Be My Eyes News

The Jews control at least one nation's government

The P320 pistol has a design flaw allowing it to fire without pulling the trigger

Orgies by the fucked-up poors as portrayed in "Eyes Wide Shut XXX" (2013)

Santa is rigged

Orgies by the wealthy elite as portrayed in 'Eyes Wide Shut'.

Dream faked the Manhunt videos

DHMO in the water supply

The UK security services are complicit in the coverup of a significant underage sex scandal closely linked to the monarchy, taking place in the UK in the period 1975-2015

Osama bin Laden didn't act alone

Imane Khelif is intersex

That motherfucker WAS real (Tiffany Gomas was wrong the whole time)

√-1 isn't real

Smartphones listen in on private conversations

The Trump regime intentionally sabotaged the electoral process to stay in power

The 1% promoted culture wars to distract from class war

US security services use the Google Play Store as an attack vector for android devices

Some answers in this market are psyops to discredit all the others

The CCP is directly supporting drug cartel activity in the West

Trump committed sex offenses against minors on Epstein Island

Lionel Messi never played for a Real football (soccer) team

ASI will converge on agreeing (90%+ credence) that the Self-Indication Assumption is true.

Smart devices are almost always listening to your private conversations

At least 3 of the members elected to the French lower house of Parliament in 2024 are Russian agents

Ticketmaster is in cahoots with organized scalpers

Some answers in this market are bought NO because they are true

Groundhog Day is rigged

Atrazine works as an endocrine-disrupting chemical (EDC), converting testosterone to estrogen in the bodies of frogs leading to homosexual proclivities.

The CCP has a plan to exterminate a large number of people they consider to not be ethnically Chinese

That stock trading AI supposedly built by @SteveSokolowski is actually part of an elaborate scam

Dead Internet theory

The US, UK and French security services have collectively assassinated at least 10 German citizens in Germany since 2022

Joe/Hunter Biden took bribe to protect Burisma from investigation

Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself

There are devices which have been used to alter the electric network frequency of a country in the Middle East to leave more identifiable traces in recorded video and audio clips

Airplane trails have toxic chemicals (chemtrails)

Tiffany Gomas is not the same person as the TMINR lady in the video. She is a PSYOP for Barstool.

US security services asked Microsoft to buy Skype and alter the software so they could target users more easily

John McAfee didn't kill himself

Annie Altman's abuse claims

Gamergate was right

South Korea has had nuclear weapons since 2023

The Church and elites deliberately suppressed and distorted the more Gnostic message of Jesus Christ.

Members of US government had prior knowledge of 9/11 and let it happen

An adversary is intentionally causing hysteria over drone incidents to force the US/UK's hand into revealing their anti-drone tech

The NBA rigs the draft lottery

The Clintons assasinated their rivals

The Romance languages are not descended from Classical Latin

The Obamas have a loveless marriage, kept together for optics only

Youssoufa Moukoko (soccer player) was born earlier than he claims (earlier than 2004)

Germany has a well-prepared plan (in 2024-) to start mass producing nuclear weapons in <6 months (in case things go bad geopolitically)

Mossad releases video and audio clips, intended to be of interest to their adversaries, which play special sounds that humans don't notice

FDR deliberately left Pearl Harbor vulnerable, in order to goad Americans into war

China made covid 19 in a lab

Bitcoin was created by a US three letter agency

This one makes me feel evil, so I ROT13'd it, use ROT13 to decode if you want to keep me company in Hell: Ybh Truevt'f ergverzrag jnf npghnyyl na ZYO-znaqngrq fhfcrafvba

Eliezer wrote The Erogamer

The US/UK/French security services are sinking Russian ships in response to attacks on undersea cables and other hybrid warfare activities (since 2022)

Deepwater Horizon explosion due to sabotage

Major deaths, terror, and tragedy events are routinely hoaxes per Miles Mathis.

