Throw It Down News

The Jews control at least one nation's government

The P320 pistol has a design flaw allowing it to fire without pulling the trigger

Imane Khelif is intersex

Orgies by the wealthy elite as portrayed in 'Eyes Wide Shut'.

Orgies by the fucked-up poors as portrayed in "Eyes Wide Shut XXX" (2013)

The UK security services are complicit in the coverup of a significant underage sex scandal closely linked to the monarchy, taking place in the UK in the period 1975-2015

DHMO in the water supply

Dream faked the Manhunt videos

Osama bin Laden didn't act alone

Santa is rigged

That motherfucker WAS real (Tiffany Gomas was wrong the whole time)

√-1 isn't real

Smartphones listen in on private conversations

The 1% promoted culture wars to distract from class war

Some answers in this market are psyops to discredit all the others

Trump committed sex offenses against minors on Epstein Island

Joe/Hunter Biden took bribe to protect Burisma from investigation

Atrazine works as an endocrine-disrupting chemical (EDC), converting testosterone to estrogen in the bodies of frogs leading to homosexual proclivities.

Lionel Messi never played for a Real football (soccer) team

US security services use the Google Play Store as an attack vector for android devices

The CCP has a plan to exterminate a large number of people they consider to not be ethnically Chinese

ASI will converge on agreeing (90%+ credence) that the Self-Indication Assumption is true.

Groundhog Day is rigged

That stock trading AI supposedly built by @SteveSokolowski is actually part of an elaborate scam

Ticketmaster is in cahoots with organized scalpers

Gamergate was right

The NBA rigs the draft lottery

The CCP is directly supporting drug cartel activity in the West

Germany has a well-prepared plan (in 2024-) to start mass producing nuclear weapons in <6 months (in case things go bad geopolitically)

China was not genociding Uyghurs

Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself

Tiffany Gomas is not the same person as the TMINR lady in the video. She is a PSYOP for Barstool.

Annie Altman's abuse claims

The Romance languages are not descended from Classical Latin

John McAfee didn't kill himself

At least 3 of the members elected to the French lower house of Parliament in 2024 are Russian agents

The Church and elites deliberately suppressed and distorted the more Gnostic message of Jesus Christ.

An adversary is intentionally causing hysteria over drone incidents to force the US/UK's hand into revealing their anti-drone tech

There are devices which have been used to alter the electric network frequency of a country in the Middle East to leave more identifiable traces in recorded video and audio clips

Bielefeld does not exist, but another city with the same name in the same place does

Smart devices are almost always listening to your private conversations

Major deaths, terror, and tragedy events are routinely hoaxes per Miles Mathis.

FDR deliberately left Pearl Harbor vulnerable, in order to goad Americans into war

The Obamas have a loveless marriage, kept together for optics only

The Clintons assasinated their rivals

This one makes me feel evil, so I ROT13'd it, use ROT13 to decode if you want to keep me company in Hell: Ybh Truevt'f ergverzrag jnf npghnyyl na ZYO-znaqngrq fhfcrafvba

Eliezer wrote The Erogamer

The US/UK/French security services are sinking Russian ships in response to attacks on undersea cables and other hybrid warfare activities (since 2022)

Deepwater Horizon explosion due to sabotage

Trump and Netanyahu had Charlie Kirk killed to take control of TPUSA

China made covid 19 in a lab

Rory Stewart worked for MI6

At least one UN recognised country is secretly controlled by a cabal following a religion shared by <5% of the country's population

Eating your veggies is bad for your health

The US, UK and French security services have collectively assassinated at least 10 German citizens in Germany since 2022

The article "Deliberate Errors" documenting winks connecting Apollo and Kubrick films is correct, because Kubrick played a role in filming some of the Apollo missions.

Hellenistic science developed statistical mechanics to the point of being able to derive PV=nRT

As of June 2025, JD Vance is secretly making plans to use future ASI to sieze power and become eternal world dictator

Shakespeare didn’t write his own plays

My dog went to live on farm that was full of other dogs that he could run with and play with and he was much happier than staying with us and peeing on the rug.

Youssoufa Moukoko (soccer player) was born earlier than he claims (earlier than 2004)

@strutheo is @notrickspringfield

Charles Manson had a rib removed in the late 1990s

Michael Jordan's first NBA retirement was actually a forced suspension.

