Prepared News

Imane Khelif is intersex

The Jews control at least one nation's government

The P320 pistol has a design flaw allowing it to fire without pulling the trigger

Orgies by the wealthy elite as portrayed in 'Eyes Wide Shut'.

DHMO in the water supply

Osama bin Laden didn't act alone

Santa is rigged

That motherfucker WAS real (Tiffany Gomas was wrong the whole time)

Orgies by the fucked-up poors as portrayed in "Eyes Wide Shut XXX" (2013)

The 1% promoted culture wars to distract from class war

√-1 isn't real

Atrazine works as an endocrine-disrupting chemical (EDC), converting testosterone to estrogen in the bodies of frogs leading to homosexual proclivities.

Smartphones listen in on private conversations

US security services use the Google Play Store as an attack vector for android devices

Ticketmaster is in cahoots with organized scalpers

Smart devices are almost always listening to your private conversations

Lionel Messi never played for a Real football (soccer) team

Groundhog Day is rigged

That stock trading AI supposedly built by @SteveSokolowski is actually part of an elaborate scam

The NBA rigs the draft lottery

Joe/Hunter Biden took bribe to protect Burisma from investigation

John McAfee didn't kill himself

The UK security services are complicit in the coverup of a significant underage sex scandal closely linked to the monarchy, taking place in the UK in the period 1975-2015

Dead Internet theory

Some answers in this market are psyops to discredit all the others

At least one UN recognised country is secretly controlled by a cabal following a religion shared by <5% of the country's population

The CCP is directly supporting drug cartel activity in the West

Annie Altman's abuse claims

Dream faked the Manhunt videos

The New Zealand government had advance knowledge of the sinking of the Rainbow Warrior

An adversary is intentionally causing hysteria over drone incidents to force the US/UK's hand into revealing their anti-drone tech

@strutheo is @notrickspringfield

Human didnt evolve from apes

Eating your veggies is bad for your health

There are devices which have been used to alter the electric network frequency of a country in the Middle East to leave more identifiable traces in recorded video and audio clips

At least 3 of the members elected to the French lower house of Parliament in 2024 are Russian agents

Bielefeld does not exist, but another city with the same name in the same place does

This one makes me feel evil, so I ROT13'd it, use ROT13 to decode if you want to keep me company in Hell: Ybh Truevt'f ergverzrag jnf npghnyyl na ZYO-znaqngrq fhfcrafvba

The CCP has a plan to exterminate a large number of people they consider to not be ethnically Chinese

The US/UK/French security services are sinking Russian ships in response to attacks on undersea cables and other hybrid warfare activities (since 2022)

Deepwater Horizon explosion due to sabotage

The Obamas have a loveless marriage, kept together for optics only

Rory Stewart worked for MI6

The CIA killed JFK

Gamergate was right

The US, UK and French security services have collectively assassinated at least 10 German citizens in Germany since 2022

Trump committed sex offenses against minors on Epstein Island

Tiffany Gomas is not the same person as the TMINR lady in the video. She is a PSYOP for Barstool.

FDR deliberately left Pearl Harbor vulnerable, in order to goad Americans into war

As of June 2025, JD Vance is secretly making plans to use future ASI to sieze power and become eternal world dictator

Shakespeare didn’t write his own plays

My dog went to live on farm that was full of other dogs that he could run with and play with and he was much happier than staying with us and peeing on the rug.

Members of US government had prior knowledge of 9/11 and let it happen

Germany has a well-prepared plan (in 2024-) to start mass producing nuclear weapons in <6 months (in case things go bad geopolitically)

Youssoufa Moukoko (soccer player) was born earlier than he claims (earlier than 2004)

China made covid 19 in a lab

A pharma company has a much better treatment for cancer that they are keeping secret because it would compete with their existing products

Michael Jordan's first NBA retirement was actually a forced suspension.

Hellenistic science advanced meta-thermodynamics to derive 𝑄 = 𝑛𝐶Δ𝑇(1 + 𝐻⊙⋆) using the Holtzman Generator

Bitcoin was created by a US three letter agency

lɐǝɹ ʇ,usᴉ ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀

The U.S. military is the number one customer of Glitterex (a glitter company) but doesn't want anyone to know because it hurts their masculine image.

Eliezer wrote The Erogamer

Many vaccines on the standard CDC childhood immunization schedule have serious negative side effects (net negative on health) for at least 5% of the population.

Hellenistic scientists could derive the correct refraction law by minimizing light travel time

Dominic Cummings was/is a Russian spy

Elon Musk used Starlink to rig the 2024 election

Circa 1920 civilizational collapse (c.f. "Whither Tartaria?")

Marilyn Manson had a rib removed in the late 1990s

Charles Manson had a rib removed in the late 1990s

Non-human intelligence affecting events on Earth is not extraterrestrial "aliens," and humans are incorrect in believing that reality consists only of the Universe.

