The Woman in Me News

Ron Weasley is a redhead

Snape is black

Harry Potter is white

At least one named character from the book has their race changed

An actor who acted in the movies returns for the show

Harry, Ron, and Hermione’s actors will all be British

Harry Potter doesn't cast a single spoken, working spell in the first episode

Dumbledore casts a spell (spoken or wordlessly)

Fred and George are twins irl

Hagrid is played by an actor who is under 6'4"

McGonagall performs an animagus transformation (human2cat or cat2human)

A History of Magic lesson is shown on screen

A character cut from the movies appears (ie Theodore Nott)

Premieres in 2026

The potion riddle guarding the Stone will be featured

Quirrel is wearing a head covering when Harry first meets him

Hermione’s parent(s) shown on screen

Ron Weasley doesn't cast a single, spoken, working spell in the first two episodes

Malfoy has white blonde hair

Arthur Weasley is shown on screen

Cornelius Fudge is shown on screen

Peeves is a reoccurring character

JK Rowling is credited as both an executive producer and original writer

There’s a scene set before Harry is born

Hagrid says "You’re a wizard, Harry"

Harry first sees Hogwarts castle in episode 2

Arabella Figg is mentioned by first or last name

A slur is uttered by any character

A wand is visibly placed into, or drawn from, a character's pocket/robes more times than a wand is set down on a table or desk

It's woke

A scene depicts Voldemort trying to kill baby Harry

mandrake root on screen

It will be torrentfreak.com's "Most Pirated" TV show for its year of release or the following year

80% or higher on rotten tomatoes

An Astronomy lesson is shown on screen

Luna Lovegood, Cho Chang, or Cedric Diggory are mentioned by first or last name, or are in the credits

The total number of times the word 'Harry' is spoken across the season is strictly greater than 3.5 times the number of times the word 'Potter' is spoken

A house elf is shown on screen

Harry Potter is on-screen for at least 4 hours total

More Great Horned Owls appear than Barn Owls

A character who is named Dave or David appears in the show

At least one named character from the book has their gender swapped

Hagrid ties Vernon’s gun into a knot

The Quibbler is shown or mentioned

Homosexual interaction between some characters will be presented

The cumulative screen time of Neville Longbottom's toad, Trevor, is strictly greater than the cumulative screen time of Argus Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris

Season is nominated for Outstanding Drama Series at the Emmys

Goblins are still represented as anti-semitic caricatures

The Flying Ford Anglia is seen.

The Weasley's Ford Anglia is seen flying

Harry is shown holding more than three different wands at Ollivander’s

Harry first sees Hogwarts castle in episode 3

Harry visits Platform 9 3/4 in episode 1

An actor who appeared in any of the Jackass films receives a credit on IMDB related to the show

VOLDEMORT HAS A NOSE

Hagrid presents a cake with writing on it to Harry and the writing has no misspellings

Harry visits Diagon Alley in episode 1

"Voldemort" has a silent "t"

Dobby makes an appearance

90% or higher on rotten tomatoes

Premieres on strongly symbolic date (like July 31, 21.12)

The intro theme song will have at least one obvious English word

At least one of the actors is transgender

It ends on a cliff hanger

Harry only reaches Hogwarts in the last 10 minutes of the first episode

Harry Potter doesn't cast a single, spoken, working spell in the first three episode

Any Harry Potter fanfic is referenced (either explicitly as judged by market creator, or confirmed by someone who works on the show)

actor in the show wins an Emmy for acting

Hermione is white

Hermione is Indian

Features an explicitly transgender character

We see a wizarding school other than Hogwarts

JK Rowling makes a cameo appearance

Quirrel shakes Harry’s hand during their first meeting

Premieres in 2027

Awkwafina is cast in the show

Hermione is black

Smartphone shown within Hogwarts

Hagrid is played by an actor with a cognitive disability

There will be seven CGI dwarves

Rita Skeeter will have an explicit trans identity

Keir Starmer is in it

set in the 2020s

set in 2025

Adolf Hitler is mentioned

Harry, Ron, and Hermione will all be transgender

We get AGI before it premieres

Voldemort is a woman

Hagrid is black

Yudkowsky makes an appearance

Fred and George have the same actor

HPMOR is referenced

Gandalf is black

One or more of Hermione, Ron, and Harry have their genders swapped.