Dead Internet theory

Bitcoin was created by a US three letter agency

Lee Harvey Oswald didn't act alone.

lɐǝɹ ʇ,usᴉ ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀

The American govt is actually a totalitarian dictatorship

The U.S. military is the number one customer of Glitterex (a glitter company) but doesn't want anyone to know because it hurts their masculine image.

Members of US government had prior knowledge of 9/11 and let it happen

Aluminum cookware actually *does* cause Alzheimers.

The hellenistic civilization was aware of the existence of the American continent

A pharma company has a much better treatment for cancer that they are keeping secret because it would compete with their existing products

Hellenistic scientists could derive the correct refraction law by minimizing light travel time

Marilyn Manson had a rib removed in the late 1990s

The 1% promoted class war to distract from culture wars

Covid was a deliberate test of pandemic preparedness in view of bacteriological war between China and the US

ASI will converge on agreeing (90%+ credence) that Trump/Musk model the first/second beast of Revelation.

The CIA killed JFK

Non-human intelligence affecting events on Earth is not extraterrestrial "aliens," and humans are incorrect in believing that reality consists only of the Universe.

The New Zealand government had advance knowledge of the sinking of the Rainbow Warrior

The Hellenistic civilization was aware of the existence of Azeroth

Sue Gray was a spy

Dominic Cummings was/is a Russian spy

We live in an ancestor simulation per Nick Bostrom.

The 9/11 terror attack date is meaningfully connected to Ernest Martin's theory that Jesus was born on September 11, 3 BC rather than a coincidence.

Ogopogo and the Yeti faked their relationship (to boost CFL ratings, to increase Taylor Swift's movie sales, support Trudeau's reelection, b/c Ogopogo is PSY, etc.)

covid-19 vaccine is net negative for health for people who are under 35, with no aggravating condition, and not obese

The Hawk Tuah meme is a North Korean psyop

Finno-Korean Hyperwar was real

Many vaccines on the standard CDC childhood immunization schedule have serious negative side effects (net negative on health) for at least 5% of the population.

The pharma industry has a better version of Viagra that they keep secret to keep their profits up

Elon Musk used Starlink to rig the 2024 election

Epstein was alive as of Jan 2026, but dead in the meantime since his "suicide"

"Geoterrorism" (weather modification for terrorism) is real as of 2024

Princess Diana was assassinated

The NFL is rigged

Jeffrey Epstein is still alive

Hellenistic science advanced meta-thermodynamics to derive 𝑄 = 𝑛𝐶Δ𝑇(1 + 𝐻⊙⋆) using the Holtzman Generator

US security services asked Microsoft to buy Skype and alter the software so they could target users more easily

Harold Holt murdered

Covid 19 was made in a labradoodle

COVID-19 vaccine is net negative for health

A cure for cancer has already been found

Jet fuel *can* melt steel beams, but the official 9/11 narrative is sus because chemtrail chemicals cannot

South Korea has had nuclear weapons since 2023

Biden and/or US govt did Jan 6 (exclude trump)

The NBA rigged Shaq's free throws

Skin cancer is caused by a lack of melanin, regardless of sunlight exposure

Hellenistic scientists could derive the correct warp-induced refraction law by exceeding Warp Factor 9 under Cochrane’s Theorem

Circa 1920 civilizational collapse (c.f. "Whither Tartaria?")

Ogopogo is real

QAnon

Exercise is bad for your health

A support network of close friendships is bad for your health

Israel killed JFK

Bush did 9/11

Airplane trails have toxic chemicals (chemtrails)

Shakespeare is not real - they claim he was married to Anne Hathaway but she's like only 40 or so

carbon dioxide isn't the main cause of global warming

Allen Iverson invented A.I.

The government iodizes the water and fluoridates salt when it should be the other way around

Bitcoin was created by a 3 letter Hellenistic agency

Mossad releases video and audio clips, intended to be of interest to their adversaries, which play special sounds that humans don't notice

Epstein was still alive as of Jan 2026

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce faked their relationship (to boost NFL ratings, to increase Tay's movie sales, legitimize mRNA vaccines, b/c she is a PSYOP, etc.)

QR codes are satanic

Hellenistic science knew of quantum mechanics

The Hellenistic civilization invented USB

Mossad uses Hellenistic technology borrowed from the North Sentinelese

South Sudan has had nukes since 2023

Xi Jinping had advance knowledge of the Hawk Tuah meme

Trump devolved the government in anticipation of 2020 election fraud and replaced Biden with an actor wearing a mask.

