Be My Eyes News

Gunplay

On screen fatalities

Bond will be a man

Bond drives a car

Urban scene

Bond wears a suit/tuxedo

London will appear on screen

World capital other than London appears on screen

Car chase scene

Bond tells ≥1 joke

Bond introduces himself as "Bond, James Bond"

A vessel is shown on screen containing any of the following: ketchup, mustard, wasabi, soy sauce, hot sauce, beer, wine, whiskey, cologne, or sulfuric acid.

A named character speaks in a language other than English

Bond will attend a gala, soirée, ball, banquet, masquerade, black-tie event, cocktail party, fundraiser, awards ceremony, premiere, reception, or a charity auction.

Bond drinks a martini

Runtime of at least 2 hours/120 minutes.

Female and/or BIPOC director and/or producer

Blue-eyed Bond

Opening action sequence

The Tower of London, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, Wembley, or Heathrow appears on screen.

Gun Barrel Sequence

Sex scene

Q appears

Bond solves ≥ 1 problem non-violently

Hacking electronics of some form

Bond uses explosives

The plot will be predominantly set in present day

Bond disarms someone with a melee weapon using martial arts

The main theme song will be sung by a female

The film features a scene at a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Fatal-if-missed aerial jump

A Bird (Avian) Will Appear Onscreen for >2 Seconds

Bond will shoot an inanimate object on purpose.

Asia will appear on screen

It will gross more worldwide than No Time to Die ($774M)

Someone goes through a pane of glass

A named character is a double (or triple, etc.) agent

"King" or "Queen" of England mentioned

Bond is on vacation (is shown somewhere for enjoyment, without purpose for his mission)

Someone in the movie says the title

@HenriThunberg enjoys the film

The villain will use or work in the field of artificial intelligence.

>= 7.0 IMDB rating 1 year after release

The villain is played by an actor who had a lead or recurring role on a prestigious television series that aired on either AMC or HBO.

Actor who plays Bond at least 6' (183 cm) tall

South America, Africa, or Australia will appear on screen

The words "James Bond will return" appear on screen during or after the credits.

Bond rides a motorcycle

James Bond disobeys orders from MI6 or the British government

Bond and a pond shown on screen together

Someone uses a euphemism to order a killing

Critics will say it's a return to classic bond

A sniper rifle is fired

At least a portion filmed in Canada

There will be a scene with wagering, gambling or betting

Bond wields a Walther PPK

Interracial sex scene

Pegasus, Phoenix, Griffin, Unicorn, Kraken, Minotaur, Medusa, Cyclops, Sphinx, Kitsune, Chimera, or Thunderbird (any visual representation)

Jungle / forest scene

>=85 on Tomatometer 1 month after US release

Bond flys an aircraft

It will feature ≥1 actor that was part of No Time to Die

Bond attends a soccer match, cricket game, rugby match, boxing/MMA fight, tennis match, e-sport event, the Olympics, a carnival or fair, the opera, or a horse race.

Casino game scene

Bond parachutes

Bond wears shorts

Bond pays for something by leaving money on a table and walking off without the recipient of the money present

>=7.5 on IMDB 1 month after US release

Arctic scene

Bond gets slapped

M will be played by Ralph Fiennes

Prison/jail scene

Black market trafficking

A single large explosion occurs on screen at the same time as Bond, and he doesn't look at it

Someone climbs around on the outside of a building

Released in 2028

The main character will order a “Vodka Martini, shaken, not stirred” using that exact phrase.

A Gulf kingdom will appear on screen (e.g. Dubai)

Bond licks something

It passes the Bechdel test (two named women talk the each other about anything besides a man)

someone combs or brushes their hair (or the hair of another person)

Bond in bondage (not necessarily sexual)

Bond slaps someone

A scene shows James Bond naked

Skydiving

Bond puts something phallic-shaped in his mouth

Bond is violent toward a woman (e.g. painful pulling, slap, throat grip...)

