The Not Coin News

Tom Brady is at the game

Teams are a rematch of a previous super bowl

Super Bowl is won by a bird team

First score is a field goal

Coin toss is 'heads'

Gatorade shower color is yellow/green

Onside kick attempt

Unauthorized person gets on the field of play

Team has 5+ sacks

Team scores in all 4 quarters (same team)

Team will be scoreless for a quarter

Team scores in last 30 seconds of either half

First play from scrimmage is a rush

Jersey number of last touchdown scorer is even

Winning margin is 10+ points

Both teams complete their first pass attempt

Illegal use of hands to the face penalty given

Pick 6 occurs

2 point conversion attempted

Player goes into the blue tent

Streaker (fully or partially nude on field)

At least one team has 0 points at halftime

Winning team has more total yards

Any player scores 7+ points individually

Player with prime jersey number scores a touchdown

All quarters have points scored (no 0-0 quarters)

Rules analyst disagrees with a decision a ref made

Holding call in 4th quarter

A player listed over 260 lbs scores a touchdown

Either quarterback has 2+ interceptions

No rushing touchdowns scored

Any player successfully hurdles a defender

[Total score] > [Longest field goal made]

Opening kickoff result is a touchback

Drake Maye sacked in 4th Quarter

Player knocks non-player over on the sideline

Kick is missed

Head coach throws a challenge flag

Team is a first time super bowl winner

Final score is scorigami

Current or former US President in attendance

Announcer says "tush push"

Score is tied at half-time

Taylor Swift is at the game

Game goes to OT

Failed 4th down attempt

Last play is 'victory formation'

Any player has a 60+ yard reception

Coin toss is 'tails'

A safety is scored

Kick is successfully blocked

Any QB throws for 400 or more yards in the game

National anthem is over 2 minutes

Special teams touchdown

Successful 2-point conversion

There is a doink

Stadium blackout occurs

Player gets carted off the field

First turnover is an interception

Player gets ejected from the game

Successful 'hail mary' pass is made

Player retires immediately after game

Player flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct

Backup QB gets put in the game

Points scored in the first 90 seconds

A player's jersey gets torn

Team wins by exactly one point

Player shown eating a snack on the sideline

Head coach or player throws something on sideline in frustration

Quarterback runs in for a touchdown

50+ yard field goal is made

A player catches the ball with one hand

An administrative timeout is taken

Player crying during national anthem

First score is a touchdown

Both teams make 33 yard or longer field goal

Team that scores last wins the game

Score is tied again after 0-0

QB catches a pass from any player

Any player scores 2+ touchdowns

Super Bowl MVP is a quarterback

First drive of game is a '3 and out'

Kicker is iced

Team scores in the last 30 seconds of the game

Final score is the same as the final score of a previous Super Bowl

[LX total score] > [LIX total score]

Puppy Bowl 2026 MVP shares a first or last name with the SB MVP

Altercation occurs between a player and a coach

Team leading at halftime loses

Broadcast uses video from pylon camera

No penalties in the 4th quarter

Play with one or more attempted laterals occurs

Winning team has more passing yards

Winning team has more turnovers

Player spikes ball during a touchdown celebration

Ruling on the field gets overturned by review

Trick play results in positive yardage

Both teams have a 4th quarter lead

Any player to score an octopus

Super Bowl MVP threw an interception or fumbled during the game

No penalty called in last 5 minutes of the game

Any current or former US president is directly referenced by announcer

Penalty for 'roughing the passer' is given

Chains used to measure first down 1+ times

WM Phoenix Open winning score under par is higher than Super Bowl kicking points

Tush Push touchdown is made

50+ yard return

Injury timeout is taken

Final combined total of QB pass completions is odd

Both teams score in 1st quarter

[1st half total score] > [2nd half total score]

Super Bowl MVP not from winning team

Announcer says "goat"

Live animal enters the field of play

Unauthorized person touches midfield logo

First touchdown celebration includes acrobatics

Announcer says "stud"

Wild Card team makes the Super Bowl

Super Bowl is canceled, postponed or rescheduled (from 2-8-2026)

Announcer says “hawk-eye”

YES

call someone retarded through text or speech

Take control of the army National Guard of a state (not just announcement)

A literal red line on the ground/floor

complete 50% of project 2025 as reported by project2025.observer

Initiates low intensity conflict with Venezuela

Weaponize Federal Procurement: Launch a DOJ criminal investigation into Fed Chair Powell’s $2.5B renovation probity, while simultaneously accepting $400M in private corporate donations for the White House 'State Ballroom'.