China purposely spread covid 19 having intended it to escape the lab

Human didnt evolve from apes

Getting 8 hours of sleep is bad for your health

Tom Brady's retirement was actually an NFL mandated suspension

Hitler killed himself because the alternative was going to Argentina

Jerry Sandusky is innocent.

Skin cancer is caused by sunblock, not sunlight

Lee Harvey Oswald was an agent of the Hellenistic Civilization

Famous Israeli agent Eisseberg was behind the sinking of the Titanic

xkcd 690: on 9/11, one of the towers was hit by a plane and the other was a controlled demolition

@HenriThunberg was paid to create the James Bond market to promote the upcoming movie

Marilyn Monroe had a rib removed in the late 1990s

Effective Altruism is a scam and they just embezzle all the donations

Rationalussy isn't real.

Chinese people really *are* just saying the n-word.

Tupac is still alive in 2024

Bielefeld does not exist

The 2020 US presidential election was rigged/stolen

Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen, and they made the movie Frozen so that when people googled 'Walt Disney Frozen' the movie would come up first

The Mandella Effect in general is real

The Hellenistic Civilization made COVID-19 in a lab

The North Sentinelese have a non-secret aircraft carrier, they have announced it to the world loud and clear. Problem is: nobody speaks their language.

US government is harboring aliens

Monica Lewinsky was a Mossad agent

Birds aren't real

climate change isn't human caused

Tiger Woods is a militant separatist Tamil

The North Sentinelese have a secret aircraft carrier

Hurricane Katrina caused by HAARP

Climate change isn’t real

The moon landing was fake

The CIA killed Tupac, and JFK is still alive as of 2024

You personally live in Truman Show style captivity

The Romance languages are not descended from Latin

The North Sentinelese are remnants of the Hellenistic civilization

The 9/11 terror attack was a justified false flag to secure a weapon of mass destruction (destabalizing religious text and/or supertechnology) at the tomb of Gilgamesh.

The illuminati runs the world

*All* health care is net negative for health

Q is Putin

Michelle Obama is a man

Brazilian money is not real

Yeti is real or similar creature

Hitler didn't kill himself he went to Argentina

The earth is a dodecahedron

Skibidi Toilet is real

It used to be spelled Berenstein Bears

Africa isn't real

HIV doesn’t cause AIDS

Christiano Ronaldo never played for a Real football (soccer) team

There is no female orgasm

The North Sentinelese are concealing super-advanced technology.

The earth is flat

*All* vaccines are net negative for health

End of the world in 2012

Earth is hollow

Justin Trudeau is actually Black and has been wearing "whiteface" all along.

Finland isn't real

Australia isn't real.

5G will kill all vaccinated people once the towers are switched on

Nuclear weapons have never existed

Flossing is bad for your health

Brushing your teeth is bad for your health

Taylor Swift and Mary Berg are the same person

The Epcot sphere was built by aliens as some sort of energy device powering the rat empire.

Bond will be a man

Gunplay

Bond drives a car

Bond wears a suit/tuxedo

On screen fatalities

London will appear on screen

Car chase scene

Urban scene

Bond tells ≥1 joke

Blue-eyed Bond

Bond introduces himself as "Bond, James Bond"

World capital other than London appears on screen

A vessel is shown on screen containing any of the following: ketchup, mustard, wasabi, soy sauce, hot sauce, beer, wine, whiskey, cologne, or sulfuric acid.

A named character speaks in a language other than English

Bond will attend a gala, soirée, ball, banquet, masquerade, black-tie event, cocktail party, fundraiser, awards ceremony, premiere, reception, or a charity auction.

Runtime of at least 2 hours/120 minutes.

Bond drinks a martini

Female and/or BIPOC director and/or producer

Opening action sequence

The Tower of London, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, Wembley, or Heathrow appears on screen.

Gun Barrel Sequence

Sex scene

Q appears

Bond solves ≥ 1 problem non-violently

Hacking electronics of some form

Bond uses explosives

The plot will be predominantly set in present day

Bond disarms someone with a melee weapon using martial arts

The main theme song will be sung by a female

The film features a scene at a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Fatal-if-missed aerial jump

A Bird (Avian) Will Appear Onscreen for >2 Seconds

Bond will shoot an inanimate object on purpose.