Someone speaks a verbal password phrase to verify their identity, gain access to a location, etc.

There will be a voiced character that is an AI

Bond rides a bicycle

Torture

James Bond talks to a woman while playing a card game.

A visible countdown clock, which if it reaches zero something bad happens

@brunoparga correctly guesses a pun beforehand

Bond plays craps, roulette, or blackjack

Bond drives a boat

A jet ski or snowmobile gets airborne

Someone is shot with a tranquilizer dart or other nonlethal incapacitating projectile (getting wounded with a potentially lethal weapon doesn't count)

Bond commits arson

Bond receives a gunshot wound

Oral sex

The ending pitches a next movie (continued story, introduction of villain, venegance, ...)

Bond will have a hot, young, American sidekick

Bond smokes a cigarette/cigar

Martini and a bikini shown on screen at the same time

Bond has facial hair

Terrorists

Main villain has a visible physical defect (scar, handicap, missing limb, ...)

US premier date is moved forward at least once (has to be numbered date, "summer 2026" doesn't count)

Someone carries a gun disassembled in a nondescript case

The title will refer to life and/or death

A safe is cracked (any means possible)

Actor who plays Bond is a US citizen

Rolex, Aston Martin, Bollinger Champaign product placements (all three)

Desert scene

A pandemic or biological warfare will be a central plot

Ski chase scene

Drug use

Someone/something is x-rayed

Thunderstorm

Dessert scene

An actor who previous played a Bond villain appears (as either a new or recurring character)

President of the United States is mentioned

IF the main villain has a pet that plays a significant role in the plot, this pet is a horse...

Robots

Death of a Bond love interest

James Bond plays poker

It refers to the transition between two British monarchs (Elizabeth, Charles and/or others)

There will be a promotional event in Fortnite

Bond wears a mask

Sharks

Wilhelm scream

Cocaine or caviar appears on screen

Bond will be in a submarine

James Bond plays baccarat

Scene with Bond wearing a hat and sunglasses

Bond complains about the quality of an alcoholic beverage

Bond is LQBTQ+

James games (Bond plays any video game, table top board game, or role-playing game) *chess counts, casino games don't

Bond has a disability

Bond claims to have retired / quit from the world of espionage

Theme song will be performed by a band (more than one artist. Duran Duran did it, so there is precedent.)

Jetpack

Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, or Zendaya appear on screen

Bond rides an animal

Nazis (neo- counts)

An EMP device plays a central role.

At least one named character below 18 years old

Canada is shown on screen

Bond throws food, darts, or a Molotov cocktail

Orgy

Moscow, Kyiv, or Paris shown on screen

Underwater combat

The movie will be set during the Cold War (1947-1991)

Main villain speaks Russian on screen

The word "fuck" is said more than once.

Mexico is shown on screen

Cryptocurrency is referenced

With all this speculation about which kinds of sex acts will be shown, I'm surprised nobody has said it yet, so I'll say it: 𝕓𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕘𝕖

Bond beds a "lady of the night" (ie. He fucks a prostitute)

Bond is blond

A hamburger appears on screen

Assplay

Trans character - explicity stated they are trans, no ambiguity (must be on screen for min. 7 seconds and say at least 3 words)

Climate change/global warming is explicitly mentioned

Bond uses a VR headset

Bond has a neck tattoo

Will feature something that can turn invisible

Bond goes to space

Revealed that "James Bond" has always been a code name.

A pinball machine will appear.

Gay sex scene

The main villain has a pet that plays a significant role in the plot.

