exist

@dudleyDOODO creates over 50 options that are either illogical, incomprehensible or too vague to resolve

Another project 2025 launched by Heritage Foundation for GOP 2029 presidency

All pseudo-legal sovereign citizen international tribunals causes all prediction markets as concept to defunct and cease to exist

Drone strike in Mexico by US

Nuclear weapon detonation

AGI achieved

US punitive expedition in Mexico

Starlink satellites damaged by US adversary

A second pope is elected

Republicans win the white house in 2028

Deep funding cuts to NIH, NSF, FDA, CDC, HHS, EPA fully implemented and becomes law

Democrats win trifecta in 2026 midterms

100k humanoid robots manufactured

All pseudo-legal sovereign citizen international tribunals causes all AI technologies and generative ai to defunct and cease to exist

Reiner Fuellmich released from prison

350 million people or more die, according to expert estimates

Another covid-like pandemic

NIH, CDC, FDA, HHS, NSF abolished permanently

Bell tower added at the US Capitol

Pauline Hanson becomes Australia prime minister

Reiner Fuellmich's Nuremberg 2.0 occurs and becomes reality

Science and public health infrastructures dies

All COVID-19 vaccines pulled off market entirely

Abolish vaccine funding entirely permanently

Zach Lahn wins Iowa 2026 governor election

Alice Weidel becomes German chancellor

Climate change infrastructures abolished permanently

MAGA and Trump challenge 2026 midterm GOP losses

A human walks on the Moon

Joe Exotic is released from prison

Nuremberg 2.0 over pandemics becomes reality and occurs

Patriots for Europe controls European parliament and wins majority

It ends with JD Vance becoming president

Antifa dissolves

Post-WW2 international orders die and abolished

AfD controls chancellorship and AfD becomes chancellor

Mark Carney wins 2029 Canada election

Vaccine research and projects permanently abolished

NASA abolished

US captures Daniel Ortega and all other leftist leaders worldwide

Europe of Sovereign Nations controls European parliament and wins majority

Measles vaccines abolished and pulled off market

Adam Schiff goes to prison

Chris Whitty goes to prison

European countries all under far-right regime control

Steve Bannon runs for 2028 president

Probabilistic forecasting dies, extinct, defunct, and cease to exist

Fauci and other scientist experts go to prison

Actblue shut down and cease to exist

All prediction markets defunct and cease to exist permanently

World war 3 and global war launch

Metaculus shut down and cease to exist

Room temperature superconductor discovered

Elon Musk is arrested for treason

China invades Taiwan

US military intervention on Canadian territory

Apple, Google, Microsoft, OpenAI, Perplexity defunct and cease to exist

Latin American countries all under far-right regime control

Ilhan Omar deported

Soros family goes to prison

Tulsi Gabbard is arrested for treason

Coup attempt in the United States

All in person comic con events get cancelled throughout 2020s

Republicans leads in early and mail in voting in midterms

Roberto Vannacci becomes Italy prime minister

Hillary Clinton goes to prison

All international NGOs defunct and cease to exist

Lula's 2026 Brazil election victory overturned and tilted to Bolsonaro

Any part of Greenland becomes de facto US territory (excludes military bases)

Republicans win control of the house

All type of vaccines abolished and pulled off market

Fauci goes to prison

Manifold market shut down and cease to exist

US withdraws from United Nations

Viktor Orban returns as prime minister

GOP, Trump, and MAGA controls all election infrastructures away from state governments

Russia invades all European countries

Barack Obama goes to prison

Nigel Farage becomes UK prime minister

Abolish global health funding and infrastructures

Abolish global vaccine funding and vaccine infrastructures permanently

Mass imprisonment of scientists, public health officials, pandemic officials and others worldwide

Far-right seizes all American universities nationwide

Global far-right alliances abolishes and defuncts generative AI and all AI technology