Asia will appear on screen

It will gross more worldwide than No Time to Die ($774M)

Someone goes through a pane of glass

A named character is a double (or triple, etc.) agent

"King" or "Queen" of England mentioned

Bond is on vacation (is shown somewhere for enjoyment, without purpose for his mission)

Someone in the movie says the title

@HenriThunberg enjoys the film

It will feature ≥1 actor that was part of No Time to Die

The villain will use or work in the field of artificial intelligence.

>= 7.0 IMDB rating 1 year after release

The villain is played by an actor who had a lead or recurring role on a prestigious television series that aired on either AMC or HBO.

Actor who plays Bond at least 6' (183 cm) tall

South America, Africa, or Australia will appear on screen

The words "James Bond will return" appear on screen during or after the credits.

Bond rides a motorcycle

>=85 on Tomatometer 1 month after US release

Critics will say it's a return to classic bond

A sniper rifle is fired

At least a portion filmed in Canada

There will be a scene with wagering, gambling or betting

Bond wields a Walther PPK

Interracial sex scene

Pegasus, Phoenix, Griffin, Unicorn, Kraken, Minotaur, Medusa, Cyclops, Sphinx, Kitsune, Chimera, or Thunderbird (any visual representation)

Jungle / forest scene

Bond flys an aircraft

James Bond disobeys orders from MI6 or the British government

Bond attends a soccer match, cricket game, rugby match, boxing/MMA fight, tennis match, e-sport event, the Olympics, a carnival or fair, the opera, or a horse race.

Casino game scene

Bond parachutes

It passes the Bechdel test (two named women talk the each other about anything besides a man)

Bond wears shorts

Bond pays for something by leaving money on a table and walking off without the recipient of the money present

>=7.5 on IMDB 1 month after US release

Arctic scene

Someone uses a euphemism to order a killing

Bond gets slapped

M will be played by Ralph Fiennes

Prison/jail scene

Black market trafficking

A single large explosion occurs on screen at the same time as Bond, and he doesn't look at it

Someone climbs around on the outside of a building

Released in 2028

Skydiving

The main character will order a “Vodka Martini, shaken, not stirred” using that exact phrase.

A Gulf kingdom will appear on screen (e.g. Dubai)

Bond licks something

Bond and a pond shown on screen together

someone combs or brushes their hair (or the hair of another person)

Bond in bondage (not necessarily sexual)

Bond slaps someone

A scene shows James Bond naked

Bond puts something phallic-shaped in his mouth

Bond is violent toward a woman (e.g. painful pulling, slap, throat grip...)

Someone speaks a verbal password phrase to verify their identity, gain access to a location, etc.

There will be a voiced character that is an AI

Bond rides a bicycle

Torture

James Bond talks to a woman while playing a card game.

Bond receives a gunshot wound

A visible countdown clock, which if it reaches zero something bad happens

Wilhelm scream

Main villain has a visible physical defect (scar, handicap, missing limb, ...)

The title will refer to life and/or death

@brunoparga correctly guesses a pun beforehand

Bond plays craps, roulette, or blackjack

Bond drives a boat

A jet ski or snowmobile gets airborne

Someone is shot with a tranquilizer dart or other nonlethal incapacitating projectile (getting wounded with a potentially lethal weapon doesn't count)

James Bond plays poker

Bond commits arson

Oral sex

Bond smokes a cigarette/cigar

Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, or Zendaya appear on screen

Martini and a bikini shown on screen at the same time

Bond has facial hair

Terrorists

US premier date is moved forward at least once (has to be numbered date, "summer 2026" doesn't count)

Someone carries a gun disassembled in a nondescript case

A safe is cracked (any means possible)

Actor who plays Bond is a US citizen

Rolex, Aston Martin, Bollinger Champaign product placements (all three)

Desert scene

The ending pitches a next movie (continued story, introduction of villain, venegance, ...)

A pandemic or biological warfare will be a central plot

Ski chase scene

Drug use

Someone/something is x-rayed

Thunderstorm

Dessert scene

An actor who previous played a Bond villain appears (as either a new or recurring character)

President of the United States is mentioned

IF the main villain has a pet that plays a significant role in the plot, this pet is a horse...

