Zoë Winters News

YES

Stretch-and-fold after mixing, 3x every 30 min

Place small ice cubes between parchment and pot instead of water

Add 1tsp of diastatic malt powder per 3cps of flour

Use tap water instead of fancy RO water

put butter into it

Toast the bread

Donate the bread to a food pantry, homeless person, or someone else in need

Add lots of butter (0.2 ml per gram)

Half yeast

Bake it with your best friend.

Use whole wheat to improve the nutrition of the bread

Bake for 5 more minutes

Sprinkle 3 grams of flaky sea salt on top of each loaf before the second bake

Replace all water spritz steps with a basting of extra virgin olive oil.

Diastatic malt (~1% baker's percentage) = happier yeast

Serve the bread hot

Do a second rise

Create indentation, fill with melted cheese and butter

don't eat anything for at least 2400 hours before eating the bread

Use sourdough instead of yeast

Cut into the dough right before baking looks destructive to improve the appearance

Sell your bread at an auction and donate the money to those in immigration detention prisons.

3 iterations of stretch-and-fold, at any time during the 14h waiting period. Minimum wait time between iterations 1 hour

Do it with a good spirit in your heart, or ask someone with a good spirit to do it for you. But don’t watch while they do it.

Make banana bread

Do all the changes in the top 5 open options by probability, excluding this option

Sprinkle sesame seeds evenly over the top

Short advice: Start baking at 260°C for strong rise, then reduce to 230°C and uncover halfway to achieve even browning and a crisp crust. 🍞

Add garlic

Give ChatGPT your current recipe as well your take on what optimal bread tastes like, then take that advice for your next bake

Try baking a little more "bien cuit". If the image is indicative, your loaves may be quite "blonde".

put ketchup and cheese on it

Replace some of the water with an egg (eg. remove 25g of water for a 50g egg)

Add slurs to it

Brush on an egg wash

Ask ChatGPT (GPT-5, with thinking enabled) for suggestions on improving the bread, with this market description, then do all of them.

Just freeze the ready bread, then slowly bake it until it’s hot inside. It will give you a crustier crumb, contain less moisture, and taste better.

Don't eat anything for at least 48 hours before eating the bread

Make the bread taste good

Bake for 15 more minutes

Invest in a "Bakers Steel" for better heat retention and oven spring. It would mean graduating from a dutch oven though.

If your city uses artesian water, replace plastic bottled water with tap water. It will add natural, healthy alkalinity to your bread.

Don't eat anything for at least 24 hours before eating the bread

Bake for an amount of minutes equal to the percent this market answer is at when it comes time to begin baking. (Maintain the ±3 minute tolerances and the 2:1 ratio of time before:after the water spritz.)

Watch the video

Ditch current process, do everything the same as the video

Make naan bread, an easy-to-make bread

Bread flour, 3x yeast, cut rise to ~3h

Eat the bread while punching @realDonaldTrump in the face

Eat the bread while watching your mana balance steadily tick to (M)0

Throw the bread at a telescope

Cut bread into loaves before serving

Cut bread into ≤0.4inch slices, toast before serving

Invite your taste-testers to make the bread with you

Tarriff the bread-making process with a 10% reduction of all ingredients where actual physical money is required to purchase them, until it “shrinkflates,” but try to keep the same volume. Do not reduce any free ingredients.

Standardize a separate list of process features to keep track of independently of all other tests and use the cross entropy method to tune them to maximize your bread preference

Add 2 tbsp vanilla cake mix

Use soda instead of water (clear, orange, yellow, etc. soda is ok. Don’t use a purple/brown soda as that would make it not look good)

Taste the bread

Substitute 75 g of your flour with spelt flour

Don't automatically "Heat water to 30±1 °C". Instead, aim for a desired dough temperature (DDT) of 25-26°C. 30°C water is too hot for summer, and potentially too cool for winter.