Rory Stewart worked for MI6

At least one UN recognised country is secretly controlled by a cabal following a religion shared by <5% of the country's population

My dog went to live on farm that was full of other dogs that he could run with and play with and he was much happier than staying with us and peeing on the rug.

Eating your veggies is bad for your health

Bielefeld does not exist, but another city with the same name in the same place does

The article "Deliberate Errors" documenting winks connecting Apollo and Kubrick films is correct, because Kubrick played a role in filming some of the Apollo missions.

Lee Harvey Oswald didn't act alone.

The hellenistic civilization was aware of the existence of the American continent

As of June 2025, JD Vance is secretly making plans to use future ASI to sieze power and become eternal world dictator

China was not genociding Uyghurs

@strutheo is @notrickspringfield

The New Zealand government had advance knowledge of the sinking of the Rainbow Warrior

Covid was a deliberate test of pandemic preparedness in view of bacteriological war between China and the US

Epstein was alive as of Jan 2026, but dead in the meantime since his "suicide"

Charles Manson had a rib removed in the late 1990s

Michael Jordan's first NBA retirement was actually a forced suspension.

The U.S. military is the number one customer of Glitterex (a glitter company) but doesn't want anyone to know because it hurts their masculine image.

Hellenistic science developed statistical mechanics to the point of being able to derive PV=nRT

The 1% promoted class war to distract from culture wars

lɐǝɹ ʇ,usᴉ ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀

The American govt is actually a totalitarian dictatorship

Aluminum cookware actually *does* cause Alzheimers.

A pharma company has a much better treatment for cancer that they are keeping secret because it would compete with their existing products

Hellenistic scientists could derive the correct refraction law by minimizing light travel time

Marilyn Manson had a rib removed in the late 1990s

Jeffrey Epstein is still alive

Many vaccines on the standard CDC childhood immunization schedule have serious negative side effects (net negative on health) for at least 5% of the population.

The CIA killed JFK

COVID-19 vaccine is net negative for health

Non-human intelligence affecting events on Earth is not extraterrestrial "aliens," and humans are incorrect in believing that reality consists only of the Universe.

The Hellenistic civilization was aware of the existence of Azeroth

Sue Gray was a spy

Dominic Cummings was/is a Russian spy

We live in an ancestor simulation per Nick Bostrom.

A cure for cancer has already been found

covid-19 vaccine is net negative for health for people who are under 35, with no aggravating condition, and not obese

The 9/11 terror attack date is meaningfully connected to Ernest Martin's theory that Jesus was born on September 11, 3 BC rather than a coincidence.

Ogopogo and the Yeti faked their relationship (to boost CFL ratings, to increase Taylor Swift's movie sales, support Trudeau's reelection, b/c Ogopogo is PSY, etc.)

The Hawk Tuah meme is a North Korean psyop

Finno-Korean Hyperwar was real

Covid 19 was made in a labradoodle

Trump and Netanyahu had Charlie Kirk killed to take control of TPUSA

"Geoterrorism" (weather modification for terrorism) is real as of 2024

Princess Diana was assassinated

The NFL is rigged

Hellenistic science advanced meta-thermodynamics to derive 𝑄 = 𝑛𝐶Δ𝑇(1 + 𝐻⊙⋆) using the Holtzman Generator

Harold Holt murdered

ASI will converge on agreeing (90%+ credence) that Trump/Musk model the first/second beast of Revelation.

Jet fuel *can* melt steel beams, but the official 9/11 narrative is sus because chemtrail chemicals cannot

Bitcoin was created by a 3 letter Hellenistic agency

Biden and/or US govt did Jan 6 (exclude trump)

Bush did 9/11

Shakespeare didn’t write his own plays

The NBA rigged Shaq's free throws

Tom Brady's retirement was actually an NFL mandated suspension

Israel killed JFK

The pharma industry has a better version of Viagra that they keep secret to keep their profits up

Hellenistic scientists could derive the correct warp-induced refraction law by exceeding Warp Factor 9 under Cochrane’s Theorem

Circa 1920 civilizational collapse (c.f. "Whither Tartaria?")