Robots

Bond throws food, darts, or a Molotov cocktail

Death of a Bond love interest

It refers to the transition between two British monarchs (Elizabeth, Charles and/or others)

Bond will have a hot, young, American sidekick

Theme song will be performed by a band (more than one artist. Duran Duran did it, so there is precedent.)

There will be a promotional event in Fortnite

Bond wears a mask

Sharks

Cocaine or caviar appears on screen

Bond will be in a submarine

James Bond plays baccarat

Scene with Bond wearing a hat and sunglasses

Cryptocurrency is referenced

Bond complains about the quality of an alcoholic beverage

Bond plays golf, tennis, or croquet

Bond is LQBTQ+

Bond rides an animal

James games (Bond plays any video game, table top board game, or role-playing game) *chess counts, casino games don't

Main villain speaks Russian on screen

Bond has a disability

Nazis (neo- counts)

Bond claims to have retired / quit from the world of espionage

Mexico is shown on screen

Jetpack

The movie will be set during the Cold War (1947-1991)

An EMP device plays a central role.

Climate change/global warming is explicitly mentioned

At least one named character below 18 years old

Orgy

Canada is shown on screen

Will feature something that can turn invisible

A hamburger appears on screen

Moscow, Kyiv, or Paris shown on screen

Underwater combat

Bond goes to space

The word "fuck" is said more than once.

With all this speculation about which kinds of sex acts will be shown, I'm surprised nobody has said it yet, so I'll say it: 𝕓𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕘𝕖

Bond beds a "lady of the night" (ie. He fucks a prostitute)

Bond is blond

Features a shot with someone lowering a newspaper, magazine or book, revealing they had been surreptitiously spying on someone

Someone sees something incredible, and implicitly ascribes it to alcohol (traditionally, by looking at the bottle)

Theme song is performed by Taylor Swift

A previous Bond actor appears (as either a new or recurring character)

Assplay

Trans character - explicity stated they are trans, no ambiguity (must be on screen for min. 7 seconds and say at least 3 words)

Bond plays Russian roulette

Bond uses a VR headset

Bond has a neck tattoo

Aaron Taylor-Johnson plays Bond

The main villain has a pet that plays a significant role in the plot.

Revealed that "James Bond" has always been a code name.

fight featuring at least one of: viper, mongoose, someone with one of those as their code name

A pinball machine will appear.

Gay sex scene

Pirates

Party and play (PnP), also known as chemsex, scene

Emilia Clarke portrays a character

A character has the codename "Fat Rascal"

Someone asks for payment in "small, unmarked bills" or "negotiable bearer bonds" (wording need not be exact)

Theme song is performed by The Weeknd

San Francisco is shown on screen

Pegging

Another character coincidentally has the first name "James" or surname "Bond" (or both)

Horse cock on screen (flaccid)

Someone uses the word "clip" to refer to a magazine

Satanism

Bond consumes more than 1.5 loads of jizz

A clocks shows the time 4:20

It will be described as featuring AI, such as claims that is uses “AI actors”, as reported by entertainment media.

Feature Nightcore music

Supernatural entities

There will be a character codenamed "Fat Rascal" and they will be played by an American

ChatGPT is referenced by any character

Bond uses chopsticks

Released in 2026

Nuclear explosion

Desert dessert scene (e.g. eating an ice cream in the Sahara)

Any character says the word "anime"

Bond has a mustache (no other facial hair)

Vampires

Bond vapes

Bond won't be Caucasian

The main character will order a “café mocha, double double” using that exact phrase.

Bond dies

Scat play

Bond does depraved sexual acts for money (e.g., bukakke, public gang bangs, period play, etc.)

Contains a joke or indirect reference to the "last night I Bond Burgered your sister" meme

Horse cock on screen (erect)

Prediction markets, origami, or the word "manifold" appear in the movie.

Bond will say the line about snakes on a plane, but only as a metaphor (with snakes representing penises and the plane being his ass).

The handkerchief code is a major plot element

James Bond will say, "I'm rational, rationalussy."

Bond is vegan

The fourth wall is broken

It will be directed by a woman

Bond plays League of Legends

Destiny appears on screen

Bond says, “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”

Dragons

Dinosaurs

It will be directed by Christopher Nolan

Stretch-and-fold after mixing, 3x every 30 min

3 iterations of stretch-and-fold, at any time during the 14h waiting period. Minimum wait time between iterations 1 hour

Place small ice cubes between parchment and pot instead of water

Add 1tsp of diastatic malt powder per 3cps of flour

Use tap water instead of fancy RO water

put butter into it

Toast the bread

Donate the bread to a food pantry, homeless person, or someone else in need

Add lots of butter (0.2 ml per gram)

Half yeast

Bake it with your best friend.