Add melatonin to the bread and eat before you sleep (do safely)

While the bread is baking, tip every user who voted "Yes" on this option 25 Mana

Use a food-grade, human-approved vitamin D supplement in the correct dosage for testers with vitamin D deficiency

Use a convection oven/setting

Add 1/2 scoop whey protein powder

Give Gemini your current recipe as well your take on what optimal bread tastes like, then take that advice for your next bake

Add 6.25±1.25 g lemon juice when mixing in water to yeast and salt jug

Replace part of the flour in the dough with freshly crushed hemp seeds. It will make the bread a little bit sweeter, especially appealing for Canadians.

Only use tap water from specifically New York City

Make the bread great again

Decompose it into infinite spheres, then a few parts per sphere, rotate the spheres by arccos(1/3), unite them and you will find 2 chilis (Banach-Tarski)

Bake the Manifold Crane into the Bread

Make the bread edible then throw it in

Drink vodka while eating the bread

Do FOLDED

Quit Manifold into the bread.

Kill the bread into Manifold.

Assume the chili is not in the interval [0,1], square it for more chili, if it is in (0,1), take the square root, else (equals 0 or 1) add 1 to it.

Assume the chili is in the interval (0,1), square it for less chili, if it is in (1,infinity) take the square root, if it is in (-infinity,0) take the negative of the square of the of the chile, else (equals 0 or 1) subtract 1 from it.

Add a tablespoon of sugar

Bake one more minute

replace 10% of flour with farina bona

Grind/powderize all salt used into a fine powder (with pestle & mortar or similar device)

Instead of RO water, use lightly rusty water to improve the nutritional value of the bread with soluble iron.

Increase water by 50 g

Ask yourself if bread is healthier than fruits? No need to improve my bread

Resolve at least one thing here yes or no while baking bread

Wear a suit while baking the cake.

Encourage people to participate in the market in good faith while making the bread

Bake for 5 fewer minutes

Replace salt with sugar

Bake the bread into a fun shape, like a fish, or an octagon

A system view is more appropriate. This is a dynamic, multi-variate, biological and chemical system. For e.g. conditioning salt % AND yeast % AND water temperature based on ingredient and ambient temps.

Replace 10% of flour with milled wheat bran

Put a baking rack in the Dutch oven before putting the loaf in, raising the loaf off the floor and lofting it over a layer of air.

Use flour made from an unconventional grain e.g. barley, millet, oats, rye, sorghum, maize etc.

Cover bread with damp paper towel instead of initial water spritz. Rehydrate paper towel during 2nd spritz. Remove paper towel before placing on cooling rack.

Strawberry jelly filling

Replace 600+/-5g water with 600+/-50g water (eyeball rather than carefully measure)

Have someone sell the bread to you at an expensive price

Add 1/2 cup yogurt to the bread and name the bread “gurt” while addressing it with “yo, gurt”.

Get your friends to help you make a batch ten times the size, but add a Pepper X (2.7M Scoville heat units) to the mixture

Mail the bread to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington D.C.

Ship a piece of the bread to a random person.

Frost it and put sprinkles on it to make it a birthday cake.

Buy bread from a michelin star restaurant.

Make all of the ingredients from scratch.

Improve the bread

Quadruple salt

Bake your social security number into it.

Bake one fewer minute

Want to improve the value of your bread? Simply bake a piece of gold into it

Bake the cake while wearing a onesie.

Pray to your preferred agricultural/food deity before baking and before eating

Only buy ingredients from 7/11.

Cook the bread with a rod/puck of aluminum foil (or similar) in the core in an attempt to conduct heat through the center of the bread, cooking it evenly like a doughnut.

Test/filter the water for heavy metals

Eat the bread in front of the White House.

Implement all options that resolved NO

Make the bread inedible then throw it out.

Throw the bread at @realDonaldTrump

Force Feed it to @realDonaldTrump

Add as many Jack Daniel's whiskey barrel smoking chips as feasible to the Dutch oven before baking, physically separating them from the bread as necessary while baking.

Add caffeine to the bread

Cut the bread into the number of traders in the market slices.

make the bread bounce

Implementing every element listed below.

Put a non-lethal dose of any rat poison.

Just make donuts instead

Bake it in an easy bake kids oven

Use a plastic baking sheet.

