All Blacks News

Ron Weasley is a redhead

Snape is black

Harry Potter is white

At least one named character from the book has their race changed

An actor who acted in the movies returns for the show

Harry, Ron, and Hermione’s actors will all be British

Harry Potter doesn't cast a single spoken, working spell in the first episode

Dumbledore casts a spell (spoken or wordlessly)

Fred and George are twins irl

Hagrid is played by an actor who is under 6'4"

McGonagall performs an animagus transformation (human2cat or cat2human)

Hermione’s parent(s) shown on screen

A History of Magic lesson is shown on screen

A character cut from the movies appears (ie Theodore Nott)

Premieres in 2026

The potion riddle guarding the Stone will be featured

Quirrel is wearing a head covering when Harry first meets him

Cornelius Fudge is shown on screen

Ron Weasley doesn't cast a single, spoken, working spell in the first two episodes

Malfoy has white blonde hair

Arthur Weasley is shown on screen

There’s a scene set before Harry is born

Peeves is a reoccurring character

JK Rowling is credited as both an executive producer and original writer

Hagrid says "You’re a wizard, Harry"

Harry first sees Hogwarts castle in episode 2

It's woke

A scene depicts Voldemort trying to kill baby Harry

mandrake root on screen

Arabella Figg is mentioned by first or last name

80% or higher on rotten tomatoes

It will be torrentfreak.com's "Most Pirated" TV show for its year of release or the following year

An Astronomy lesson is shown on screen

Luna Lovegood, Cho Chang, or Cedric Diggory are mentioned by first or last name, or are in the credits

A house elf is shown on screen

At least one named character from the book has their gender swapped

Hagrid ties Vernon’s gun into a knot

The Quibbler is shown or mentioned

Homosexual interaction between some characters will be presented

Goblins are still represented as anti-semitic caricatures

Premieres on strongly symbolic date (like July 31, 21.12)

The Flying Ford Anglia is seen.

Harry is shown holding more than three different wands at Ollivander’s

The Weasley's Ford Anglia is seen flying

Harry first sees Hogwarts castle in episode 3

Harry visits Platform 9 3/4 in episode 1

An actor who appeared in any of the Jackass films receives a credit on IMDB related to the show

VOLDEMORT HAS A NOSE

Hagrid presents a cake with writing on it to Harry and the writing has no misspellings

Harry visits Diagon Alley in episode 1

"Voldemort" has a silent "t"

Dobby makes an appearance

90% or higher on rotten tomatoes

The intro theme song will have at least one obvious English word

At least one of the actors is transgender

It ends on a cliff hanger

Harry only reaches Hogwarts in the last 10 minutes of the first episode

Harry Potter doesn't cast a single, spoken, working spell in the first three episode

Any Harry Potter fanfic is referenced (either explicitly as judged by market creator, or confirmed by someone who works on the show)

Hermione is white

Hermione is Indian

Features an explicitly transgender character

We see a wizarding school other than Hogwarts

JK Rowling makes a cameo appearance

Quirrel shakes Harry’s hand during their first meeting

Premieres in 2027

actor in the show wins an Emmy for acting

Awkwafina is cast in the show

Hermione is black

Smartphone shown within Hogwarts

There will be seven CGI dwarves

Rita Skeeter will have an explicit trans identity

Hagrid is played by an actor with a cognitive disability

Keir Starmer is in it

set in 2025

set in the 2020s

Adolf Hitler is mentioned

Yudkowsky makes an appearance

Harry, Ron, and Hermione will all be transgender

We get AGI before it premieres

Voldemort is a woman

Hagrid is black

Fred and George have the same actor

HPMOR is referenced

Gandalf is black

One or more of Hermione, Ron, and Harry have their genders swapped.