Global far-right alliances abolishes and defuncts all prediction markets

Anti-AI movement abolishes and defuncts all AI technologies and infrastructures

The Senate eliminates the filibuster

Largest solar flare since Carrington Event

Democracy dies

All left-wing pro democracy and pro science organizations shut down

World Health Organization dissolved and abolished

Far-right seizes all American institutions

All US citizens arrested, detained, and targeted by ICE

Nuclear war

Reform UK wins UK 2029 election

World becomes global far-right regime

Russia invades all NATO countries

Bill Gates goes to prison

All media under right-wing control

North Korea bombs and invades South Korea

Elon Musk buys the 2026 midterm elections

US captures Lula and removes him from office

Supreme Court packing

22nd amendment repealed or interpreted to only apply to consecutive terms

Donald Trump reelected President

United States and the world becomes totalitarian dictatorship

All federal and state judges impeached

All Democrats imprisoned

Iran, Russia, North Korea, and China bombs US mainland

Rupert Lowe becomes UK prime minister

Human extinction

US buys Greenland and becomes 52nd state

Democrats permanently locked out of power

Democrats lose the house in 2026 midterm election

All scientists, doctors, pandemic experts, and all other public health officials go to prison

Eagles three-peat

2026 midterm election gets stolen by Trump and GOP and tilted in ruling party's favor

Abolish elections permanently

Russia invades all continents and controls the world globally

All Trump opponents go to prison

Canada becomes 51st state

Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran invades US mainland

Republicans win the early voting race game and win the midterms

Republicans surprisingly win the house in 2026 midterms

Abortion permanently banned nationwide and worldwide

End Russo-Ukranian war in 90 days

Jaguars beat Ravens (11/05) 8:15 PM (Prime Video)

Lions beat Dolphins (11/08) 1:00 PM (CBS)

Texans beat Chargers (11/08) 4:05 PM (CBS)

Cowboys beat Colts (11/08) 1:00 PM (FOX)

Rams beat Commanders (11/08) 1:00 PM (FOX)

Bengals beat Falcons (11/08) 9:30 AM (NFL Network)

Bills beat Vikings (11/09) 8:15 PM (ESPN)

Giants beat Eagles (11/08) 1:00 PM (FOX)

Broncos beat Panthers (11/08) 1:00 PM (CBS)

Browns beat Saints (11/08) 1:00 PM (CBS)

Packers beat Patriots (11/08) 4:25 PM (FOX)

Buccaneers beat Bears (11/08) 8:20 PM (NBC)

Raiders beat 49ers (11/08) 4:25 PM (FOX)

Cardinals beat Seahawks (11/08) 4:25 PM (FOX)

Keir Starmer

Andy Burnham

Nigel Farage

Robert Jenrick

Angela Rayner

Bridget Phillipson

Wes Streeting

Kemi Badenoch

Alistair Carns

John Healey

Jonathan Reynolds

Yvette Cooper

Johnny Mercer

Oliver Dowden

Mark Harper

Victoria Prentis

Tom Tugendhat

Rachel Reeves

Shabana Mahmood

Louise Haigh

Dan Jarvis

Suella Braverman

Mel Stride

David Lammy

Pat McFadden

Peter Kyle

Ian Murray

Lisa Nandy

Emily Thornberry

Priti Patel

James Cleverly

Liz Kendall

Steve Reed

Hilary Benn

Rebecca Long-Bailey

Jeremy Hunt

Ed Milliband

Jess Phillips

Ian Lavery

Daisy Cooper

Penny Mordaunt

Gillian Keegan

Jo Stevens

Clive Lewis

Barry Gardiner

Angela Eagle

David Miliband

Michael Gove

John McDonnell

Stephen Kinnock

Ed Davey

Jacob Rees-Mogg

Thangam Debbonaire

Diane Abbott

Kwasi Kwarteng

Jude Bellingham

JK Rowling

David Tennant

Dominic Cummings

William, Prince of Wales

Piers Morgan

New York Giants

Scores over 23.5 points in Week 1

Wins a preseason game

Saquon Barkley plays at least 12 games

Jalen Hurts scores more rushing TDs than Josh Allen

Jalen Hurts retires with more rushing yards than Josh Allen retires with

The team moves or is renamed before 2050

Drafts at least one QB in the NFL Draft

YES

Other

Heyoka

Golden Eagle

Golden Turkey

Crazy Eagle

Stumbling orange buffalo

Golden Walrus

Crazy Train - ALLLL ABBOOOOARRRDDDDD

Orange Eagle

Crazy Horse 2

YES

YES

YES

NO