The 2020 US presidential election was rigged/stolen

Ogopogo is real

QAnon

Exercise is bad for your health

A support network of close friendships is bad for your health

Skin cancer is caused by a lack of melanin, regardless of sunlight exposure

Elon Musk used Starlink to rig the 2024 election

Shakespeare is not real - they claim he was married to Anne Hathaway but she's like only 40 or so

carbon dioxide isn't the main cause of global warming

Allen Iverson invented A.I.

The government iodizes the water and fluoridates salt when it should be the other way around

Chinese people really *are* just saying the n-word.

Hellenistic science knew of quantum mechanics

Epstein was still alive as of Jan 2026

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce faked their relationship (to boost NFL ratings, to increase Tay's movie sales, legitimize mRNA vaccines, b/c she is a PSYOP, etc.)

QR codes are satanic

The Mandella Effect in general is real

The Hellenistic civilization invented USB

Mossad uses Hellenistic technology borrowed from the North Sentinelese

Xi Jinping had advance knowledge of the Hawk Tuah meme

Trump devolved the government in anticipation of 2020 election fraud and replaced Biden with an actor wearing a mask.

China purposely spread covid 19 having intended it to escape the lab

Human didnt evolve from apes

You personally live in Truman Show style captivity

Getting 8 hours of sleep is bad for your health

Rationalussy isn't real.

Hitler killed himself because the alternative was going to Argentina

Jerry Sandusky is innocent.

Skin cancer is caused by sunblock, not sunlight

Lee Harvey Oswald was an agent of the Hellenistic Civilization

Famous Israeli agent Eisseberg was behind the sinking of the Titanic

The illuminati runs the world

xkcd 690: on 9/11, one of the towers was hit by a plane and the other was a controlled demolition

@HenriThunberg was paid to create the James Bond market to promote the upcoming movie

Marilyn Monroe had a rib removed in the late 1990s

Effective Altruism is a scam and they just embezzle all the donations

US government is harboring aliens

Tupac is still alive in 2024

Bielefeld does not exist

Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen, and they made the movie Frozen so that when people googled 'Walt Disney Frozen' the movie would come up first

The Hellenistic Civilization made COVID-19 in a lab

South Sudan has had nukes since 2023

The North Sentinelese have a secret aircraft carrier

The North Sentinelese have a non-secret aircraft carrier, they have announced it to the world loud and clear. Problem is: nobody speaks their language.

Monica Lewinsky was a Mossad agent

Birds aren't real

climate change isn't human caused

Tiger Woods is a militant separatist Tamil

Hurricane Katrina caused by HAARP

Climate change isn’t real

The moon landing was fake

The CIA killed Tupac, and JFK is still alive as of 2024

The Romance languages are not descended from Latin

The North Sentinelese are remnants of the Hellenistic civilization

The 9/11 terror attack was a justified false flag to secure a weapon of mass destruction (destabalizing religious text and/or supertechnology) at the tomb of Gilgamesh.

Yeti is real or similar creature

Hitler didn't kill himself he went to Argentina

*All* health care is net negative for health

Q is Putin

Michelle Obama is a man

Brazilian money is not real

The earth is a dodecahedron

End of the world in 2012

Skibidi Toilet is real

Earth is hollow

It used to be spelled Berenstein Bears

Africa isn't real

Flossing is bad for your health

HIV doesn’t cause AIDS

Christiano Ronaldo never played for a Real football (soccer) team

There is no female orgasm

The North Sentinelese are concealing super-advanced technology.

The earth is flat

*All* vaccines are net negative for health

Justin Trudeau is actually Black and has been wearing "whiteface" all along.

Finland isn't real

Australia isn't real.

5G will kill all vaccinated people once the towers are switched on

Nuclear weapons have never existed

Brushing your teeth is bad for your health

Taylor Swift and Mary Berg are the same person

The Epcot sphere was built by aliens as some sort of energy device powering the rat empire.

