Housing First News

20-30 years

10-20 years

5-10 years

2-5 years

<2 years

30-40 years

40-50 years

NO

YES

YES

safely returns to Earth

Will attempt to say something momentous

Had been into space as of 2023

Right handed

Is a pilot (but not necessarily for the mission)

American citizen

Have child/ren

military or ex military background

Isn't white

Is the mission commander

Christian

Have a PhD

Will step out with their right foot first

Have 2+ bachelors degrees

video recording is available of them falling over on the lunar surface (within 1 year of moonwalk)

Will attempt to say something momentous, and it's generally considered not to have been momentous 12 months after landing

Born in a state that majority voted for Trump in 2024 election

First moon-words will be a joke (e.g. "oh, did I leave the oven on?" or "hey i can see my house from up here!" or even "oh wow there's an alien life form waving at me!")

Will attempt to say something momentous, and it's generally considered so 12 months after landing

Will be recorded (e.g. interview, podcast transcript) dissing moon landing hoaxers, either before or within 12 months of moonwalk

Will have a nickname that doesn't directly derive from their real name (eg Buzz)

Is 68 inches or taller

Male

is 50 years old or older (at time of moonwalk)

Films a tiktok (or similar short format film) on the lunar surface featuring at least some dancing (inside the lander counts) (video is available within 1 year of moonwalk)

Chinese Citizen

No tertiary qualification (honorary degrees don't count)

Will not be a single person; two or more people will take the first step (almost) simultaneously

Expressed doubt on whether the Apollo landings happened (digging up an embarrassing tweet from when they were 13 counts)

bald

has some kind of neural implant

is 30 years old or younger (at time of moonwalk)

Will be recorded attempting a backflip on the lunar surface (video is available within 1 year of moonwalk)

Ginger

Will there be more than 3.5 objects (including glass bottles) be broken at any time during the party?

Will there be more than 0.5g of gods green available AT ONCE at any point during the party?

Will someone flirt with a girl in a relationship

Will there be fucking in either of lenos bedrooms at any given point during the day of the party or the day after?

At any point during the party, will someone forcefully play trap music?

Will takis dance with any girl he met during or because of the party?

Will people that don't know any of the main organisers and close friends show up at the party at any point uninvited?

From the people organising the party, will lenos or nikitas be the first one to show signs of heavy alcohol usage? (1 of 2 at any point wins the bet)

Over 0.5 Nikitas hook ups

Will more than 3.5 individuals who havent met before the party hook up during the party? (including same sex and drinking games)

Will there be enough alcohol to last until 4 am?

Will there be over 3.5 puking incidents at any time during the party? (Counting to when the last guest leaves, including organizers)

Will anyone play sarris' voice recording during the party?

Will there be more than 8.5 karpathians (separately, including sarris) attending the party?

Will lenos consume more than 3.5 substances (including caffeine) at any point until the last guest leaves?

Will at least 100 people show up?

Will there be 4.5 or more flannel button or zip up jackets at any point during the party?

Is there going to be McDonald’s at the end of the party

Will Stellaras play his new trap song at the party after 2.30 am

Will frixos fonaxei at nikitas at any point during the party or the etoimasies

Will sarris down at least 500ml of alcohol at once because "somebody called him a chicken"?

Will anyone try to set up sarris with at least 2 different women during the party? (friends of both people excluded)

Will at least 4 people studying in crete attend the party at any given time? (including sarris)

Will there be more than 20.5 people studying or having studied medical or anthropological studies? (excluding law and education)

Will the main organisers have to do more than 4.5 car trips to return attendees in their respective residencial buildings?

Will stavros dance any traditional greek dances until 4 30 am?

Will there be more than 7.5 people arriving with Christmas themed accessories or clothes at any point during the party? (excluding main organisers)

Will sarris finally get laid? (Per nikitas and machlis sayings)

Will skaravaios show up?

Will sarris have a massive physiological crash out at any point during the day of the party and decide to throw his beliefs out of lenos' house and pursue the first woman that he sees and likes?

NO

Jan 2028 or later

Oct-Dec 2027

Jul-Sep 2027

Jul-Sep 2026

Oct-Dec 2026

Jan-Mar 2027

Apr-Jun 2027

before Mar 2026

YES

Hakeem Jeffries

Other

Byron Donalds

Other

2040

2032

2036

2028

2029

2030

Before Jan 2028

Before Jan 2029

Before July 2028

Before July 2027

Before Jan 2027