Zendaya is cast in the show

Gunplay

On screen fatalities

Bond will be a man

Bond drives a car

Urban scene

Bond wears a suit/tuxedo

London will appear on screen

World capital other than London appears on screen

Car chase scene

Bond tells ≥1 joke

Bond introduces himself as "Bond, James Bond"

A vessel is shown on screen containing any of the following: ketchup, mustard, wasabi, soy sauce, hot sauce, beer, wine, whiskey, cologne, or sulfuric acid.

A named character speaks in a language other than English

Bond will attend a gala, soirée, ball, banquet, masquerade, black-tie event, cocktail party, fundraiser, awards ceremony, premiere, reception, or a charity auction.

Bond drinks a martini

Runtime of at least 2 hours/120 minutes.

Female and/or BIPOC director and/or producer

Blue-eyed Bond

Opening action sequence

The Tower of London, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, Wembley, or Heathrow appears on screen.

Gun Barrel Sequence

Sex scene

Q appears

Bond solves ≥ 1 problem non-violently

Hacking electronics of some form

Bond uses explosives

The plot will be predominantly set in present day

Bond disarms someone with a melee weapon using martial arts

The main theme song will be sung by a female

The film features a scene at a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Fatal-if-missed aerial jump

A Bird (Avian) Will Appear Onscreen for >2 Seconds

Bond will shoot an inanimate object on purpose.

Asia will appear on screen

It will gross more worldwide than No Time to Die ($774M)

Someone goes through a pane of glass

A named character is a double (or triple, etc.) agent

"King" or "Queen" of England mentioned

Bond is on vacation (is shown somewhere for enjoyment, without purpose for his mission)

Someone in the movie says the title

@HenriThunberg enjoys the film

The villain will use or work in the field of artificial intelligence.

>= 7.0 IMDB rating 1 year after release

The villain is played by an actor who had a lead or recurring role on a prestigious television series that aired on either AMC or HBO.

Actor who plays Bond at least 6' (183 cm) tall

South America, Africa, or Australia will appear on screen

The words "James Bond will return" appear on screen during or after the credits.

Bond rides a motorcycle

James Bond disobeys orders from MI6 or the British government

Bond and a pond shown on screen together

Someone uses a euphemism to order a killing

Critics will say it's a return to classic bond

A sniper rifle is fired

At least a portion filmed in Canada

There will be a scene with wagering, gambling or betting

Bond wields a Walther PPK

Interracial sex scene

Pegasus, Phoenix, Griffin, Unicorn, Kraken, Minotaur, Medusa, Cyclops, Sphinx, Kitsune, Chimera, or Thunderbird (any visual representation)

Jungle / forest scene

>=85 on Tomatometer 1 month after US release

Bond flys an aircraft

It will feature ≥1 actor that was part of No Time to Die

Bond attends a soccer match, cricket game, rugby match, boxing/MMA fight, tennis match, e-sport event, the Olympics, a carnival or fair, the opera, or a horse race.

Casino game scene

Bond parachutes

Bond wears shorts

Bond pays for something by leaving money on a table and walking off without the recipient of the money present

>=7.5 on IMDB 1 month after US release

Arctic scene

Bond gets slapped

M will be played by Ralph Fiennes

Prison/jail scene

Black market trafficking

A single large explosion occurs on screen at the same time as Bond, and he doesn't look at it

Someone climbs around on the outside of a building

Released in 2028

The main character will order a “Vodka Martini, shaken, not stirred” using that exact phrase.

A Gulf kingdom will appear on screen (e.g. Dubai)

Bond licks something

It passes the Bechdel test (two named women talk the each other about anything besides a man)

someone combs or brushes their hair (or the hair of another person)

Bond in bondage (not necessarily sexual)

Bond slaps someone

A scene shows James Bond naked

Skydiving

Bond puts something phallic-shaped in his mouth

Bond is violent toward a woman (e.g. painful pulling, slap, throat grip...)

Someone speaks a verbal password phrase to verify their identity, gain access to a location, etc.

There will be a voiced character that is an AI

Bond rides a bicycle

Torture

James Bond talks to a woman while playing a card game.

A visible countdown clock, which if it reaches zero something bad happens

@brunoparga correctly guesses a pun beforehand

Bond plays craps, roulette, or blackjack

Bond drives a boat

A jet ski or snowmobile gets airborne

Someone is shot with a tranquilizer dart or other nonlethal incapacitating projectile (getting wounded with a potentially lethal weapon doesn't count)

Bond commits arson

Bond receives a gunshot wound

Oral sex

The ending pitches a next movie (continued story, introduction of villain, venegance, ...)