Use whole wheat to improve the nutrition of the bread

Bake for 5 more minutes

Bake for an amount of minutes equal to the percent this market answer is at when it comes time to begin baking. (Maintain the ±3 minute tolerances and the 2:1 ratio of time before:after the water spritz.)

Sprinkle 3 grams of flaky sea salt on top of each loaf before the second bake

Increase water by 50 g

it needs more salt

Replace all water spritz steps with a basting of extra virgin olive oil.

Diastatic malt (~1% baker's percentage) = happier yeast

Serve the bread hot

Do a second rise

Use sourdough instead of yeast

Don't eat anything for at least 24 hours before eating the bread

Create indentation, fill with melted cheese and butter

don't eat anything for at least 2400 hours before eating the bread

Cut into the dough right before baking looks destructive to improve the appearance

Sell your bread at an auction and donate the money to those in immigration detention prisons.

Add garlic

Do it with a good spirit in your heart, or ask someone with a good spirit to do it for you. But don’t watch while they do it.

Sprinkle sesame seeds evenly over the top

Give ChatGPT your current recipe as well your take on what optimal bread tastes like, then take that advice for your next bake

Short advice: Start baking at 260°C for strong rise, then reduce to 230°C and uncover halfway to achieve even browning and a crisp crust. 🍞

Try baking a little more "bien cuit". If the image is indicative, your loaves may be quite "blonde".

put ketchup and cheese on it

Use Iodized salt

Don't eat anything for at least 48 hours before eating the bread

Invest in a "Bakers Steel" for better heat retention and oven spring. It would mean graduating from a dutch oven though.

Add slurs to it

Do all the changes in the top 5 open options by probability, excluding this option

Make banana bread

Ask ChatGPT (GPT-5, with thinking enabled) for suggestions on improving the bread, with this market description, then do all of them.

Get recipe from gemini with experiments done, taste preference, then confirm it with chatgpt for final suggestion.

Make the bread taste good

Don't automatically "Heat water to 30±1 °C". Instead, aim for a desired dough temperature (DDT) of 25-26°C. 30°C water is too hot for summer, and potentially too cool for winter.

If your city uses artesian water, replace plastic bottled water with tap water. It will add natural, healthy alkalinity to your bread.

Substitute 75 g of your flour with spelt flour

Give Gemini your current recipe as well your take on what optimal bread tastes like, then take that advice for your next bake

Add 6.25±1.25 g lemon juice when mixing in water to yeast and salt jug

Watch the video

Ditch current process, do everything the same as the video

Bread flour, 3x yeast, cut rise to ~3h

Eat the bread while punching @realDonaldTrump in the face

Eat the bread while watching your mana balance steadily tick to (M)0

Throw the bread at a telescope

Cut bread into loaves before serving

Cut bread into ≤0.4inch slices, toast before serving

Invite your taste-testers to make the bread with you

Bake for 15 more minutes

Tarriff the bread-making process with a 10% reduction of all ingredients where actual physical money is required to purchase them, until it “shrinkflates,” but try to keep the same volume. Do not reduce any free ingredients.

Add 2 tbsp vanilla cake mix

Taste the bread

throw your recipe into a black box Bayesian hyperparameter optimization framework and iterate as necessary (see the Google Vizier Cookie Recipe paper for example

Put a baking rack in the Dutch oven before putting the loaf in, raising the loaf off the floor and lofting it over a layer of air.

Buy bread from a michelin star restaurant.

Just freeze the ready bread, then slowly bake it until it’s hot inside. It will give you a crustier crumb, contain less moisture, and taste better.

Put a non-lethal dose of any rat poison.

Add melatonin to the bread and eat before you sleep (do safely)

Standardize a separate list of process features to keep track of independently of all other tests and use the cross entropy method to tune them to maximize your bread preference

Have someone sell the bread to you at an expensive price

While the bread is baking, tip every user who voted "Yes" on this option 25 Mana

Use a food-grade, human-approved vitamin D supplement in the correct dosage for testers with vitamin D deficiency

Use a convection oven/setting

Add 1/2 scoop whey protein powder

Brush on an egg wash

Replace part of the flour in the dough with freshly crushed hemp seeds. It will make the bread a little bit sweeter, especially appealing for Canadians.