Gunplay

Bond will be a man

Bond drives a car

Bond wears a suit/tuxedo

On screen fatalities

London will appear on screen

Car chase scene

Urban scene

Bond tells ≥1 joke

Blue-eyed Bond

Bond introduces himself as "Bond, James Bond"

World capital other than London appears on screen

A vessel is shown on screen containing any of the following: ketchup, mustard, wasabi, soy sauce, hot sauce, beer, wine, whiskey, cologne, or sulfuric acid.

A named character speaks in a language other than English

Bond will attend a gala, soirée, ball, banquet, masquerade, black-tie event, cocktail party, fundraiser, awards ceremony, premiere, reception, or a charity auction.

Bond drinks a martini

Runtime of at least 2 hours/120 minutes.

Female and/or BIPOC director and/or producer

Opening action sequence

The Tower of London, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, Wembley, or Heathrow appears on screen.

Gun Barrel Sequence

Sex scene

Q appears

Bond solves ≥ 1 problem non-violently

Hacking electronics of some form

Bond uses explosives

The plot will be predominantly set in present day

Bond disarms someone with a melee weapon using martial arts

The main theme song will be sung by a female

The film features a scene at a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Fatal-if-missed aerial jump

A Bird (Avian) Will Appear Onscreen for >2 Seconds

Bond will shoot an inanimate object on purpose.

Asia will appear on screen

It will gross more worldwide than No Time to Die ($774M)

Someone goes through a pane of glass

A named character is a double (or triple, etc.) agent

"King" or "Queen" of England mentioned

Bond is on vacation (is shown somewhere for enjoyment, without purpose for his mission)

Someone in the movie says the title

@HenriThunberg enjoys the film

It will feature ≥1 actor that was part of No Time to Die

The villain will use or work in the field of artificial intelligence.

>= 7.0 IMDB rating 1 year after release

The villain is played by an actor who had a lead or recurring role on a prestigious television series that aired on either AMC or HBO.

Actor who plays Bond at least 6' (183 cm) tall

South America, Africa, or Australia will appear on screen

The words "James Bond will return" appear on screen during or after the credits.

Bond rides a motorcycle

>=85 on Tomatometer 1 month after US release

Critics will say it's a return to classic bond

A sniper rifle is fired

At least a portion filmed in Canada

There will be a scene with wagering, gambling or betting

Bond wields a Walther PPK

Interracial sex scene

Pegasus, Phoenix, Griffin, Unicorn, Kraken, Minotaur, Medusa, Cyclops, Sphinx, Kitsune, Chimera, or Thunderbird (any visual representation)

Jungle / forest scene

Bond flys an aircraft

James Bond disobeys orders from MI6 or the British government

Bond attends a soccer match, cricket game, rugby match, boxing/MMA fight, tennis match, e-sport event, the Olympics, a carnival or fair, the opera, or a horse race.

Casino game scene

Bond parachutes

It passes the Bechdel test (two named women talk the each other about anything besides a man)

Bond wears shorts

Bond pays for something by leaving money on a table and walking off without the recipient of the money present

>=7.5 on IMDB 1 month after US release

Arctic scene

Someone uses a euphemism to order a killing

Bond gets slapped

M will be played by Ralph Fiennes

Prison/jail scene

Black market trafficking

A single large explosion occurs on screen at the same time as Bond, and he doesn't look at it

Someone climbs around on the outside of a building

Released in 2028

Skydiving

The main character will order a “Vodka Martini, shaken, not stirred” using that exact phrase.

A Gulf kingdom will appear on screen (e.g. Dubai)

Bond licks something

Bond and a pond shown on screen together

someone combs or brushes their hair (or the hair of another person)

Bond in bondage (not necessarily sexual)

Bond slaps someone

A scene shows James Bond naked

Bond puts something phallic-shaped in his mouth

Bond is violent toward a woman (e.g. painful pulling, slap, throat grip...)