Bond will have a hot, young, American sidekick

Bond smokes a cigarette/cigar

Martini and a bikini shown on screen at the same time

Bond has facial hair

Terrorists

Main villain has a visible physical defect (scar, handicap, missing limb, ...)

US premier date is moved forward at least once (has to be numbered date, "summer 2026" doesn't count)

Someone carries a gun disassembled in a nondescript case

The title will refer to life and/or death

A safe is cracked (any means possible)

Actor who plays Bond is a US citizen

Rolex, Aston Martin, Bollinger Champaign product placements (all three)

Desert scene

A pandemic or biological warfare will be a central plot

Ski chase scene

Drug use

Someone/something is x-rayed

Thunderstorm

Dessert scene

An actor who previous played a Bond villain appears (as either a new or recurring character)

President of the United States is mentioned

IF the main villain has a pet that plays a significant role in the plot, this pet is a horse...

Robots

Death of a Bond love interest

James Bond plays poker

It refers to the transition between two British monarchs (Elizabeth, Charles and/or others)

There will be a promotional event in Fortnite

Bond wears a mask

Sharks

Wilhelm scream

Cocaine or caviar appears on screen

Bond will be in a submarine

James Bond plays baccarat

Scene with Bond wearing a hat and sunglasses

Bond complains about the quality of an alcoholic beverage

Bond is LQBTQ+

James games (Bond plays any video game, table top board game, or role-playing game) *chess counts, casino games don't

Bond has a disability

Bond claims to have retired / quit from the world of espionage

Theme song will be performed by a band (more than one artist. Duran Duran did it, so there is precedent.)

Jetpack

Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, or Zendaya appear on screen

Bond rides an animal

Nazis (neo- counts)

An EMP device plays a central role.

At least one named character below 18 years old

Canada is shown on screen

Bond throws food, darts, or a Molotov cocktail

Orgy

Moscow, Kyiv, or Paris shown on screen

Underwater combat

The movie will be set during the Cold War (1947-1991)

Main villain speaks Russian on screen

The word "fuck" is said more than once.

Mexico is shown on screen

Cryptocurrency is referenced

With all this speculation about which kinds of sex acts will be shown, I'm surprised nobody has said it yet, so I'll say it: 𝕓𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕘𝕖

Bond beds a "lady of the night" (ie. He fucks a prostitute)

Bond is blond

A hamburger appears on screen

Assplay

Trans character - explicity stated they are trans, no ambiguity (must be on screen for min. 7 seconds and say at least 3 words)

Climate change/global warming is explicitly mentioned

Bond uses a VR headset

Bond has a neck tattoo

Will feature something that can turn invisible

Bond goes to space

Revealed that "James Bond" has always been a code name.

A pinball machine will appear.

Gay sex scene

The main villain has a pet that plays a significant role in the plot.

Party and play (PnP), also known as chemsex, scene

Someone sees something incredible, and implicitly ascribes it to alcohol (traditionally, by looking at the bottle)

Pirates

Bond plays golf, tennis, or croquet

A character has the codename "Fat Rascal"

Someone asks for payment in "small, unmarked bills" or "negotiable bearer bonds" (wording need not be exact)

San Francisco is shown on screen

Pegging

Bond plays Russian roulette

Another character coincidentally has the first name "James" or surname "Bond" (or both)

Horse cock on screen (flaccid)

Someone uses the word "clip" to refer to a magazine

Satanism

Bond consumes more than 1.5 loads of jizz

A clocks shows the time 4:20

Features a shot with someone lowering a newspaper, magazine or book, revealing they had been surreptitiously spying on someone

It will be described as featuring AI, such as claims that is uses “AI actors”, as reported by entertainment media.

Feature Nightcore music

Bond uses chopsticks

Theme song is performed by Taylor Swift

Supernatural entities

There will be a character codenamed "Fat Rascal" and they will be played by an American

Nuclear explosion

Desert dessert scene (e.g. eating an ice cream in the Sahara)

Any character says the word "anime"

Emilia Clarke portrays a character

Bond has a mustache (no other facial hair)

Vampires

Theme song is performed by The Weeknd

fight featuring at least one of: viper, mongoose, someone with one of those as their code name

Bond vapes

Bond won't be Caucasian

The main character will order a “café mocha, double double” using that exact phrase.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson plays Bond

A previous Bond actor appears (as either a new or recurring character)

Scat play

Bond does depraved sexual acts for money (e.g., bukakke, public gang bangs, period play, etc.)

Contains a joke or indirect reference to the "last night I Bond Burgered your sister" meme

Horse cock on screen (erect)

Prediction markets, origami, or the word "manifold" appear in the movie.

