Will be recorded (e.g. interview, podcast transcript) dissing moon landing hoaxers, either before or within 12 months of moonwalk
Christian
Have a PhD
Will step out with their right foot first
Have 2+ bachelors degrees
video recording is available of them falling over on the lunar surface (within 1 year of moonwalk)
Will attempt to say something momentous, and it's generally considered not to have been momentous 12 months after landing
Born in a state that majority voted for Trump in 2024 election
First moon-words will be a joke (e.g. "oh, did I leave the oven on?" or "hey i can see my house from up here!" or even "oh wow there's an alien life form waving at me!")
Will attempt to say something momentous, and it's generally considered so 12 months after landing
Will have a nickname that doesn't directly derive from their real name (eg Buzz)
Is 68 inches or taller
Male
is 50 years old or older (at time of moonwalk)
Films a tiktok (or similar short format film) on the lunar surface featuring at least some dancing (inside the lander counts) (video is available within 1 year of moonwalk)
Chinese Citizen
No tertiary qualification (honorary degrees don't count)
Will not be a single person; two or more people will take the first step (almost) simultaneously
Expressed doubt on whether the Apollo landings happened (digging up an embarrassing tweet from when they were 13 counts)
bald
has some kind of neural implant
is 30 years old or younger (at time of moonwalk)
Will be recorded attempting a backflip on the lunar surface (video is available within 1 year of moonwalk)
