The Fabricant News

USA does not control whole of Greenland by EOY

<10sqkm of Greenlandic territory controlled by US by EOY

Resolves 50% if the US owns <10sqkm of Greenland by EOY, otherwise, resolves to 5x the number of traders on this option.

Imposition of tariffs on any country that opposes

Long term (30+ year) lease

Diplomatic deal (e.g. purchase)

Trump will say that he took control over Greenland, but Denmark will say no. As usual, Fox News will give airtime only to Trump’s speech.

This option resolves YES if a nuclear bomb is dropped on Copenhagen by EOY. Resolves to 1/10,000,000,000 the purchase price if Greenland is purchased. Otherwise, resolves to a percent 1-10 as generated by @FairlyRandom

U.S. is the de facto authority, even if they don't technically own the land

Russia will court Greenland to give an excuse to Trump to bring military forces

By fabricating a scenario about a pathogen released from thawing ice

Taken by force

The odds on Kalshi get so low that Trump sees an opportunity. He orders the military into Greenland, conquers it, and wins a shitload of money.

Trump promises each Greenlander X$, so they have a vote to secede from Denmark and join the US. Vote is successful

Trump will offer another country the opportunity to occupy Greenland first, and then “liberate” it with NATO allies

Frederik X, King of Denmark is abducted by the US and abdicates the throne, ceding all rights and titles to Donald Trump

Trying to invade with lots of troops but without a clear solution other than claiming to lead the government.

U.S. takes Denmark, therefore also takes Greenland

Putin will take it for Russia and sell it to Donald J Trump

U.S. citizens will vote to join Denmark, making the United States part of Danish territory and administratively linked to Greenland

Washington DC is physically severed from the Virgina border, so it's an island. Washington and Nuuk are simultaneously airlifted and switch places physically. Somehow this causes the US to be sovereign over Greenland and vice versa.

Optimus robots deployed in Tesla factories (>10 units) by Dec 31, 2026

Marques Brownlee shaves his head on camera by December 31, 2026

Cybercab production exceeds 500/month by Sep 30, 2026

Cortex 2 AI cluster operational by August 1, 2026

Tesla merges with SpaceX by December 31, 2026

Terafab fabricates at least one chip in 2026

Unsupervised FSD releases to non-employees in US by June 30, 2026

YES

YES

YES

YES

NO

Robots

Some As of Early 2024 Not Even Published Yet Architecture as Revolutionary as Transformers was in 2017

Synthetic Biology / Genetic Engineering: For example, developing new vaccines, engineering proteins for sustainable fabric production, developing cell-cultured meats, plant-based meat alternatives, and engineering human immune cells.

YES

YES

NO

YES