Bond will say the line about snakes on a plane, but only as a metaphor (with snakes representing penises and the plane being his ass).

The handkerchief code is a major plot element

James Bond will say, "I'm rational, rationalussy."

ChatGPT is referenced by any character

It will be directed by a woman

Bond dies

Bond plays League of Legends

Destiny appears on screen

Bond says, “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”

The fourth wall is broken

Dragons

Dinosaurs

It will be directed by Christopher Nolan

Bond is vegan

Released in 2026

Other

BDSM

Power couple

"Fun while it lasted"

Me + *Her*

Keynesian beauty contest

Spinning rapidly in opposite directions

Polyamory

Monogamy

Relationship Futarchy

Human + Robot

Enemies to Lovers

Co-conspirators

Philosophically incompatible

Conjoined twinks

Horizontal gene transfer

borgie

Relationship Anarchy

Platonic

Wild Lovers

Friends with Benefits

Relationship constitutional republic: people in it have systemically different levels of power and decision-making influence

Forever alone

Glucose guardian/splenda spender/sugar daddy

Hive / Swarm / Superorganism

Love triangle

Traditional marriage of two cis straight White Christian vanilla people where the man "leads" and is 0-4 years older than the woman, with 2.5 kids (not counting any LGBTQIA+ ones) and a McMansion with 2.5 SUVs/trucks

Universal love

merged consciousness

Rationalussy

Vespertine

liking/reacting to even their most meaningless posts and comments on social media and prediction markets

Matriarchy

Labor Union

Socratic

Partners in crime, like Caroline Ellison and Sam Bankman-Fried

One with an IPO (Intimate Partnership Offer)

Just being one helluva slut

Beard

Paradixical

Friends with Detriments

NP-complete

"I'll never admit to anyone that we met on Tinder"

Hell's Kitchen

Stockholm Syndrome

London Syndrome

Financial Domination

The Price is Right

Crows

Single by choice (except it's other people's choice)

Budget horse

assortative

Hubris quest

Fiends with benefits

Envenomation

Polygamy

Polyandry

Ethical Non-Monogamy

Unethical Non-Monogamy

Celibacy

Aromanticism

Solo poly

Open relationship

Polyfidelity

What's a "relationship"?

Reflexive

Symmetric

Transitive

Metamour

Socially enforced monogamy

Unreciprocated love

Asexual romance

Abusive

"This is my emotional support Ex"

FWB

Enemies-To-Lovers

Codependent

Transference

Monogamish

Voyeuristic

Hobbesian

Romantic Mutual Suicide

Mutuals

Animalistic

Human + AI

parasocial

Polycule

Cuckold

Throuple

Boyce-Codd normal form

Aristotelian

I like big butts and I cannot lie

I like big butts and I cannot tell the truth, how will you escape our dungeon

[Uno-X] 4 or more WorldTour victories

[Uno-X] Do not finish in the top 10 of any Grand Tour GC

[Red Bull-BORA] Finish on the podium in GC in all three Grand Tours

[Lidl-Trek] Do not podium any Grand Tour GC

[Decathlon] 6 or more WorldTour victories

[Decathlon] Paul Seixas podiums Liege-Bastogne-Liege

[Decathlon] Paul Seixas wins Il Lombardia

[Decathlon] Top 6 in the UCI rankings in 2026

[FDJ-Suez] Demi Vollering scores the most UCI points of any woman in 2026

[Alpecin] Jasper Philipsen wins Gent-Wevelgem

[UAE] 40 or more WorldTour victories

[Lotto-Intermarche] 4 or more WorldTour victories

[Lotto-Intermarche] 13 or more victories (.1 or higher)

[Visma] Sepp Kuss finishes better than Jonas Vingegaard at the Tour de France

[Visma] Wilco Kelderman wins a race

[Ineos] Egan Bernal and Brandon Rivera sign with Movistar before EOY 2026

[Lidl-Trek] Mattias Skjelmose leaves the team before the end of 2026

[Uno-X] Jonas Abrahamsen wins 2 or more Grand Tour stages

[Uno-X] Johannes Kulset scores 1000 or more UCI points

[Uno-X] Adne Holter scores 1000 or more UCI points

[Red Bull-BORA] Laurence Pithie podiums a Monument

[Red Bull-BORA] Florian Lipowitz places better than Remco Evenepoel at the Tour de France