refuse to accept results of 2026 midterms in at least one state

repeal or reform the dietary guidelines

request and successfully redraw 1 or more state districts

Stays alive

explicitly conditions FEMA aid to a blue state on unrelated ideological issue

complete 66% of project 2025 as reported by project2025.observer

request and successfully redraw 2 or more state districts

intervenes to stop a federal criminal investigation into a high ranking republican

Pardons an officer for a crime committed on the job enforcing immigration laws

Military against drug cartells on venezuelas ground

Eliminate the two-person train crew safety regulations (DoT request from Project 2025)

new blockade of a country

request and successfully redraw 3 or more state districts

sends USA troops to enter Mexico without permission

put his name on a ship in the navy

have any governmental officials visit Taiwan formally or informally

order the arrest of a governor by name even if it does not happen

forcibly shuts down a windmill farm power plant or revokes permits etc

declare war and send troops to aggressively enter any new country

have a journalist arrested

Trump will pardon those involved before the sentencing - medical fraud schemes

Revoke ten or more citizenships

issue circulation coin or bill with his image or pass laws to do that in the near future

Causes Tina Peters' early release

have the DOJ "classify educators and public librarians" who discuss "transgender ideology" with minors as "sex offenders." as per project 2025

Call for the banning of HRT (hormone replacement therapy)

ten or more protestors killed during term

pass 500 or more executive orders

sells 100 square miles or more of federal property to private owners or other countries

Mandate teaching Arabic numerals in East (American) Samoan schools

closes 1 or more national parks (63 as of question creation)

get ukraine to agree to give up ALL of the donbas AND crimea to russia

File lawsuit against a congressperson

complete 75% of project 2025 as reported by project2025.observer

Uses the US military or National Guard to prevent at least one legal voter from casting a ballot during 2028 election

Nominate a family member to high office

Enforce the Comstock Act at least once

Dep

Appoint a crony, such as Bondi, or his personal lawyers, to SCOTUS

call for twitter / x to ban account of a democrat politician

Remove tax exempt status from one or more universities

Orders an agency under federal control to arrest a congressperson

Sunset the Office of Accountability and Whistleblower Protection (Veteran Affairs)

add a new federal holiday in his honor

Weaken regulations on baby formula as per project 2025

Bans / restricts guns for trans people (or tries to)

Raise the retirement age for social security

stops all sanctions on Russia

Raise contribution limits (FEC)

Lessen child labor regulations to allow "teenage workers" to work "inherently dangerous jobs". (DoL)

Order the arrest of a sitting member of congress

Actually privatizes at least part of the USPO

resume buying oil from Russia

revoke broadcasting licenses of a media company he does not like

force a former president to testify before Congress

Gets angry with Putin and renews (also indirect) nuclear threat.

Accept a gift of an airplane to *himself personally* (not a gift to the US government)

His name is on the ballot for the 2028 Republican primaries in any state/territory

Call for the death penalty of any former president by name

have FBI DOJ or other agency charge a congressperson with treason

Postpone the elections due to emergency

Closes or makes radical ideological changes to The National Museum of African American History and Culture

Enact price controls on groceries

Kidnap *another* head of state (after Maduro)

call someone a pedophile explicitely by name through text or speech

remove a major non NATO ally from the current list

Pardons a private citizen for an act in opposition to an anti-trump protest

repeal the Federal Sugar program (USDA) as suggested by project 2025

Add a citizenship question to the census

End congressional review of arms transfers to foreign countries (DoD)

host putin at mar a lago

Airstrikes or bombs Mexican territory (drone artillery etc count)

federalize a city or area currently under control of another state (not DC)

complete 90% of project 2025 as reported by project2025.observer

repeal the federal mandate to label genetically engineered food (as per project 2025)

Eliminate ACA's requirement to cover the morning after pill

Call for the default of the United States sovereign debt

Pardons someone acting as a private citizen for an act in support of immigration enforcement (not an on duty officer)

Prosecute someone for flag burning

classify "transgender ideology" as "domestic terrorism," as per The Daily Wire

department of defense renamed to Dept of war

Pardon himself

delete Juneteenth as a federal holiday

Deports at least one athlete during the 2026 FIFA World Cup

appoint a family member to lead any federal agency

declare he has officially undone a past presidential pardon

Impose time-limits on how long low-income people can receive Medicaid in their lifetime

force a census to happen when it normally wouldnt

Get rid of Noaa.