Mainstream Media

Letitia James

January 6th Committee

Jimmy Kimmel

Volodymyr Zelenskyy

LQBTQ / Trans People

Migrants

Jack Smith

Vaccine mandates

Ann Selzer

The Bidens (Joe, Ashley, Jill, and/or Hunter Biden)

Elon Musk

Anthony Fauci

Gen. Mark Milley

The New York Times (NYT)

Universities

Paper straws

Leakers

Blinken

Maine

Due Process

National Institutes of Health

Solar Energy

Miles Taylor

Alejandro Mayorkas

Stephen Colbert

John Bolton

Wind Energy

James Comey

John Brennan

Panama

JB Pritzker

Public Libraries

Alexander Vindman

Progressive YouTube Influencers

Tucker Carlson

The Metropolitan Museum of Art

Bruce Springsteen

Zohran Mamdani

Nancy Pelosi

The Atlantic

the National Archives

Disney

Any professional sports league

The American Psychiatric Association

Lisa Murkowski (R-AK)

Denmark

Jeffrey Goldberg (Atlantic columnist)

Seth Myers

Bill Barr

Susan Collins (R-ME)

Michael Cohen

Mariann Edgar Budde

Wikipedia

Any non-Tesla electric car manufacturer

Ken Klippenstein

The American Medical Association

Christopher Steele

John Kelly

Emmanuel Macron

Jeff Bezos

Narendra Modi

Greenland

Any Manifold User

E. Jean Carroll

Fluoride

TIME magazine

Joe Biden

Jen Psaki (former White House Press Secretary and current MSNBC host)

Brad Raffensperger

WIRED Magazine

Kristi Noem

Liz Cheney

The San Diego Zoo

American sign language signers or interpreters

JD Vance

The population of penguins and seabirds on the Heard and McDonald Islands

Any fashion or cosmetics brand

Mike Pence

Barack Obama

Russell Vought

Democratic Republic of the Congo

Jezebel (website)

Black Nationals

SSRIs

Beyoncé

Pete Hegseth

Rosie O'Donnell

Alec Baldwin

Taylor Swift

BlueSky

Not Elected

Chappell Roan

Bill Burr

NO

[Silicon Valley] Elon Musk posts two or more tweets that are unambiguously critical of Trump by Election Day, 2028 (Nate: 70%)

[Silicon Valley] Trump establishes a Bitcoin reserve in his first 100 days (Nate: 15%)

[Economy] Trump imposes a tariff of at least 40% on China before the 2028 elections (Nate: 30%)

[Economy] Trump imposes a tariff of at least 25% on Mexico or Canada before the 2028 elections (Nate: 60%)

[Economy] The SALT deduction is raised or uncapped before the 2026 midterms (Nate: 80%)

[Economy] Trump signs legislation or passes an executive order reducing or eliminating taxes on tips by 11/7/2028 (Nate: 65%)

[Economy] There is at least one federal government shutdown before the 2028 elections (Nate: 75%)

[Foreign Policy] Trump visits China (Nate: 90%)

[Foreign Policy] Trump makes any new statement that COVID probably or definitely originated in a Chinese lab by 1/20/29 (Nate: 75%)

[Constitutionality] The Supreme Court substantially overrules Trump’s interpretation of birthright citizenship (Nate: 90%)

[Constitutionality] By 1/20/29, the NYT publishes the phrase “constitutional crisis” in reference to actions undertaken by Trump, the White House, or Republicans in the headline or lede paragraph of at least three news articles (Nate: 45%)

[Media] Trump or the federal government sue the New York Times or the Washington Post, or any active employees thereof, at any point before the 2028 election (Nate: 55%)

[Media] The New York Times or Washington Post hires at least one full-time explicitly pro-Trump political columnist by the 2028 election (Nate: 40%)

[Media] Trump attends the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner at least once (Nate: 60%)

[Trump and 2028] Conditional on his still being president, the New York Times publishes at least three articles between the 2026 midterms and 2028 election pointing toward Trump’s physical or cognitive decline (Nate: 80%)

[Baseline Politics] Mike Johnson remains Speaker of the House through 11/3/2026 (Nate: 60%)

[Baseline Politics] Democrats win the House in the 2026 midterms (Nate: 85%)

[Constitutionality] Trump pardons any family member, not including himself, before 1/20/29 (Nate: 90%)

[Culture Wars] The federal government sues any AAU university for failing to comply with Students for Fair Admissions v. Harvard by 1/20/29 (Nate: 90%)

[Media] MSNBC ratings are lower in 2026 than in 2018 (Nate: 80%)

[Immigration] At least 1 million illegal/unauthorized immigrants are deported through 2027 (Nate: 90%)

[Immigration] Southwestern border apprehensions are at least 50% lower in 2025-2027 than on average from 2021-2023 (Nate: 75%)

[Economy] The US Gini coefficient is higher in 2027 than in 2023 (Nate: 85%)