Hellenistic science developed statistical mechanics to the point of being able to derive PV=nRT

The Hellenistic civilization was aware of the existence of Azeroth

The Hawk Tuah meme is a North Korean psyop

Sue Gray was a spy

Harold Holt murdered

Finno-Korean Hyperwar was real

The American govt is actually a totalitarian dictatorship

Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself

Ogopogo and the Yeti faked their relationship (to boost CFL ratings, to increase Taylor Swift's movie sales, support Trudeau's reelection, b/c Ogopogo is PSY, etc.)

Aluminum cookware actually *does* cause Alzheimers.

The Romance languages are not descended from Classical Latin

The 1% promoted class war to distract from culture wars

The hellenistic civilization was aware of the existence of the American continent

The pharma industry has a better version of Viagra that they keep secret to keep their profits up

"Geoterrorism" (weather modification for terrorism) is real as of 2024

Princess Diana was assassinated

US security services asked Microsoft to buy Skype and alter the software so they could target users more easily

Biden and/or US govt did Jan 6 (exclude trump)

A cure for cancer has already been found

The Clintons assasinated their rivals

The NBA rigged Shaq's free throws

Jet fuel *can* melt steel beams, but the official 9/11 narrative is sus because chemtrail chemicals cannot

The NFL is rigged

Hellenistic science knew of quantum mechanics

South Korea has had nuclear weapons since 2023

Xi Jinping had advance knowledge of the Hawk Tuah meme

Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen, and they made the movie Frozen so that when people googled 'Walt Disney Frozen' the movie would come up first

Lee Harvey Oswald didn't act alone.

Mossad uses Hellenistic technology borrowed from the North Sentinelese

Hellenistic scientists could derive the correct warp-induced refraction law by exceeding Warp Factor 9 under Cochrane’s Theorem

Covid was a deliberate test of pandemic preparedness in view of bacteriological war between China and the US

Ogopogo is real

A support network of close friendships is bad for your health

Israel killed JFK

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce faked their relationship (to boost NFL ratings, to increase Tay's movie sales, legitimize mRNA vaccines, b/c she is a PSYOP, etc.)

Shakespeare is not real - they claim he was married to Anne Hathaway but she's like only 40 or so

Exercise is bad for your health

Skin cancer is caused by a lack of melanin, regardless of sunlight exposure

covid-19 vaccine is net negative for health for people who are under 35, with no aggravating condition, and not obese

Bitcoin was created by a 3 letter Hellenistic agency

COVID-19 vaccine is net negative for health

Allen Iverson invented A.I.

The government iodizes the water and fluoridates salt when it should be the other way around

QR codes are satanic

Mossad releases video and audio clips, intended to be of interest to their adversaries, which play special sounds that humans don't notice

China purposely spread covid 19 having intended it to escape the lab

QAnon

Getting 8 hours of sleep is bad for your health

Tom Brady's retirement was actually an NFL mandated suspension

Hitler killed himself because the alternative was going to Argentina

Jerry Sandusky is innocent.

Lee Harvey Oswald was an agent of the Hellenistic Civilization

South Sudan has had nukes since 2023

Famous Israeli agent Eisseberg was behind the sinking of the Titanic

xkcd 690: on 9/11, one of the towers was hit by a plane and the other was a controlled demolition

Airplane trails have toxic chemicals (chemtrails)

@HenriThunberg was paid to create the James Bond market to promote the upcoming movie

Marilyn Monroe had a rib removed in the late 1990s

Rationalussy isn't real.

Skin cancer is caused by sunblock, not sunlight

Chinese people really *are* just saying the n-word.

Tupac is still alive in 2024

Bielefeld does not exist

The Hellenistic Civilization made COVID-19 in a lab

The North Sentinelese have a non-secret aircraft carrier, they have announced it to the world loud and clear. Problem is: nobody speaks their language.

US government is harboring aliens

Bush did 9/11

Monica Lewinsky was a Mossad agent

Effective Altruism is a scam and they just embezzle all the donations

The Mandella Effect in general is real

The North Sentinelese have a secret aircraft carrier

Hurricane Katrina caused by HAARP

The 2020 US presidential election was rigged/stolen

The CIA killed Tupac, and JFK is still alive as of 2024

carbon dioxide isn't the main cause of global warming

China was not genociding Uyghurs

You personally live in Truman Show style captivity

The Romance languages are not descended from Latin

The illuminati runs the world

*All* health care is net negative for health

Birds aren't real

climate change isn't human caused

Michelle Obama is a man

Jeffrey Epstein is still alive

Tiger Woods is a militant separatist Tamil

Brazilian money is not real

The Hellenistic civilization invented USB

The North Sentinelese are remnants of the Hellenistic civilization

Yeti is real or similar creature

The earth is a dodecahedron

Climate change isn’t real

Skibidi Toilet is real

Q is Putin

It used to be spelled Berenstein Bears

Africa isn't real

Christiano Ronaldo never played for a Real football (soccer) team

There is no female orgasm

The North Sentinelese are concealing super-advanced technology.