Eat the bread while betting yes on Cuomo on Manifold

Double oven temperature

Bake the bread very thin and add food coloring to make it have the US flag. Don’t allow it to touch the ground, illuminate at night, fold 13 times properly, and pledge allegiance before eating.

Don’t use usual water (room temperature) for the dough - that water’s only for toilets. Use electrolyte drinks instead with ice cubes; they make the dough taste better and add extra nutrition.

Light it on fire with birthday candles.

Bake it with a microwave

Halve oven temperature

Eat the bread while betting yes on Mamdani on Manifold

Step on it

it needs more salt

Bring it to Yemen and put a bomb in it

Bake America Great Again

Give the bread a name in a ritual ceremony and baptise it, with pre-blessed holy water if a priest isn't available

Sacrifice a lamb

Add MAGA and a splash of Trump juice

Use lemonade instead of water.

Bake in a cat and a dog

Explode it:

5 parts cyanide/ 1 part water/ 1 part sand

say 6 7 67 times before making the bread

Take a fat dump in the dough

Sit in dough 24 hrs

Replace flour with flowers

Let dough sit 24 hrs

Mix half sodium/potassium chloride

Add 2g? of baking soda

Bake in rectangular tin

Add 50g vital wheat gluten

double yeast

halve salt

Double salt

Add 2tsp olive oil

Refrigerate dough instead of room temp wait

Start at 500F, drop to 450F and uncover half way through

Do not mix salt and yeast in water together

Autolyse 20 minutes

Let dough rise on counter only until double volume or 2h max, any time longer in fridge

Think positive thoughts before tasting

Put fork in microwave

Don't eat anything for at least 12 hours before eating the bread

Add 2tbsp vanilla extract

Play classical music while baking

Add a pinch of sugar

Bake on upside-down sheet pan, covered with Dutch oven

Eat the bread with friends

Bake vegimite into it.

Bake vodka into it

Bake it in the country you were born in.

Let dough sit 48 hrs

Resolve this option YES while eating the bread

Ditch all the steps. Just buy the bread from the supermarket

Eat the bread over the course of a week.

Use 50% whole grain flour

Bake the bread with love

Use King Arthur Bread Flour instead of All-Purpose

Add sawdust to increase the volume of the bread (but only like 10% sawdust by volume max. maybe 20% if it's good sawdust)

More steam! Either spritz with more water (preferably hot) or actually pour some boiling water in just before closing the lid.

Resolve this option NO while eating the bread

Incorporate a whole grain flour (buckwheat for example)

Add 50g sugar

Add 50g honey

Swap 200ml water for milk

Make a poolish 12 h ahead: 100 g flour + 100 g water + 0.8 g yeast (0.1 %). After it ferments, use this poolish in place of 100 g flour and 100 g water in the final dough.

Add an amount of MSG equivalent to half the current salt content

Eat the bread while sending all your mana to @realDonaldTrump

Add banana

Taylor Swift dies

The Winds of Winter (Game of Thrones 6th Novel) is Published

Puerto Rico becomes a (US) State

Taylor Swift dates somebody who does not identify as a man

A woman is president of the United States

Taylor Swift goes to Space

China full-scale invades Taiwan

Taylor Swift performs at the Super Bowl

Reputation (TV) is released

A United States presidential candidate endorsed by Taylor Swift gets elected

Taylor Swift releases her "Taylor Swift" album rerecord

Nate Silver wins a WSOP Bracelet

Travis Kelce wins a fourth Super Bowl

The Buffalo Bills beat the Kansas City Chiefs in the playoffs

A Non-QB wins the NFL MVP award

King Charles III ceases to be the King of the UK (or England, if the UK is broken up)

Songs on Midnights reach 20 Billion total streams

Taylor Swift does not have a live performance for a period of at least 2 years

Destiny is unbanned from Twitch

Obergefell is effectively overturned by the Supreme Court

Steven "Destiny" Kenneth Bonnell II gets remarried

GameStop files for Bankruptcy

The UN has a new member state

There is an official Russia Ukraine peace treaty

Any United States current or former president dies (after Jimmy Carter)