[Economy] Total federal government tax receipts, including tariffs, are lower as a share of GDP in 2027 than in 2023 (Nate: 70%)

[Constitutionality] Trump pardons himself before 1/20/29 (Nate: 85%)

[Trump Cabinet] Two or more Cabinet members from any point in Trump’s second term publicly criticize Trump by the 2028 election (Nate: 70%)

[Media] Fox News ratings are lower in 2026 than in 2022 (Nate: 55%)

[Trump and 2028] Trump completes his term (Nate: 75%)

[Electorate Demographics] The gender gap, measured as the Republican vote share among men less the share among women, will be wider in 2028 than in 2024 (Nate: 65%)

[Culture Wars] Homicide rates are lower in 2027 than in 2023 (Nate: 70%)

[Trump and 2028] Trump is impeached (again) — does not require conviction (Nate: 45%)

[Silicon Valley] Trump or his successors sign any law limiting the scope of Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act by 11/7/2028, reducing liability protections for social media companies (Nate: 60%)

[Trump and 2028] Trump asserts his intention on at least two occasions to run for a third term in 2028 (Nate: 40%)

[Baseline Politics] Democrats win the presidency in 2028 (Nate: 55%)

[Economy] Year-over-year inflation is >=5.0% at any point based on data published before the 2028 election (Nate: 50%)

[Baseline Politics] At least one new Supreme Court vacancy in the 119th or 120th Congress (Nate: 85%)

[Culture Wars] Childhood measles vaccination rates (currently ~93%) drop below 90% in any calendar year based on best available data as of 1/20/2029 (Nate: 35%)

[Constitutionality] The New York Times or Washington Post report that the Trump administration has illegally surveilled domestic political opponents by the 2028 election (a.k.a. Watergate 2.0) (Nate: 25%)

[Constitutionality] Trump or his successors invoke the Insurrection Act at any point before 1/20/29, even if later blocked by courts (Nate: 40%)

[Electorate Demographics] The Republican margin of victory or defeat improves in Santa Clara County, California in 2028 versus 2024 (Nate: 60%)

[Baseline Politics] Democrats win the Senate in 2026 (Nate: 15%)

[Culture Wars] A ban on transgender student-athletes in women’s sports is passed through Congress and signed by Trump or enacted through executive action by 1/20/29 (Nate: 70%)

[Economy] The S&P 500 closes at least 40% higher on 9/1/2028 than on 1/17/2025 (5,996.66 points) (Nate: 50%)

[Trump and 2028] Conditional on still being president, Trump endorses the eventual winner of the 2028 GOP presidential nomination by 2/29/2028 (Nate: 60%)

[Economy] The NBER declares a recession at any point before the 2028 election (Nate: 45%)

[Culture Wars] At least half the members of any Super Bowl champion refuse to visit the White House while Trump is in office or refuses to invite them (Nate: 10%)

[Electorate Demographics] The GOP candidate increases their share of the Jewish vote in 2028 vs. Trump in 2024 (Nate: 50%)

[Trump Cabinet] At least two of Pete Hegseth, Tulsi Gabbard, and RFK Jr. do not occupy their respective cabinet positions (or are not confirmed) by the 2026 midterms (Nate: 65%)

[Culture Wars] Trump or any successors sign legislation with the explicit aim of increasing US fertility rates by 11/7/2028 (Nate: 40%)

[Culture Wars] Trump signs a bill or executive order restricting early or mail-in voting or voter registration practices for federal elections (Nate: 25%)

[Baseline Politics] Democrats win a trifecta (House + Senate + POTUS) in 2028 (Nate: 40%)

[Trump and 2028] JD Vance is the GOP nominee in 2028 (Nate: 50%)

[Foreign Policy] Trump visits Russia (Nate: 60%)

[Media] The Washington Post endorses the Democratic presidential candidate in 2028 (Nate: 60%)

[Silicon Valley] The FTC or another federal agency initiate a new prosecution against a Big 5 tech company by 1/20/29 (Nate: 60%)

[Electorate Demographics] The GOP candidate increases their share of the Black vote in 2028 vs. Trump in 2024 (Nate: 55%)

[Economy] Trump imposes a tariff of at least 20% on Denmark before the 2028 elections (Nate: 40%)

[Constitutionality] The White House refuses to comply with any Supreme Court order (Nate: 10%)