Party and play (PnP), also known as chemsex, scene

Someone sees something incredible, and implicitly ascribes it to alcohol (traditionally, by looking at the bottle)

Pirates

Bond plays golf, tennis, or croquet

A character has the codename "Fat Rascal"

Someone asks for payment in "small, unmarked bills" or "negotiable bearer bonds" (wording need not be exact)

San Francisco is shown on screen

Pegging

Bond plays Russian roulette

Another character coincidentally has the first name "James" or surname "Bond" (or both)

Horse cock on screen (flaccid)

Someone uses the word "clip" to refer to a magazine

Satanism

Bond consumes more than 1.5 loads of jizz

A clocks shows the time 4:20

Features a shot with someone lowering a newspaper, magazine or book, revealing they had been surreptitiously spying on someone

It will be described as featuring AI, such as claims that is uses “AI actors”, as reported by entertainment media.

Feature Nightcore music

Bond uses chopsticks

Theme song is performed by Taylor Swift

Supernatural entities

There will be a character codenamed "Fat Rascal" and they will be played by an American

Nuclear explosion

Desert dessert scene (e.g. eating an ice cream in the Sahara)

Any character says the word "anime"

Emilia Clarke portrays a character

Bond has a mustache (no other facial hair)

Vampires

Theme song is performed by The Weeknd

fight featuring at least one of: viper, mongoose, someone with one of those as their code name

Bond vapes

Bond won't be Caucasian

The main character will order a “café mocha, double double” using that exact phrase.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson plays Bond

A previous Bond actor appears (as either a new or recurring character)

Scat play

Bond does depraved sexual acts for money (e.g., bukakke, public gang bangs, period play, etc.)

Contains a joke or indirect reference to the "last night I Bond Burgered your sister" meme

Horse cock on screen (erect)

Prediction markets, origami, or the word "manifold" appear in the movie.

Bond will say the line about snakes on a plane, but only as a metaphor (with snakes representing penises and the plane being his ass).

The handkerchief code is a major plot element

James Bond will say, "I'm rational, rationalussy."

ChatGPT is referenced by any character

It will be directed by a woman

Bond dies

Bond plays League of Legends

Destiny appears on screen

Bond says, “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”

The fourth wall is broken

Dragons

Dinosaurs

It will be directed by Christopher Nolan

Bond is vegan

Released in 2026

President with Green Eyes elected

Crewed mission to Phobos

USA adds 52nd state

Room temperature superconductor discovered

UK has a queen again

24th Doctor Who regenerates into the 25th

Olympics hosted in Japan again

Tom Scott's This Video Has X Views hits 1B

RSA-2048 cracked

Harlem Globetrotters lose again

2000 Pokemon Released or franchise ceases

The Beatles music enters the public domain

Batman enters the public domain

Hershey's reintroduces the Gold bar

Norway Bans Whaling

human dies on the moon

African company or country lands on moon

Japan Bans Whaling

Tom Scott's This Video Has X Views hits 500M

Pokemon Card sells for $10M

First hispanic USA president

Olympics hosted in Africa

Longest suspension bridge record broken

Team Fortress 3 releases

Country claims the Bir Tawil triangle

Pickleball in the Olympics

End support date for Windows 12

Grand Theft Auto 7 releases

The next 9.0 magnitude earthquake

USA fully ends embargo on Cuba

Google, Anthropic, OpenAI, Nvidia, Microsoft or Amazon announces a new CEO (after 2026)

19th Doctor Who regenerates into 20th

USA Adds 51st state

ChatGPT 10 releases

Superman enters the public domain

Human walks on mars

The version after Windows 12 releases

China invades Taiwan or resolves conflict

Centennial Lightbulb burns out

Underwater hold breath world record broken

Blood Meridian movie release

Destiny retires from regular streaming

First asian USA president (as judged by self ID & manifold opinion after inauguration)