The earth is flat

Hitler didn't kill himself he went to Argentina

*All* vaccines are net negative for health

The moon landing was fake

End of the world in 2012

Earth is hollow

Justin Trudeau is actually Black and has been wearing "whiteface" all along.

Finland isn't real

Australia isn't real.

5G will kill all vaccinated people once the towers are switched on

Nuclear weapons have never existed

Flossing is bad for your health

Brushing your teeth is bad for your health

HIV doesn’t cause AIDS

Taylor Swift and Mary Berg are the same person

The Epcot sphere was built by aliens as some sort of energy device powering the rat empire.

YES

YES

China launches military drills around Taiwan

Warnings from Western intelligence agencies about Chinese invasion preparations

Submarine cables around Taiwan are damaged

China engages in a partial/total naval blockade of Taiwan

Reports about the discovery of a Chinese spy in Taiwan's military

A western think-tank warns about a Chinese naval build-up

Major cyberattack on Taiwanese infrastructure

At least one western country charters a fight to evacuate its citizens from Taiwan

China shoots down a Taiwanese aircraft

At least one western country tells its citizens to leave China

A Chinese entity releases a frontier AI model

Taiwan revokes visa of pro-Beijing influencer

Taiwan shoots down a Chinese aircraft

China issues new warning to its citizens about travelling to the US

China declares a no-fly zone over Taiwan

China switches its industrial overcapacity over to military production

China fires missiles/rockets/artillery/railguns over Taiwan

A military ship sinks in the Pacific in suspicious circumstances (or due to clear evidence of hostile action)

Reports that China is building new concentration camps

A popular Chinese movie is released containing a scene with an amphibious assault

Chinese government tells large numbers of its citizens to return to China

Chinese soldiers are involved in active combat outside of Chinese territory (excluding UN peacekeeping)

A US company has a market cap of at least 5 trillion dollars at any point in the 12-month window

Significant damage to low-earth orbit satellites (compared to per-satellite damage level in 2024) -- including but not limited to hostile action and kessler syndrome

Reports of drone activity over US military bases in the Pacific

Major cyberattack on Japanese infrastructure

A Taiwanese politician dies in suspicious circumstances

Major cyberattack on South Korean infrastructure

Reports about the discovery of a Chinese spy in the US military

Reports about the discovery of a Chinese spy in Japan's military

Reports about the discovery of a Chinese spy in South Korea's military

the US implements tariffs of at least 25% on Taiwanese semiconductors (implemented at any point in the 12-month window)

A US semiconductor facility is damaged in a fire/explosion or act of sabotage

At least three civilian flights to Taiwan are diverted to land in China

Significant constitutional crisis in the US

Nasdaq is at 60% of its previous peak at any time in the 12-month period

Reports about the discovery of a Chinese spy in Australia's military

Reports about the discovery of a Chinese spy in India's military

A civilian ship sinks in the Pacific in suspicious circumstances (or due to clear evidence of hostile action)

The US implements significant travel restrictions on Chinese citizens (compared to 2024)

Reports of a major corruption scandal involving a Taiwanese/US/Japanese/South-Korean semiconductor company

Oil prices are at >=100 dollars a barrel at any time in the 12-month window

Reports that a large scale cyberattack has physically damaged AI chips in the West

Credible reports in Western news media about activity relating to biolabs in North Korea

1 million humanoid robots have been manufactured

50k soldiers from NATO countries are stationed in Ukraine

A popular Western podcaster/youtuber is prevented from leaving a country by China/Russia

the US implements tariffs of at least 50% on most imports from China

A US movie with a budget of at least 30 million dollars is released containing a US vs China war scene

The US bombs Iran

Attack on a US military asset in the Pacific

A Taiwanese semiconductor manufacturing facility is damaged in a fire/explosion or act of sabotage

An apocalypse cult attacks a civilian or military target in Taiwan

A human walks on the Moon

At least three prominent Taiwanese AI researchers disappear

Reports that the US has used a sixth-generation fighter in combat operations

Reports that China has used a sixth-generation fighter in combat operations

The US reduces sanctions on Russia

Ukraine loses the Donbass region in a ceasefire/peace deal with Russia

The US attempts to expand its territory by force

Reports of suspicious electromagnetic phenomena in the upper atmosphere

Elon Musk is pardoned

China arrests / takes hostage at least 100 westerners (non-taiwanese) on spurious grounds