[Trump and 2028] Trump’s approval rating is >=40% by the 2026 midterms (Nate: 55%)

[Economy] Real GDP growth through Q3 2028 exceeds the average of GDP growth (3.3%) during Biden’s first 15 quarters (Nate: 35%)

[Silicon Valley] Elon Musk donates at least $100M to the Republican general election nominee in 2028 (Nate: 55%)

[Silicon Valley] Trump or the White House make a public statement warning of the dangers of unaligned AI by 11/7/2028 (Nate: 40%)

[Trump Cabinet] At least three Attorneys General, excluding acting AGs, occupy the position before 1/20/2029 (Nate: 25%)

[Culture Wars] The White House undertakes any executive action, or Congress passes any law, placing new restrictions on licensed online American sportsbooks by 1/20/2029 (Nate: 50%)

[Electorate Demographics] The GOP candidate increases their share of the LGBTQ vote in 2028 vs. Trump in 2024 (Nate: 55%)

[Media] Trump bars all New York Times or Washington Post reporters from White House press briefings at any point before the 2028 election (Nate: 60%)

[Foreign Policy] Congress declares war or authorizes the use of military force by 11/7/2028 (Nate: 25%)

[Constitutionality] Republicans hold Congressional hearings on efforts to cover up Biden’s age or physical or cognitive condition (Nate: 45%)

[Culture Wars] At least one Oscar, Grammy, or Emmy winner explicitly praises Trump during their acceptance speech before the 2028 elections (Nate: 40%)

[Trump and 2028] Trump’s approval rating is >=40% by the 2028 general election (Nate: 60%)

[Trump and 2028] Conditional on still being president, Trump endorses JD Vance by 2/29/2028 (Nate: 55%)

[Immigration] At least 3 million illegal/unauthorized immigrants are deported through 2027 (Nate: 40%)

[Silicon Valley] At least 30% of donations from Big 5 tech employees (Amazon, Alphabet, Apple, Meta, Microsoft) go toward Republicans in the 2028 campaign (Nate: 25%)

[Foreign Policy] Conditional on the war not ending, the US cuts foreign aid to Ukraine by at least 25% in its next budget (Nate: 10%)

[Foreign Policy] There is a territorial dispute, resulting in maneuvering of military assets, between the US and any country in the Americas (including Greenland) before 1/20/29 (Nate: 20%)

[Economy] Federal spending as a share of GDP is lower in 2027 than in 2023 (Nate: 60%)

[Economy] Trump invokes the Taft-Hartley Act at least once before the 2028 elections (Nate: 25%)

[Culture Wars] Race relations are rated as “somewhat bad” or “very bad” by more people than in 2021 (57%) in the average of any Gallup surveys taken during Trump’s second term (Nate: 20%)

[Economy] The top federal tax bracket is lower in 2028 than in 2024 (Nate: 25%)

[Electorate Demographics] The GOP candidate increases their share of the Hispanic vote in 2028 vs. Trump in 2024, as measured based on an average of the AP and Edison exit polls (Nate: 35%)

[Foreign Policy] Trump recognizes Taiwan by 1/20/29 (Nate: 20%)

[Constitutionality] The Trump administration prosecutes Joe Biden (Nate: 50%)

[Electorate Demographics] The GOP candidate increases their share of the Muslim vote in 2028 vs. Trump in 2024 (Nate: 40%)

[Trump and 2028] The 2028 election is not regarded as “free or fair” (or similar terminology) by one or more major international organizations (Nate: 10%)

[Silicon Valley] Any “Twitter-type” platform has more active daily users than Twitter/X by 6/30/28 (Nate: 30%)

[Culture Wars] The White House undertakes any executive order, or Congress passes any law, placing new restrictions on online pornography by 1/20/2029 (Nate: 20%)

[Electorate Demographics] The Republican margin of victory or defeat improves in New Jersey in 2028 versus 2024 (Nate: 25%)

[Foreign Policy] Trump or his successors successfully withdraw the US from NATO by 11/7/2028 (Nate: 10%)

[Foreign Policy] The United States purchases or retakes any part of Greenland before 1/20/29 (Nate: 10%)

[Trump and 2028] The transition to the new president in 2028/2029 is marked by violence, resulting in at least five deaths (Nate: 15%)