Have USA test a nuclear bomb anywhere

Says 6 7 (or variant)

enact special taxes or tariffs on a subset of states he does not like

Causes derek chauvin's early release

Deploy US troops into any of 83 Federal subjects of Russian Federation (or announce that)

Call for the end of the House of Reps

Deports at least one Olympic athlete during the 2028 Summer Olympics

Pass a federal "Parents' Bill of Rights" with regard to Education

take control of a part of greenland

Remove all federal funding for SNAP/food stamps

Gets influence on Gaza strip to make investment deals with real estate or buys land.

All 10 of the 10 largest protests in the USA happen under trump

Eliminate the DHS Office of Intelligence and Analysis

repeal Obamacare

pardon derek chauvin

admin stops reccomending fluorinated water entirely

Privatize the FEMA National Flood Insurance Program

federally mandate ten commandments or Bible in classrooms

debank a congressperson governor or mayor

expand the supreme Court and appoint someone new

Prohibit use of aborted fetal cells in research for new medical applications as per project 2025

Eliminate the U.S. Trade and Development Agency

Threatening to attack a US defence pact ally (e.g. NATO, Rio Pact etc.) with nuclear weapons

actually disinter bodies from another country

Call for the end of child marriage

Four or more protestors/bystanders killed by national guard/military in one day

Repeal of the Antiquities Act of 1906

Eliminate the Federal Reserve mission of full employment

Eliminate all administrative proceedings within the SEC

orders arrests of any Biden family member

Annex any part of Mexico

Pardon a convicted pedophile

cause Fox, nbc CNN MSNBC or another main news channel to shut down

announce that a part of Canada belongs to the USA

Remove all unions in the Dept. of Homeland Security

Prevent the VA from covering abortion services

Replace his Vice President

confiscate 1 million or more from the Democratic party itself

Eliminate the Office of Children’s Health Protection

Dissolve/shut down/abolish NASA

Calls himself a dictator or unambiguous synonym (without equivocating)

Salute Putin

Eliminate the Office of Enforcement and Compliance Assistance (EPA)

expand the borders of the usa

remove tax exempt from only certain religions

have a supreme court justice impeached and/or removed

threaten to disinter bodies from another country

Require all schools that receive federal funding to give students the military entrance test.

Mandate time-and-a-half compensation on a Sabbath (project 2025 request)

change it so that presidents can serve 3 or more terms again

fauci in jail at least one week

take control of a part of ukraine

confiscate 1 million or more from an individual Congress person

add a new state

pardon george santos

take state ownership in an airline

Attack a NATO ally.

Pardon p diddy

Repeal the Global Change Research Act of 1990

changes the logo or name of a previously offensive sport team (pressures until they actually do it)

ends black history month

Implement a federal age of consent

Eliminate the DOE Loan Program

Delist the grizzly bear AND gray wolf from the Endangered Species Act

Call for the assassination of the leader of an allied nation

Deports all the athletes of at least one nation during the 2026 FIFA World Cup

declares a white history month

Four or more protestors (or bystanders) killed by national guard

New restrictions on SSRIs (including a ban)

Sides with Putin because he has compromising information against Trump regarding the Epstein files.

Call for the end of gay marriage

Announce he’s running for a third term

Fully or partially privatize Social Security

ban trans people from holding federal offices

Implement a federal abortion ban

make statements that are negative about labubu

Call for the abolition of the voting rights act or the 15th amendment

breaks ground on a trump building in Gaza

fully nationalize an airline

Call for the end of the Senate

Wind down and privatize Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac

Does Nazi / Roman salute with same passion as Elon's gesture

stop California from hosting the Olympics

Deports all the athletes of at least one nation during the 2028 Summer Olympics

ban all new incoming students from china and/or india

Pardon ghislaine maxwell

change or add a face on Mount Rushmore

change the borders of a state

breaks ground on a trump building in Russia

Detonates a nuclear weapon as an act of war

repeal an amendment

Withdraw from NATO

give sell or otherwise transfer a part of Alaska to Russia

Abolish the Federal Reserve and move to a "free banking" system

enter a mutual defense partnership with russia or north korea

cancel the 2028 election / it doesnt happen for any reason

Call for the end of interracial marriage

After the ballroom he starts building a palace for the future Trump-Monarchy

bans anime

bans 6 7

all time high unemployment reached

Ban construction of new windmills in the USA for power generation

Wearing a white dress after labor day

US Dollar (USD)*

Chinese Renminbi (CNY)*

Euro (EUR)*

Unit of Computation (FLOP/IOP, etc.)

Energy-based Unit (Joule/Wh, etc.)