The US attempts to expand its territory by economic coercion

Attempted coup in Taiwan

the US implements tariffs of at least 75% on most imports from China

Donald Trump is replaced as the US's leader

The US withdraws from NATO

Vladimir Putin is replaced as Russia's leader

100k soldiers from NATO countries are stationed in Ukraine

A NATO soldier on active duty is killed by Russia

Russia attacks a NATO member (excluding attacks on submarine cables)

AGI is achieved by a non-Chinese entity

North Korea detonates a nuclear weapon

The US military performs combat operations in Mexico

Xi Jinping is replaced as China's leader

India detonates a nuclear weapon

Russia cedes territory to China

Vladivostok is not under Russia's control

Ukraine signs a deal with the US giving it access to its minerals

Zelensky is replaced as the leader of Ukraine

Reports in western media about a Taiwanese businessperson falling out of the window of a tall building

Taiwanese political leader dies in small plane accident (w/out being attacked by kinetic or other physical weapon)

Chinese soldiers present in Europe in official combat roles (including peacekeeping)

An AI datacenter is hit by a significant EMP blast

China executes at least 5 citizens of western countries

AGI is achieved by a Chinese entity

A major pandemic occurs

Attempted coup in Russia

Attempted coup in the Phillipines

The US military performs combat operations on Palestinian territory

The US detonates a nuclear weapon

The US attacks a NATO member

Tulsi Gabbard is arrested on treason charges

A nuclear weapon is detonated

Attempted coup in China

Japan takes control of the Kuril Islands

Successful revolution in Iran

Russia detonates a nuclear weapon

Elon Musk is arrested on treason charges

Attempted coup in the US

Strong evidence supporting the covid lab-leak theory emerges

China detonates a nuclear weapon

Japan detonates a nuclear weapon

South Korea detonates a nuclear weapon

Australia detonates a nuclear weapon

YES

Decompose it into infinite spheres, then a few parts per sphere, rotate the spheres by arccos(1/3), unite them and you will find 2 chilis (Banach-Tarski)

Put the chili in a taco

Tip every user who bet YES on this option 69 Mana while preparing the chili

Assume the chili is not in the interval [0,1], square it for more chili, if it is in (0,1), take the square root, else (equals 0 or 1) add 1 to it.

Use sourdough instead of yeast

Make the chili "bigly"

Make the chili great again

Make the chili the bestest, bigliest chili in the land

Trumpify the chili

Vote for the chili

Turn the chili into a metaphor (NOT a simile) for the best moment of your life

Make it edible and throw it in

Make the chili "big league"

Season with your heart

Get your friends to help you make a batch ten times the size, but add a Pepper X (2.7M Scoville heat units) to the mixture

Assume the chili is in the interval [0,1], take the square root for less chili, if it is not in (0,1), square it, else (equals 0 or 1) subtract 1 from it.

Assume the chili is continuous. Then find an antiderivative of the chili.

Reboot the chili

Translate the chili

Replace a local church's communion with the chili (you can choose whether it replaces the bread or the wine)

The

Put pure resiniferatoxin in it (16 billion scoville heat units)

Add a teaspoon of powdered thorium (chemical symbol Th)

Commit armed robbery against the chili for its mana. (the chili's account is @EliezerYudkowsky)

Take the square root of the chili

Deport the chili

Forgo the concept of chili

AI-generate the chili

Add a different temperature to the current one

Use the chili as ink to write in DONALD J TRUMP down the ballot

Add SpaghettiOs

Executes a synchronized dance routine.

Completes an agility obstacle course within a set time.

Solves a Rubik's Cube in under 30 seconds.

Shoots and scores from the free-throw line.

Drives a car.

Hits a dartboard bullseye.

Performs CPR on a mannequin/human.

Prepares a gourmet dish.

Replicates a complex origami figure.

Kill a human

Plays a specific song on an instrument accurately after one listening.

Assembles a furniture that hadn't seen, by reading the manual.

NO

NO

Other

Increase in Wars and Rumors of Wars (Matthew 24:6-7)

Preparation for the Third Temple (Daniel 9:27, Matthew 24:15)

Rise of the Antichrist (2 Thessalonians 2:3-4)

Ezekiel 38-39 War (Gog and Magog invasion of Israel)

Rise of a One-World Government (Revelation 13)

Mark of the Beast (Revelation 13:16-18)

Increase in Natural Disasters (Luke 21:11)

Jewish Return to Israel (Ezekiel 36-37)

Rise of Anti-Semitism (Zechariah 12:2-3)

Increase in Knowledge and Travel (Daniel 12:4)

Apostasy and Falling Away from Faith (2 Timothy 3:1-5)

Peace Treaty with Israel (Daniel 9:27)

Euphrates River Drying Up (Revelation 16:12)

Signs in the Sun, Moon, and Stars (Luke 21:25)

Rise of False Prophets (Matthew 24:11)