[Economy] Trump's first nominee for Federal Reserve Chair in 2026 is confirmed with at least two-thirds of voting Senators (Nate: 55%)

[Constitutionality] The Economist Intelligence Unit’s Democracy Index for the US (currently 7.8) falls under 7.0 at any point before 1/20/29 (Nate: 15%)

[Immigration] More H1-B visas are issued on average in FY 2025-2028 versus 2021-2024 (Nate: 35%)

[Culture Wars] The Oscars rescind their DEI requirements by 2028 (Nate: 45%)

[Silicon Valley] Congress passes a shift to year-round Standard Time (Nate: 15%)

[Trump and 2028] Trump physically refuses to leave the White House following the end of his term or removal from office (Nate: 5%)

[Foreign Policy] An American flag is planted on Mars (including by unmanned drones/robots) by 1/20/29 (Nate: 5%)

[Immigration] The border wall/fence with Mexico is completed before 1/20/29 (Nate: 20%)

[Culture Wars] Trump signs a bill to repeal substantial portions of Obamacare by 11/3/2026 (Nate: 30%)

[Baseline Politics] A third party is a significant factor (>=15% or more of the popular vote at any point after Labor Day) in the 2028 race (Nate: 20%)

[Media] Trump appears on Saturday Night Live at least once before the 2028 election (Nate: 30%)

[Baseline Politics] Democrats take control of the House before the 2026 midterms through special elections or party switches (Nate: 10%)

[Trump and 2028] The 25th Amendment is invoked against Trump (Nate: 10%)

[Foreign Policy] The United States retakes any part of the Panama Canal before 1/20/29 (Nate: 5%)

[Trump and 2028] Trump’s approval rating is >=50% by the 2026 midterms (Nate: 15%)

[Trump and 2028] A member of the Trump family (not including Trump himself) is the GOP nominee in 2028 (Nate: 5%)

[Silicon Valley] DOGE recommendations lead to cuts of at least $500 billion in government spending in any fiscal year between now and the 2028 election (Nate: 10%)

[Culture Wars] Same-sex marriage is not legal in any state as of 11/7/2028 (Nate: 5%)

[Culture Wars] Trump signs a federal abortion ban into law by 11/7/2028 (Nate: 5%)

[Trump and 2028] Trump appears on the general election ballot of enough states to win the Electoral College in 2028 (Nate: 2%)

[Trump Cabinet] Either Tulsi Gabbard or RFK Jr. are not confirmed to their current cabinet nominations (Nate: 55%)

[Economy] Trump attempts to fire Jerome Powell before his term expires in May 2026 (Nate: 5%)

Giant Nematode - Placentonema gigantissima 🥉🥉

Cape Buffalo - Syncerus caffer caffer

Yellow-Lipped Sea Krait - Laticauda colubrina 🥉

Common Bed Bug - Cimex lectularius

Sea Otter - Enhydra lutris

Wolverine - Gulo gulo 🥉

Sonoran Desert Sidewinder - Crotalus cerastes cercobombus

Brown Rat - Rattus norvegicus 🥉

House Mouse - Mus musculus domesticus

Coyote - Canis latrans

[⚔️Underdog] Sulfur Cave Molly - Poecilia sulphuraria 🥉

[⚔️Frontrunner] Leopard seal - Hydrurga leptonyx 🥉🥈

❌Defeated: Lion - Panthera leo 🥈🥉🥉[beat by Dolphin]

❌Defeated: Bornean orangutan - Pongo pygmaeus [beat by Giant Nematode]

❌Defeated: Hippopotamus - Hippopotamus amphibius 🥈🥈🥈 [beat by Brown Rat]

❌Defeated: Dog - Canis familiaris 🥉🥈 [beat by Leopard seal]

❌Defeated: Cat - Felis catus 🥉🥉🥉 [beat by Meerkat]

❌Defeated: Tiger - Panthera tigris 🥈🥈 [beat by Sulfur Cave Molly]

❌Defeated: Dolphin - Tursiops truncatus 🥉 [beat by Leopard Seal]

❌Defeated: Elephant - Loxodonta africana 🥈🥈[beat by Giant Nematode]

❌Defeated: Giant Panda - Ailuropoda melanoleuca [beat by Polar Bear]

❌Defeated: Penguin - Aptenodytes forsteri 🥉 [beat by Wolverine]

❌Defeated: Axolotl - Ambystoma mexicanum [beat by Great black-backed gull]