Someone speaks a verbal password phrase to verify their identity, gain access to a location, etc.

There will be a voiced character that is an AI

Bond rides a bicycle

Torture

James Bond talks to a woman while playing a card game.

Bond receives a gunshot wound

A visible countdown clock, which if it reaches zero something bad happens

Wilhelm scream

Main villain has a visible physical defect (scar, handicap, missing limb, ...)

The title will refer to life and/or death

@brunoparga correctly guesses a pun beforehand

Bond plays craps, roulette, or blackjack

Bond drives a boat

A jet ski or snowmobile gets airborne

Someone is shot with a tranquilizer dart or other nonlethal incapacitating projectile (getting wounded with a potentially lethal weapon doesn't count)

James Bond plays poker

Bond commits arson

Oral sex

Bond smokes a cigarette/cigar

Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, or Zendaya appear on screen

Martini and a bikini shown on screen at the same time

Bond has facial hair

Terrorists

US premier date is moved forward at least once (has to be numbered date, "summer 2026" doesn't count)

Someone carries a gun disassembled in a nondescript case

A safe is cracked (any means possible)

Actor who plays Bond is a US citizen

Rolex, Aston Martin, Bollinger Champaign product placements (all three)

Desert scene

The ending pitches a next movie (continued story, introduction of villain, venegance, ...)

A pandemic or biological warfare will be a central plot

Ski chase scene

Drug use

Someone/something is x-rayed

Thunderstorm

Dessert scene

An actor who previous played a Bond villain appears (as either a new or recurring character)

President of the United States is mentioned

IF the main villain has a pet that plays a significant role in the plot, this pet is a horse...

Robots

Death of a Bond love interest

It refers to the transition between two British monarchs (Elizabeth, Charles and/or others)

Bond will have a hot, young, American sidekick

Theme song will be performed by a band (more than one artist. Duran Duran did it, so there is precedent.)

There will be a promotional event in Fortnite

Bond throws food, darts, or a Molotov cocktail

Bond wears a mask

Sharks

Cocaine or caviar appears on screen

Bond will be in a submarine

James Bond plays baccarat

Scene with Bond wearing a hat and sunglasses

Cryptocurrency is referenced

Bond complains about the quality of an alcoholic beverage

Bond is LQBTQ+

James games (Bond plays any video game, table top board game, or role-playing game) *chess counts, casino games don't

Main villain speaks Russian on screen

Bond has a disability

Bond plays golf, tennis, or croquet

Bond claims to have retired / quit from the world of espionage

Mexico is shown on screen

Jetpack

The movie will be set during the Cold War (1947-1991)

Bond rides an animal

Nazis (neo- counts)

An EMP device plays a central role.

Climate change/global warming is explicitly mentioned

At least one named character below 18 years old

Canada is shown on screen

Orgy

Will feature something that can turn invisible

Moscow, Kyiv, or Paris shown on screen

Underwater combat

Bond goes to space

The word "fuck" is said more than once.

With all this speculation about which kinds of sex acts will be shown, I'm surprised nobody has said it yet, so I'll say it: 𝕓𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕘𝕖

Bond beds a "lady of the night" (ie. He fucks a prostitute)

Bond is blond

Features a shot with someone lowering a newspaper, magazine or book, revealing they had been surreptitiously spying on someone

Someone sees something incredible, and implicitly ascribes it to alcohol (traditionally, by looking at the bottle)

A hamburger appears on screen

Theme song is performed by Taylor Swift

A previous Bond actor appears (as either a new or recurring character)

Assplay

Trans character - explicity stated they are trans, no ambiguity (must be on screen for min. 7 seconds and say at least 3 words)

Bond plays Russian roulette

Bond uses a VR headset

Bond has a neck tattoo

Aaron Taylor-Johnson plays Bond

The main villain has a pet that plays a significant role in the plot.

Revealed that "James Bond" has always been a code name.

fight featuring at least one of: viper, mongoose, someone with one of those as their code name

A pinball machine will appear.