Nine months prior to the birth of Taylor Swift’s first child

Cannabis is Federally Legalized

Steven "Destiny" Kenneth Bonnell II appears on "The Joe Rogan Experience"

The United States reports a Recession

A Supreme Court justice dies or announces retirement

Travis Kelce Retires From the NFL

Songs on The Tortured Poets Department reach 10 Billion total streams

The Carolina Panthers clinch a playoff berth

A major Philadelphia sports team (NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB) wins a championship

Jimmy Carter Dies

The Same Party Controls the U.S. House, Senate and Presidency

Taylor Swift releases 2 new (non-rerecord) albums

Taylor Swift gets engaged

Taylor Swift attends a Super Bowl won by the Kansas City Chiefs

Pope Francis ceases to be Pope

2030+ or never

2029

2028

2027

2026

2025

Tom Holland (Peter Parker / Spider-Man)

Anthony Mackie (Sam Wilson / Captain America)

Robert Downey, Jr. (Victor von Doom / Doctor Doom, Tony Stark / Iron Man)

Pedro Pascal (Reed Richards / Mister Fantastic)

Benedict Cumberbatch (Dr. Stephen Strange)

Ebon Moss-Bachrach (Ben Grimm / The Thing)

Joseph Quinn (Johnny Storm / Human Torch)

Samuel L. Jackson (Nick Fury)

Sebastian Stan (Bucky Barnes / Winter Soldier / White Wolf)

Vanessa Kirby (Sue Storm / Invisible Woman)

Simu Liu (Shang-Chi)

Paul Rudd (Scott Lang / Ant-Man)

Chris Hemsworth (Thor)

Charlie Cox (Matt Murdock / Daredevil)

Hannah John-Kamen (Ava Starr / Ghost)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Valentina Allegra de Fontaine)

Pom Klementieff (Mantis)

David Harbour (Alexei Shostakov / Red Guardian)

Danny Ramirez (Joaquin Torres / Falcon)

Iman Vellani (Kamala Khan / Ms. Marvel)

Mark Ruffalo (Bruce Banner / Hulk)

Dominique Thorne (Riri Williams / Ironheart)

Florence Pugh (Yelena Belova / Black Widow)

Benedict Wong (Wong)

Chris Pratt (Peter Quill / Star-Lord)

Vin Diesel (Groot)

Ryan Reynolds (Wade Wilson / Deadpool)

Jeremy Renner (Clint Barton / Hawkeye)

Wyatt Russell (John Walker / U.S. Agent)

Brie Larson (Carol Danvers / Captain Marvel)

Letitia Wright (Shuri / Black Panther)

Karen Gillan (Nebula)

Tatiana Maslany (Jennifer Walters / She-Hulk)

Chris Evans (Steve Rogers / Captain America)

Hailee Steinfeld (Kate Bishop / Hawkeye)

Teyonah Parris (Monica Rambeau)

Xochitl Gomez (America Chavez)

Hayley Atwell (Peggy Carter / Captain Carter)

Kathryn Newton (Cassie Lang)

Bradley Cooper (Rocket Raccoon)

Will Poulter (Adam Warlock)

Tenoch Huerta Mejía (Namor)

Don Cheadle (James "Rhodey" Rhodes / War Machine)

Tessa Thompson (Valkyrie)

Winston Duke (M'Baku)

Elizabeth Olsen (Wanda Maximoff / Scarlet Witch)

Paul Bettany (Vision)

Kathryn Hahn (Agatha Harkness)

Danai Gurira (Okoye)

Oscar Isaac (Marc Spector / Moon Knight, Steven Grant / Mr. Knight, Jake Lockley)

Hugh Jackman (James "Logan" Howlett / Wolverine)

Tom Hiddleston (Loki)

Mahershala Ali (Blade)

Sean Gunn (Kraglin)

Alaqua Cox (Maya Lopez / Echo)

Lupita Nyong'o (Nakia)

Wil Deusner (Skaar)

Gemma Chan (Sersi)

Kumail Nanjiani (Kingo)

Lia McHugh (Sprite)

Brian Tyree Henry (Phastos)

Barry Keoghan (Druig)