Only use tap water from specifically New York City

Make the bread great again

Decompose it into infinite spheres, then a few parts per sphere, rotate the spheres by arccos(1/3), unite them and you will find 2 chilis (Banach-Tarski)

Bake the Manifold Crane into the Bread

Make the bread edible then throw it in

Drink vodka while eating the bread

Do FOLDED

Quit Manifold into the bread.

Kill the bread into Manifold.

Assume the chili is not in the interval [0,1], square it for more chili, if it is in (0,1), take the square root, else (equals 0 or 1) add 1 to it.

Assume the chili is in the interval (0,1), square it for less chili, if it is in (1,infinity) take the square root, if it is in (-infinity,0) take the negative of the square of the of the chile, else (equals 0 or 1) subtract 1 from it.

Replace AP with bread flour and cruelly mix the dough in the mixer until elastic and not sticky

replace 10% of flour with farina bona

Add a tablespoon of sugar

Bake one more minute

Replace 10% of flour with milled wheat bran

Grind/powderize all salt used into a fine powder (with pestle & mortar or similar device)

Instead of RO water, use lightly rusty water to improve the nutritional value of the bread with soluble iron.

Ask yourself if bread is healthier than fruits? No need to improve my bread

Use flour made from an unconventional grain e.g. barley, millet, oats, rye, sorghum, maize etc.

Resolve at least one thing here yes or no while baking bread

A system view is more appropriate. This is a dynamic, multi-variate, biological and chemical system. For e.g. conditioning salt % AND yeast % AND water temperature based on ingredient and ambient temps.

Use soda instead of water (clear, orange, yellow, etc. soda is ok. Don’t use a purple/brown soda as that would make it not look good)

Wear a suit while baking the cake.

Encourage people to participate in the market in good faith while making the bread

Replace salt with sugar

Bake the bread into a fun shape, like a fish, or an octagon

Pray to your preferred agricultural/food deity before baking and before eating

Replace 600+/-5g water with 600+/-50g water (eyeball rather than carefully measure)

Strawberry jelly filling

Get your friends to help you make a batch ten times the size, but add a Pepper X (2.7M Scoville heat units) to the mixture

Mail the bread to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington D.C.

Want to improve the value of your bread? Simply bake a piece of gold into it

Ship a piece of the bread to a random person.

Make all of the ingredients from scratch.

Frost it and put sprinkles on it to make it a birthday cake.

Add as many Jack Daniel's whiskey barrel smoking chips as feasible to the Dutch oven before baking, physically separating them from the bread as necessary while baking.

Only buy ingredients from 7/11.

Improve the bread

Quadruple salt

Bake your social security number into it.

Bake one fewer minute

Add caffeine to the bread

Bake the cake while wearing a onesie.

Cook the bread with a rod/puck of aluminum foil (or similar) in the core in an attempt to conduct heat through the center of the bread, cooking it evenly like a doughnut.

Test/filter the water for heavy metals

Eat the bread in front of the White House.

Implement all options that resolved NO

Make the bread inedible then throw it out.

Throw the bread at @realDonaldTrump

Force Feed it to @realDonaldTrump

Cut the bread into the number of traders in the market slices.

make the bread bounce

Implementing every element listed below.

Just make donuts instead

Bake it in an easy bake kids oven

Use lemonade instead of water.

Use a plastic baking sheet.

Eat the bread while betting yes on Cuomo on Manifold

Double oven temperature

Bake the bread very thin and add food coloring to make it have the US flag. Don’t allow it to touch the ground, illuminate at night, fold 13 times properly, and pledge allegiance before eating.

Don’t use usual water (room temperature) for the dough - that water’s only for toilets. Use electrolyte drinks instead with ice cubes; they make the dough taste better and add extra nutrition.

Light it on fire with birthday candles.