❌Defeated: Orca - Orcinus orca [beat by Housefly]

❌Defeated: Honey Badger - Mellivora capensis 🥈 [beat by Meerkat]

❌Defeated: Hotwheels sisyphus spider - Hotwheels sisyphus [beat by Saltwater Crocodile]

❌Defeated: Polar Bear - Ursus maritimus 🥈 [beat byt Cat]

❌Defeated: Saltwater Crocodile - Crocodylus porosus 🥈🥈🥈🥈 [beat by Red Fox]

🚫Ineligible: Water bear - Milnesium tardigradum

❌Defeated: Ping-Pong Tree Sponge - Chondrocladia concrescens 🥉 [beat by Prehistoric Elephant]

🚫Ineligible: human [I'm shortening this]

🚫Ineligible: Tardigrade (LFG)

❌Defeated: Great White Shark - Carcharodon carcharias [beat by Lion]

🚫Ineligible: [This animal was edited in bad faith]

❌Defeated: Blue Whale - Balaenoptera musculus [beat by Housefly]

❌Defeated: Wolf - Canis lupus [beat by Prehistoric Elephant]

❌Defeated: Red Fox - Vulpes vulpes 🥉🥈 [beat by Giant Pacific Octopus]

❌Defeated: Cliff Swallow - Petrochelidon pyrrhonota [beat by Elephant]

❌Defeated: Platypus - Ornithorhynchus anatinus 🥉🥉 [beat by Western Lowland Gorilla]

❌Defeated: Haast's Eagle - Hieraaetus moorei [beat by Prehistoric Elephant]

❌Defeated: Flightless Elephant Bird - Aepyornis maximus [beat by Saltwater Crocodile]

❌Defeated: Prehistoric Elephant - Palaeoloxodon namadicus [beat by Dog]🥉🥉🥈

❌Defeated: Pompeii Worm - Alvinella pompejana [beat by Cat]

❌Defeated: Sperm Whale - Physeter macrocephalus [beat by Ice Worm]

❌Defeated: Great evening bat - Ia io [beat by Lion]

❌Defeated: Funny valentine spider - Funny valentine [beat by Dermophis donaldtrumpi Caecilian]

❌Defeated: Yi qi dinosaur - Yi qi [beat by Elephant]

❌Defeated: Aha ha wasp - Aha ha [beat by Hippopotamus]

❌Defeated: Penis snake - Atretochoana eiselti [beat by Cat]

❌Defeated: Colossal Whale - Perucetus colossus [beat by Meerkat]

❌Defeated: Cuban Cockroach - Panchlora nivea [beat by Hippopotamus]

❌Defeated: Panther Chameleon - Furcifer pardalis [beat by Saltwater Crocodile]

❌Defeated: Giant Dragonfly - Meganeuropsis permiana [beat by Red Fox]

❌Defeated: Giant Pacific Octopus - Enteroctopus dofleini 🥉[beat by Ice Worm]

❌Defeated: Triceratops - Triceratops horridus [beat by Red Volcano Sponge]

❌Defeated: Giant Pterosaur - Quetzalcoatlus northropi [beat by Ping-Pong Tree Sponge]

❌Defeated: Lesser Flamingo - Phoeniconaias minor [beat by Honey Badger]

❌Defeated: Kiwi - Apteryx australis [beat by Dog]

❌Defeated: Red Volcano Sponge - Acarnus Erithacus 🥉[beat by Platypus]

❌Defeated: Ice Worm - Mesenchytraeus solifugus 🥉🥉[beat by Tiger]

❌Defeated: Meerkat - Suricata suricatta 🥉🥉🥉 [beat by Yellow-Lipped Sea Krait]

❌Defeated: Housefly - Musca domestica 🥉🥉🥉 [beat by Tiger]

❌Defeated: Feral pigeon - Columba livia urbana [beat by Housefly]

❌Defeated: Great black-backed gull - Larus marinus 🥉 [beat by Western lowland gorilla]

❌Defeated: Western lowland gorilla - Gorilla gorilla gorilla 🥈🥈🥈 [beat by Penguin]

❌Defeated: Eastern lowland gorilla - Gorilla beringei graueri [beat by Lion]

❌Defeated: Dermophis donaldtrumpi Caecilian - Dermophis donaldtrumpi 🥈[beat by Brownthroated three-toed sloth]