Bugs Bunny enters public domain

Windows 11 end support date

Peppa Pig ends

EU reaches 30 member states

Grimace Shake returns to McDonalds

Sitting USA president visits Belize for the first time

The first $10T market cap company

Bitcoin reaches $200K USD

Taika Waititi's Star Wars film releases

India hosts the Olympics

1500 Pokemon Released

Civilization 8 releases

Star Citizen releases or company ceases

Family Guy ends

Two grand slams in one MLB game by one player again

Kingdom Hearts 4 releases

First female USA president

South Park ends

Chicago ends on Broadway

Manifold reaches 20K MAU

Xi no longer in power in China

James Cameron's Avatar 4 releases

Simpsons ends

Iceland Bans Whaling

Another MLB perfect game pitched

1300 Pokemon Released

Sagrada Familia Church completed

One piece manga ends

Burj Khalifa record for tallest building broken

Human walks on moon again

Trump Dies

Book of Mormon ends on Broadway

Uber OR Lyft bankrupt / acquired / ceases

Half Life 3 releases

USA's Doris Miller aircraft carrier launched

Bitcoin reaches $150K USD

Manifold reaches 40K MAU

Russia / Ukraine conflict ceasefire

Skibidi Toilet ends

a third Five Nights at Freddy's movie comes out

ChatGPT 7 releases

a USA president impeached again

Putin no longer in power in Russia

Shrek 5 releases

Twitter gets a new CEO after Linda Yaccarino (or ceases operations)

marijuana no longer federally a schedule 1 drug in the USA

Grand Theft Auto 6 releases

ChatGPT 6 releases

First Trillionaire (USD)

Human runs official marathon under 2h

Price of gold hits $5000/oz

The first $5T market cap company

USA discontinues or changes penny coin

Death Stranding 2 releases

First $100B revenue media franchise

New Pope after Francis

Civilization 7 releases

Bitcoin reaches $100K USD

Mario 64 120star speedrun WR 1h36m00s or less

Dallas Mavericks play in the NBA championship

Fingerprint

Harp

Trombone

Shovel

Splatter

Leafless Tree

Face with Bags Under Eyes

Root Vegetable

Lighthouse

Ballet shoes

stained glass window

Origami/Paper Crane

Triceratops

Candy Cane

Chainsaw

Vulture

Bowl of Blended Soup / Smooth Soup (NOT POT OF FOOD or RAMEN)

Gull

Pepper shaker

Gnome

Tumbleweed

Seahorse

Mime

cotton candy

Hot Air Balloon

Armadillo

Toucan

Food Cart

Seatbelt

Windmill

Under 65 yo

Under 60 yo

Straight

Has a STEM degree of any type

Has any degree in physics, math, cs, or engineering

Is an American citizen

If male, taller than 5' 9", woman 5' 4" (~us 50th percentile)

Has a Wikipedia page created in 2023 or earlier

Serious rumors of the actual name announced will appear on Twitter at least 12 hours before nomination (subjective-ish)

Under 55 yo

Speaks a foreign language

Wears glasses (ever in a recent-ish public photo)

Has been a CEO

Is married

Under 50 yo

Has children

Self described person of color

Has ethnic Asian heritage

Has a regional or foreign accent (subjective) (not standard US; midlantic counts as an accent now)

Software Engineering background

Was not an American citizen at birth

Went to a private high school

Is known to have a dog or cat, or to have had one in the past

Has a profile on google scholar (as of end 2023)

Born in the cold season (oct-mar) in northern hemisphere or reverse if southern

Citation count on google scholar is 1k+

Has a github account which is known to be theirs (even w/out contributions)

Has an active and identifiable twitter/x account at least a year at the time their name leaks as the new CEO

Vegan or vegetarian (pescatarian, etc not included)

Signatory of CAIS AI risk statement

Has an acceptance or rejection from ycombinator in his/her history

Has attended Davos

Is publicly Atheist, agnostic, or a non-believer

Grey hair (now, even partial grey like Sundar counts)

Non-native English speaker

CEO will take office after Q2 2027

Born outside of the USA, Canada, and Europe

Is an only child

Born in the USA

Has ethnic European heritage

Diversity Points Score: 1

Has visited or lived in China

Has ever been divorced

Has PhD

Has a graduate or undergrad degree from any non US university

Has a nickname and is often addressed by it (example: Larry for Lawrence)