Bake it with a microwave

Halve oven temperature

Eat the bread while betting yes on Mamdani on Manifold

Step on it

Give the bread a name in a ritual ceremony and baptise it, with pre-blessed holy water if a priest isn't available

Bring it to Yemen and put a bomb in it

Bake America Great Again

Sacrifice a lamb

Add MAGA and a splash of Trump juice

Bake in a cat and a dog

Explode it:

5 parts cyanide/ 1 part water/ 1 part sand

say 6 7 67 times before making the bread

Take a fat dump in the dough

Sit in dough 24 hrs

Replace flour with flowers

Let dough sit 24 hrs

Mix half sodium/potassium chloride

Add 2g? of baking soda

Bake in rectangular tin

Add 50g vital wheat gluten

double yeast

halve salt

Double salt

Add 2tsp olive oil

Refrigerate dough instead of room temp wait

Start at 500F, drop to 450F and uncover half way through

Do not mix salt and yeast in water together

Autolyse 20 minutes

Let dough rise on counter only until double volume or 2h max, any time longer in fridge

Think positive thoughts before tasting

Put fork in microwave

Don't eat anything for at least 12 hours before eating the bread

Add 2tbsp vanilla extract

Play classical music while baking

Make naan bread, an easy-to-make bread

Add a pinch of sugar

Bake on upside-down sheet pan, covered with Dutch oven

Eat the bread with friends

Bake vegimite into it.

Bake vodka into it

Bake it in the country you were born in.

Let dough sit 48 hrs

Resolve this option YES while eating the bread

Ditch all the steps. Just buy the bread from the supermarket

Eat the bread over the course of a week.

Bake for 5 fewer minutes

Use 50% whole grain flour

Bake the bread with love

Use King Arthur Bread Flour instead of All-Purpose

Add sawdust to increase the volume of the bread (but only like 10% sawdust by volume max. maybe 20% if it's good sawdust)

More steam! Either spritz with more water (preferably hot) or actually pour some boiling water in just before closing the lid.

Resolve this option NO while eating the bread

Incorporate a whole grain flour (buckwheat for example)

Add 50g sugar

Add 50g honey

Swap 200ml water for milk

Cover bread with damp paper towel instead of initial water spritz. Rehydrate paper towel during 2nd spritz. Remove paper towel before placing on cooling rack.

Make a poolish 12 h ahead: 100 g flour + 100 g water + 0.8 g yeast (0.1 %). After it ferments, use this poolish in place of 100 g flour and 100 g water in the final dough.

Add an amount of MSG equivalent to half the current salt content

Eat the bread while sending all your mana to @realDonaldTrump

Add 1/2 cup yogurt to the bread and name the bread “gurt” while addressing it with “yo, gurt”.

Add banana

Add poppy seeds

YES

Jayson Tatum plays at least 100 mins for the Celtics

Celtics make the playoffs

SGA wins MVP

Warriors miss the playoffs

Victor Wembanyama plays at least 58 games

Pistons are first seed in the East

Lakers are a top 3 seed in the Western Conference

SGA has the highest EPM at the end of the season

OKC Thunder win less than 66 games

SGA leads the league in total free throws

At least two 70-point+ games

At least one player averages a 50/40/90 shooting season (at least 64 games)

Knicks are a top 2 seed in the Eastern conference

Jokic finishes top 3 in pts/rebounds/assists (each of, not total)

Alperen Sengun makes an All NBA team

At least 3 coaches are fired before the playoff starts

Rudy Gobert wins DPOY

Chet Holmgren wins DPOY

Sixers make the playoffs

Cooper Flagg outscores Luka's rookie PRA

At least 2 players make at least 300 threes

Austin Reaves wins MIP

James Harden leads the league in assists

Luka wins MVP

Mavericks make the playoffs

Jokic wins MVP

Milwaukee Bucks finish in the play-in spots

Luka averages at least 34.5 ppg

Clippers make the playoffs outright (no play-in)

Thunder win at least 70 games

Thunder break Warriors 73-9 wins record

LeBron plays at least 62 games

Bronny James plays at least 800 minutes

A 2024/2025 first/second team All-NBA player is traded

Anthony Davis plays are least 50 games for the Mavs

Giannis gets traded

YES

YES

Executes a synchronized dance routine.

Completes an agility obstacle course within a set time.

Solves a Rubik's Cube in under 30 seconds.

Shoots and scores from the free-throw line.

Drives a car.

Hits a dartboard bullseye.

Performs CPR on a mannequin/human.

Prepares a gourmet dish.

Replicates a complex origami figure.

Kill a human

Plays a specific song on an instrument accurately after one listening.

Assembles a furniture that hadn't seen, by reading the manual.

YES

YES