Gay sex scene

Party and play (PnP), also known as chemsex, scene

Pirates

Emilia Clarke portrays a character

A character has the codename "Fat Rascal"

Someone asks for payment in "small, unmarked bills" or "negotiable bearer bonds" (wording need not be exact)

Theme song is performed by The Weeknd

San Francisco is shown on screen

Pegging

Another character coincidentally has the first name "James" or surname "Bond" (or both)

Horse cock on screen (flaccid)

Someone uses the word "clip" to refer to a magazine

Satanism

Bond consumes more than 1.5 loads of jizz

A clocks shows the time 4:20

It will be described as featuring AI, such as claims that is uses “AI actors”, as reported by entertainment media.

Feature Nightcore music

Bond uses chopsticks

Supernatural entities

There will be a character codenamed "Fat Rascal" and they will be played by an American

ChatGPT is referenced by any character

Released in 2026

Nuclear explosion

Desert dessert scene (e.g. eating an ice cream in the Sahara)

Any character says the word "anime"

Bond has a mustache (no other facial hair)

Vampires

Bond vapes

Bond won't be Caucasian

The main character will order a “café mocha, double double” using that exact phrase.

Bond dies

Scat play

Bond does depraved sexual acts for money (e.g., bukakke, public gang bangs, period play, etc.)

Contains a joke or indirect reference to the "last night I Bond Burgered your sister" meme

Horse cock on screen (erect)

Prediction markets, origami, or the word "manifold" appear in the movie.

Bond will say the line about snakes on a plane, but only as a metaphor (with snakes representing penises and the plane being his ass).

The handkerchief code is a major plot element

James Bond will say, "I'm rational, rationalussy."

Bond is vegan

The fourth wall is broken

It will be directed by a woman

Bond plays League of Legends

Destiny appears on screen

Bond says, “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”

Dragons

Dinosaurs

It will be directed by Christopher Nolan

President with Green Eyes elected

Crewed mission to Phobos

USA adds 52nd state

Room temperature superconductor discovered

UK has a queen again

24th Doctor Who regenerates into the 25th

Olympics hosted in Japan again

Tom Scott's This Video Has X Views hits 1B

RSA-2048 cracked

ChatGPT 10 releases

Harlem Globetrotters lose again

2000 Pokemon Released or franchise ceases

Batman enters the public domain

The Beatles music enters the public domain

Hershey's reintroduces the Gold bar

Norway Bans Whaling

African company or country lands on moon

human dies on the moon

Japan Bans Whaling

Tom Scott's This Video Has X Views hits 500M

Pokemon Card sells for $10M

First hispanic USA president

Olympics hosted in Africa

Longest suspension bridge record broken

Pickleball in the Olympics

Team Fortress 3 releases

Country claims the Bir Tawil triangle

End support date for Windows 12

Grand Theft Auto 7 releases

USA fully ends embargo on Cuba

The next 9.0 magnitude earthquake

Google, Anthropic, OpenAI, Nvidia, Microsoft or Amazon announces a new CEO (after 2026)

19th Doctor Who regenerates into 20th

USA Adds 51st state

Superman enters the public domain

Iceland Bans Whaling

Human walks on mars

The version after Windows 12 releases

China invades Taiwan or resolves conflict

Centennial Lightbulb burns out

Underwater hold breath world record broken

Blood Meridian movie release

Destiny retires from regular streaming

First asian USA president (as judged by self ID & manifold opinion after inauguration)