Bitcoin (BTC)*

Reputation-based Currency (e.g., Whuffie points)

Emission-Linked Financial Instrument (e.g., carbon coin)

Worldcoin (WLD)*

Gold (Au)

Ethereum (ETH)*

Utilitarian Value-based Currency (DALY, QALY, dead children, etc.)

Paperclips

Manifold Mana

President with Green Eyes elected

Crewed mission to Phobos

Room temperature superconductor discovered

USA adds 52nd state

24th Doctor Who regenerates into the 25th

UK has a queen again

Olympics hosted in Japan again

ChatGPT 10 releases

RSA-2048 cracked

Harlem Globetrotters lose again

2000 Pokemon Released or franchise ceases

Batman enters the public domain

The Beatles music enters the public domain

Hershey's reintroduces the Gold bar

Norway Bans Whaling

African company or country lands on moon

Tom Scott's This Video Has X Views hits 1B

human dies on the moon

Olympics hosted in Africa

Japan Bans Whaling

Tom Scott's This Video Has X Views hits 500M

Longest suspension bridge record broken

Pokemon Card sells for $10M

First hispanic USA president

End support date for Windows 12

Pickleball in the Olympics

Team Fortress 3 releases

Country claims the Bir Tawil triangle

Grand Theft Auto 7 releases

The next 9.0 magnitude earthquake

The first $10T market cap company

USA Adds 51st state

USA fully ends embargo on Cuba

Superman enters the public domain

Iceland Bans Whaling

Human walks on mars

The version after Windows 12 releases

Centennial Lightbulb burns out

Underwater hold breath world record broken

Bitcoin reaches $200K USD

China invades Taiwan or resolves conflict

Destiny retires from regular streaming

19th Doctor Who regenerates into 20th

Bugs Bunny enters public domain

Grimace Shake returns to McDonalds

Sitting USA president visits Belize for the first time

Peppa Pig ends

EU reaches 30 member states

First asian USA president (as judged by self ID & manifold opinion after inauguration)

1500 Pokemon Released

Windows 11 end support date

Taika Waititi's Star Wars film releases

India hosts the Olympics

Blood Meridian movie release

Star Citizen releases or company ceases

Family Guy ends

Civilization 8 releases

Kingdom Hearts 4 releases

First female USA president

Two grand slams in one MLB game by one player again

South Park ends

Manifold reaches 20K MAU

ChatGPT 7 releases

Simpsons ends

Xi no longer in power in China

Trump Dies

First Trillionaire (USD)

Human walks on moon again

Chicago ends on Broadway

1300 Pokemon Released

Uber OR Lyft bankrupt / acquired / ceases

Half Life 3 releases

Manifold reaches 40K MAU

USA's Doris Miller aircraft carrier launched

Another MLB perfect game pitched

James Cameron's Avatar 4 releases

Bitcoin reaches $150K USD

Book of Mormon ends on Broadway

One piece manga ends

Human runs official marathon under 2h

Skibidi Toilet ends

Another Five Nights at Freddy's movie comes out

a USA president impeached again

Putin no longer in power in Russia

Burj Khalifa record for tallest building broken

Russia / Ukraine conflict ceasefire

Shrek 5 releases

Sagrada Familia Church completed

Grand Theft Auto 6 releases

ChatGPT 6 releases

Twitter gets a new CEO after Linda Yaccarino (or ceases operations)

marijuana no longer federally a schedule 1 drug in the USA

Price of gold hits $5000/oz

The first $5T market cap company

USA discontinues or changes penny coin

Death Stranding 2 releases

First $100B revenue media franchise

New Pope after Francis

Civilization 7 releases

Bitcoin reaches $100K USD

Mario 64 120star speedrun WR 1h36m00s or less

Dallas Mavericks play in the NBA championship

$1 bill

$20 bill

$50 bill

$100 bill

$10 bill

$5 bill

$1 coin

$2 bill

25¢ coin

5¢ coin

10¢ coin

$2 coin

1¢ coin

50¢ coin

$5 coin

$500 bill

$200 bill

LINK - Chainlink

XLM - Stellar

Polkadot

TRX - Tron

Shiba Inu

Binance Coin

Dogecoin

Cardano

Solana

Tether USDt

USDC

Ethereum

Ripple

Bitcoin

Other

Ethereum

Solana

Cardano

Binance Coin

None of the options submitted before the One Piece is revealed

Binks' Sake

Other

A Poneglyph

A single piece of currency (e.g. one coin)

An ancient tool which might not technically be a weapon.

The friends they made along the way

A giant pile of gold and jewels

An ancient weapon

Pineapples

NO

Bill

Robinhood (HOOD)