Harry Styles (Eros / Starfox)

Patton Oswalt (Pip the Troll)

Kit Harington (Dane Whitman)

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II (Simon Williams / Wonder Man)

Evangeline Lilly (Hope van Dyne / Wasp)

Seth Green (Howard the Duck)

Zoe Saldaña (Gamora)

Dave Bautista (Drax)

Angelina Jolie (Thena)

Gael García Bernal (Jack Russell / Werewolf by Night)

Tobey Maguire (Peter Parker / Spider-Man)

Scarlett Johansson (Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow)

Andrew Garfield (Peter Parker / Spider-Man)

Lauren Ridloff (Makkari)

Emilia Clarke (G'iah)

Ralph Ineson (Galactus)

Jeffrey Wright (The Watcher)

May Calamawy (Layla El-Faouly / Scarlet Scarab)

Harrison Ford (Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross)

Brett Goldstein (Hercules)

Don Lee (Gilgamesh)

Anthropic or Meta release a new model

Eliezer Yudkowsky remains unwavering that the probability of AI annihilation is greater than or equal to 95%

Sam Altman still CEO through end of month

noam chomsky alive until end of month

large tech company announces layoffs by my judgement

trump posts on twitter/x ten or more times

nyc receives 3 or more inches of rain

Israeli startup acquired at a price higher than $1b

dick cheney still alive at end of month

$500 in mana sold in a single day during the month

major tech company merger/acquisition announced

earthquake 7.0+ magnitude

nVidia becomes the largest company in the history of the world (by market capitalization) at least once

usa bombs or missle strikes syria

american airstrike or drone strike or missle strike on iran

twitter/x banned in another country (announced, even if it can be circumvented)

trump leaves usa at least once

web3isgoinggreat has at least 20 posts this month

NASDAQ hits an all time high

An original, Nintendo approved game with "Mario" in its title is announced

Volcano dormant for half a year erupts

earthquake 7.5 magnitude or higher

at least 3 xkcd comics with no stick figures in it

Federal Reserve cuts interest rates

usa bombs or missle strikes lebanon

spacex launches 15 or more rockets

usa troops enter syria

a supreme court justice is replaced, or announces retirement

china taiwan military conflict resulting in at least 1 death

American airstrike or drone strike or missile strike on Mexico

usa troops enter lebanon

New nominal US$ market capitalization record for the largest company in the history of the world

ukraine russia ceasefire

starship launch

Bitcoin hits 100K

New Half-Life game announced

bitcoin reaches 150k or more at least one day

another indictment or charges announced against trump

10/31 Halloween

12/25 Christmas

Thanksgiving

Easter

11/03 U.S. Election Day

06/** Pride Month

Fall equinox (or fall in general)

Winter Solstice (or winter in general)

12/31 New Year's Eve

03/14 Pi Day

Any Manifest

04/01 April Fools Day

Cortina Winter Olympics

Saint Patrick's Day

The Oscars

05/27 Memorial Day

07/04 U.S. Independence Day

05/04 Star Wars Day

03/08 International Women's Day

Juneteenth

Spring equinox (or spring in general)

04/22 Earth Day

Mother's Day

Father's Day

Labor Day

11/11 Veterans Day/Armistice Day

05/05 Cinco de Mayo

AI winter

Benign superintelligence

Other

Daniel Negreanu

Niklas Astedt

Linus Loeliger

Isaac Haxton

Rainer Kempe

Ben Yu

Sean Winter

Other

Pandemic Disease

Solar Flare

Scarcity of Resources

Other

BasedBeffJezos becomes dictator of the Earth's singleton

Global Thermonuclear War

Climate Disaster

Nuclear Accident

Asteroid Impact Winter

Global Dictatorship

Australia Win

Whitewash

Series is played in Aussie Winter

Darwin gets a Test

Series is cancelled

Series is postponed to 2027

Bio-Risk

other

Drones

Paperclipped

"AI gets the nuclear codes"

Disruption of global food supply chain

AI doomer data center airstrike starts WW3 + nuclear winter

AI hacking takes down global communications networks

Chemical attack