Bugs Bunny enters public domain

Windows 11 end support date

Grimace Shake returns to McDonalds

Sitting USA president visits Belize for the first time

Peppa Pig ends

EU reaches 30 member states

The first $10T market cap company

Bitcoin reaches $200K USD

Taika Waititi's Star Wars film releases

India hosts the Olympics

1500 Pokemon Released

Star Citizen releases or company ceases

Family Guy ends

Civilization 8 releases

Kingdom Hearts 4 releases

First female USA president

Two grand slams in one MLB game by one player again

South Park ends

Manifold reaches 20K MAU

Chicago ends on Broadway

Simpsons ends

Xi no longer in power in China

James Cameron's Avatar 4 releases

Another MLB perfect game pitched

Sagrada Familia Church completed

Burj Khalifa record for tallest building broken

1300 Pokemon Released

ChatGPT 7 releases

One piece manga ends

Trump Dies

Human walks on moon again

Half Life 3 releases

Book of Mormon ends on Broadway

Uber OR Lyft bankrupt / acquired / ceases

Manifold reaches 40K MAU

USA's Doris Miller aircraft carrier launched

Bitcoin reaches $150K USD

a USA president impeached again

Skibidi Toilet ends

a third Five Nights at Freddy's movie comes out

Putin no longer in power in Russia

Russia / Ukraine conflict ceasefire

Shrek 5 releases

Twitter gets a new CEO after Linda Yaccarino (or ceases operations)

marijuana no longer federally a schedule 1 drug in the USA

Grand Theft Auto 6 releases

ChatGPT 6 releases

First Trillionaire (USD)

Human runs official marathon under 2h

Price of gold hits $5000/oz

The first $5T market cap company

USA discontinues or changes penny coin

Death Stranding 2 releases

First $100B revenue media franchise

New Pope after Francis

Civilization 7 releases

Bitcoin reaches $100K USD

Mario 64 120star speedrun WR 1h36m00s or less

Dallas Mavericks play in the NBA championship

Fingerprint

Harp

Trombone

Shovel

Splatter

Leafless Tree

Face with Bags Under Eyes

Root Vegetable

Lighthouse

Ballet shoes

Gnome

Origami/Paper Crane

Bowl of Blended Soup / Smooth Soup (NOT POT OF FOOD or RAMEN)

stained glass window

Chainsaw

Triceratops

Candy Cane

Vulture

Gull

Pepper shaker

Tumbleweed

Seahorse

Mime

cotton candy

Hot Air Balloon

Armadillo

Toucan

Food Cart

Seatbelt

Windmill

Under 65 yo

Under 60 yo

Straight

Has a STEM degree of any type

Has any degree in physics, math, cs, or engineering

Is an American citizen

If male, taller than 5' 9", woman 5' 4" (~us 50th percentile)

Has a Wikipedia page created in 2023 or earlier

Serious rumors of the actual name announced will appear on Twitter at least 12 hours before nomination (subjective-ish)

Under 55 yo

Speaks a foreign language

Wears glasses (ever in a recent-ish public photo)

Has been a CEO

Is married

Under 50 yo

Has children

Self described person of color

Has ethnic Asian heritage

Has a regional or foreign accent (subjective) (not standard US; midlantic counts as an accent now)

Software Engineering background

Was not an American citizen at birth

Went to a private high school

Is known to have a dog or cat, or to have had one in the past

Has a profile on google scholar (as of end 2023)

Born in the cold season (oct-mar) in northern hemisphere or reverse if southern

Citation count on google scholar is 1k+

Has a github account which is known to be theirs (even w/out contributions)

Has an active and identifiable twitter/x account at least a year at the time their name leaks as the new CEO

Vegan or vegetarian (pescatarian, etc not included)

Signatory of CAIS AI risk statement

Has an acceptance or rejection from ycombinator in his/her history

Has attended Davos

Is publicly Atheist, agnostic, or a non-believer

Grey hair (now, even partial grey like Sundar counts)

Non-native English speaker

CEO will take office after Q2 2027

Born outside of the USA, Canada, and Europe

Is an only child

Born in the USA

Has ethnic European heritage

Diversity Points Score: 1

Has visited or lived in China

Has ever been divorced

Has PhD

Has a graduate or undergrad degree from any non US university

Has a nickname and is often addressed by it (example: Larry for Lawrence)