[Red Bull-BORA] 15 or more WorldTour victories

[Lidl-Trek] 23 or more WorldTour victories

[Lidl-Trek] Juan Ayuso podiums the Vuelta a España GC

[Lidl-Trek] 3rd in UCI points for the 2026 season

[Lidl-Trek] Mathias Vacek wins a cobbled classic

[Lidl-Trek] Mads Pedersen does not win a WorldTour race

[Decathlon] Paul Seixas podiums the Giro d'Italia

[Decathlon] Olav Kooij wins 4 or more WorldTour races

[Decathlon] Win a stage in all three Grand Tours

[Soudal-Quickstep] 15 or more WorldTour victories

[Soudal-Quickstep] Gianmarco Garofoli wins a Giro d'Italia stage

[Soudal-Quickstep] Gianmarco Garofoli wins the King of the Mountains at the Giro d'Italia

[Soudal-Quickstep] Ilan van Wilder has a better average finishing position than Remco Evenepoel in the Ardennes classics (Amstel, Fleche, LBL)

[Ineos] Sam Welsford wins 4 times as many races (or more) as Arne Marit

[Ineos] Joshua Tarling wins more time trials than Remco Evenepoel

[Alpecin] Win the points classification in two Grand Tours

[UAE] Tadej Pogacar wins all five Monuments

[UAE] Antonio Morgado podiums a 1.UWT classic race

[NSN] Biniam Girmay wins a 1.UWT race

[NSN] Corbin Strong podiums Liege-Bastogne-Liege

[Visma] Matthew Brennan wins 3 Vuelta stages + the green jersey

[Visma] A French rider on Visma wins a WorldTour stage race GC

[Visma] Bruno Armirail wins a Tour de France stage

[Visma] Timo Kielich finishes in the top 5 at Paris-Roubaix

With a cisgender woman

With anyone at all

With a cisgender man

With a transfeminine person

A white man

A black man

Someone under 40 at the time of gaining the title

Dommaraju Gukesh

Javokhir Sindarov

Yağız Kaan Erdoğmuş

R Praggnanandhaa

Alireza Firouzja

Fabi

Ian Nepomniachtchi

Hikaru Nakamura

Giri

Wesley So

A woman

Hot President

No human-faced-scorpion locusts

No, death will still have an effect until 23-SEPT-2028

The mark will not appear before 23-SEPT-2028

No false-prophet will appear

No whore will appear

No Two Witnesses will appear

One or more or all of the negatory responses will be the case until and/or after 23-SEPT-2068, meaning nothing of the above will have happened before the two listed dates

No temple before 23-SEPT-2028

Yes temple before 23-SEPT-2028

The Two Witnesses will start blowing people on fire before 23-SEPT-2028

The mark will appear before 23-SEPT-2028

One or more or all of the affirmative responses except will occur before 23-SEPT-2068

The whure of Babylon is some other woman

Yes human-faced-scorpion locusts before 23-SEPT-2028

Yes, death with evade being effective at all, before 23-SEPT-2028

Elon Musk is the False Prophet

The new Pope Leo will be either the prophesied last-pope and/or the False Prophet

words are wind

Blackfyre

tragedy/tragedies

song of ice and fire

milk of the poppy

glass candle

prince who was promised

moon blood/moon’s blood

Tyrek

nuncle

dark wings, dark words

biscuit/biscuits

winds of winter

Trial of Seven

dagged sleeves

Alicent

Aerion

Rhaenyra

quorking

Dark Sister

radiant

fratricide

deicide

sneeze/sneezes/sneezed/sneezing

Saera

house of the dragon

hard-bitten

week/weeks/weekly

damask

Essos

Doreah

rice

turkey

joke/jokes/joked/joking

cute/cuter/cutest

crocodile(s)

anon

faceless woman

insipid

slayer of lies

there must always be a Stark in Winterfell

delve (any form)

Elmo

hello

Someone born in Florida

A Woman

A non-white Republican

A Jewish Person

A 3rd Party

≥1 bones (like Denisova 4, Homo denisova, ~60kya)

≥2 bones (like Xiahe mandible, Homo denisova, ~160kya)

≥20 bones (enough for ~complete skull, like La Ferrassie 1, Homo neanderthalensis, ~50kya)

No more fossils found

≥40 bones (like AL 288-1 / Lucy / Dinkʼinesh, Australopithecus afarensis, ~3.2Mya)

≥100 bones (like KNM-WT 15000 / Turkana Boy / Nariokotome Boy, Homo erectus, ~1.5Mya)

≥200 bones (~complete skeleton, like Barum Woman / Bäckaskogskvinna, Homo sapiens, ~9kya)