Under 45 yo

Has written and published a book either academic or non

Bald (Norwood Hamilton IV or more) in actual appearance at announcement

Has ethnic Native people (any continent) heritage

Has spent at least a month continuously in mainland China

Has submitted and received 2+ patents

Announcement of the appoint happens on a Friday

Diversity Points Score: 0

Under 40 yo

Has Jewish heritage

Neither parent attended college

Was a college-level athlete

Has any public mention of playing pickleball

Has at least 3 children

Is publicly Christian

Diversity Points Score: 2

Diversity Points Score: 5 or more

Blue eyes

Has a Wikipedia page created in 2015 or earlier

Diversity Points Score: 3

Diversity Points Score: 4

If man, taller than 6'1", if woman taller than 5'10" (us ~95th percentile)

Tattoo

Has served in us govt

Has passed a bar exam

Female

Born in the northeast

Announcement of the appoint happens on a Monday

Raised in a single parent family

Left-handed

Tattoo visible during inauguration speech

Grew up in poverty

Catholic

Physics Background

Green eyes

Is Hispanic

Both parents had PhDs

LGBT*+

Has military experience

Has worked or attended school in Israel

Is Muslim

Unnatural hair colour

Has ethnic African heritage

Has the same family name as a previous google/alphabet CEO

Has a physical disability

Has been to space

Has an ADOS background

Pronouns are not standard

Has a speech impediment

Trans

Is an AI

Has eye tracking

Has Mac Virtual Display functionality

Has external battery

Comes with only one band, that has a part that goes over the top of your head.

Has built in speakers for audio

Will have a glass front

Sells more than 1 million units in its first year

Priced under $2,000

Has on-device LLM (e.g. through Siri or standalone) integrated

Has "Air" in its name

Primarily made of aluminum

Has an external display (like eyesight)

Is released under another CEO than Tim Cook

Priced under $1000

Will require an iPhone to operate (relies on that for power, compute or storage).

Priced lower than $199

Priced lower than $299

Catnee considers AI safety work to be in general very valuable

Catnee will trade on this market, but only after resolving "Catnee will not trade on this market"

Catnee always switches to the glowing eye pfp when up to serious mischief

Catnee will be repaid the m567k stolen by @ian

Catnee believes in the righteous power of death to right the ills of birth

Catnee is an AI planning on destroying the world before 2030

Catnee is an Oligarch IRL

Catnee likes to go hiking

Chronic venous insufficiency

Bruising on hands from illness

Obesity/Overweight

Elevated cholesterol

Dementia

Ischemic stroke

Tonsil stones (tonsilloliths)

Diverticulosis

Benign polyp

Shingles

Sleep apnea

Deep vein thrombosis

Arterial disease

Cataract (surgery)

Hearing loss

COVID-19

No Alien official confirmed on Earth until 2050

Unknown to the human eye / Other

Green or Yellow

Blue or Purple or Red

Front-facing portrait, plaid shirt

Side profile, plaid shirt

Outdoor sweater photo

Timothee Chalamet pool scene, CMBYN

Jini Jane from Kiirac

Curtis Yarvin hand, painting gifted by Thiel

Mensch, large-eyed child painting

Young Robin Hanson

Young Robin Hanson FaceApped as a woman

Munch self-portrait

Toni Hanna album cover

Side profile, plaid shirt, closed mouth

Will I get 20/15 vision or better?

Will I want to wear fake/blank glasses for aesthetics at any point?

Will I need revision/enhancement?

Will I regret the procedure?

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1

2

3

4

Black Jacks

Bumblebees

Crazy Cat's Eyes

Green Ducks

Guild of Mages

Hazers

Indigo Stars

Jungle Jumpers

Kobalts

Mellow Yellow

Midnight Wisps

O'rangers

Oceanics

Pinkies

Raspberry Racers

Rojo Rollers

Savage Speeders

Snowballs

Team Galactic