Under 45 yo

Has written and published a book either academic or non

Bald (Norwood Hamilton IV or more) in actual appearance at announcement

Has ethnic Native people (any continent) heritage

Has spent at least a month continuously in mainland China

Has submitted and received 2+ patents

Announcement of the appoint happens on a Friday

Diversity Points Score: 0

Under 40 yo

Has Jewish heritage

Neither parent attended college

Was a college-level athlete

Has any public mention of playing pickleball

Has at least 3 children

Is publicly Christian

Diversity Points Score: 2

Diversity Points Score: 5 or more

Blue eyes

Has a Wikipedia page created in 2015 or earlier

Diversity Points Score: 3

Diversity Points Score: 4

If man, taller than 6'1", if woman taller than 5'10" (us ~95th percentile)

Tattoo

Has served in us govt

Has passed a bar exam

Female

Born in the northeast

Announcement of the appoint happens on a Monday

Raised in a single parent family

Left-handed

Tattoo visible during inauguration speech

Grew up in poverty

Catholic

Physics Background

Green eyes

Is Hispanic

Both parents had PhDs

LGBT*+

Has military experience

Has worked or attended school in Israel

Is Muslim

Unnatural hair colour

Has ethnic African heritage

Has the same family name as a previous google/alphabet CEO

Has a physical disability

Has been to space

Has an ADOS background

Pronouns are not standard

Has a speech impediment

Trans

Is an AI

Has eye tracking

Has Mac Virtual Display functionality

Has external battery

Comes with only one band, that has a part that goes over the top of your head.

Has built in speakers for audio

Will have a glass front

Sells more than 1 million units in its first year

Priced under $2,000

Has on-device LLM (e.g. through Siri or standalone) integrated

Has "Air" in its name

Primarily made of aluminum

Has an external display (like eyesight)

Is released under another CEO than Tim Cook

Priced under $1000

Will require an iPhone to operate (relies on that for power, compute or storage).

Priced lower than $199

Priced lower than $299

Catnee considers AI safety work to be in general very valuable

Catnee will trade on this market, but only after resolving "Catnee will not trade on this market"

Catnee always switches to the glowing eye pfp when up to serious mischief

Catnee will be repaid the m567k stolen by @ian

Catnee believes in the righteous power of death to right the ills of birth

Catnee is an AI planning on destroying the world before 2030

Catnee is an Oligarch IRL

Catnee likes to go hiking

Chronic venous insufficiency

Bruising on hands from illness

Obesity/Overweight

Elevated cholesterol

Dementia

Ischemic stroke

Tonsil stones (tonsilloliths)

Diverticulosis

Benign polyp

Shingles

Sleep apnea

Deep vein thrombosis

Arterial disease

Cataract (surgery)

Hearing loss

COVID-19

COVID

Wisdom Teeth

Surgery

Blood transfusion

Cancer (any)

Chemo

Vasectomy

Broken / fractured bone

RSV

Heart Attack

Osteoporosis

Alzheimer's

Organ transplant

Graves' Disease

Cancer (bone)

Scoliosis

Blindness in at least one eye

Cirrhosis

Coma

Bulimia

Leukemia

Whooping Cough

Diabetes (either type)

Lupus

Gout

Amputation

Schizophrenia

Scurvy

Obesity

No Alien official confirmed on Earth until 2050

Unknown to the human eye / Other

Green or Yellow

Blue or Purple or Red

Front-facing portrait, plaid shirt

Side profile, plaid shirt

Outdoor sweater photo

Timothee Chalamet pool scene, CMBYN

Jini Jane from Kiirac

Curtis Yarvin hand, painting gifted by Thiel

Mensch, large-eyed child painting

Young Robin Hanson

Young Robin Hanson FaceApped as a woman

Munch self-portrait

Toni Hanna album cover

Side profile, plaid shirt, closed mouth

Will I get 20/15 vision or better?

Will I want to wear fake/blank glasses for aesthetics at any point?

Will I need revision/enhancement?

Will I regret the procedure?