❌Defeated: New World Screwworm - Cochliomyia hominivorax [beat by Hippopotamus]

❌Defeated: Brownthroated three-toed sloth - Bradypus variegatus 🥉 [beat by Western lowland gorilla]

❌Defeated: Chinese giant salamander - Andrias davidianus [beat by Saltwater Crocodile]

🚫Ineligible: [edited in bad faith]

❌Defeated: Australopithecus - Australopithecus afarensis [beat by Platypus]

Stretch-and-fold after mixing, 3x every 30 min

3 iterations of stretch-and-fold, at any time during the 14h waiting period. Minimum wait time between iterations 1 hour

Place small ice cubes between parchment and pot instead of water

Add 1tsp of diastatic malt powder per 3cps of flour

Use tap water instead of fancy RO water

put butter into it

Toast the bread

Put a non-lethal dose of any rat poison.

Donate the bread to a food pantry, homeless person, or someone else in need

Add lots of butter (0.2 ml per gram)

Half yeast

Bake it with your best friend.

Use whole wheat to improve the nutrition of the bread

Bake for 5 more minutes

Bake for an amount of minutes equal to the percent this market answer is at when it comes time to begin baking. (Maintain the ±3 minute tolerances and the 2:1 ratio of time before:after the water spritz.)

Sprinkle 3 grams of flaky sea salt on top of each loaf before the second bake

Increase water by 50 g

it needs more salt

Replace all water spritz steps with a basting of extra virgin olive oil.

Diastatic malt (~1% baker's percentage) = happier yeast

Serve the bread hot

Use Iodized salt

Do a second rise

Create indentation, fill with melted cheese and butter

Don't eat anything for at least 48 hours before eating the bread

Add garlic

Use sourdough instead of yeast

Sprinkle sesame seeds evenly over the top

don't eat anything for at least 2400 hours before eating the bread

Buy bread from a michelin star restaurant.

Cut into the dough right before baking looks destructive to improve the appearance

Sell your bread at an auction and donate the money to those in immigration detention prisons.

Do it with a good spirit in your heart, or ask someone with a good spirit to do it for you. But don’t watch while they do it.

Give ChatGPT your current recipe as well your take on what optimal bread tastes like, then take that advice for your next bake

Just freeze the ready bread, then slowly bake it until it’s hot inside. It will give you a crustier crumb, contain less moisture, and taste better.

Strawberry jelly filling

Do all the changes in the top 5 open options by probability, excluding this option

Add an amount of non-smoked paprika equal to the current salt content

Short advice: Start baking at 260°C for strong rise, then reduce to 230°C and uncover halfway to achieve even browning and a crisp crust. 🍞

Don't automatically "Heat water to 30±1 °C". Instead, aim for a desired dough temperature (DDT) of 25-26°C. 30°C water is too hot for summer, and potentially too cool for winter.

Use the same dough bake it as focaccia. Flat with EVOO added during shaped rise and baste with EVOO instead of spraying water during baking.

put ketchup and cheese on it

Don't eat anything for at least 24 hours before eating the bread

Add slurs to it

Make all of the ingredients from scratch.

Ask ChatGPT (GPT-5, with thinking enabled) for suggestions on improving the bread, with this market description, then do all of them.

Get recipe from gemini with experiments done, taste preference, then confirm it with chatgpt for final suggestion.

Try baking a little more "bien cuit". If the image is indicative, your loaves may be quite "blonde".

Substitute 75 g of your flour with spelt flour

Make the bread taste good

Put a baking rack in the Dutch oven before putting the loaf in, raising the loaf off the floor and lofting it over a layer of air.

Invest in a "Bakers Steel" for better heat retention and oven spring. It would mean graduating from a dutch oven though.

If your city uses artesian water, replace plastic bottled water with tap water. It will add natural, healthy alkalinity to your bread.

throw your recipe into a black box Bayesian hyperparameter optimization framework and iterate as necessary (see the Google Vizier Cookie Recipe paper for example

Watch the video

Ditch current process, do everything the same as the video

Bread flour, 3x yeast, cut rise to ~3h

Use lemonade instead of water.

Eat the bread while punching @realDonaldTrump in the face

Eat the bread while watching your mana balance steadily tick to (M)0

Throw the bread at a telescope

Cut bread into loaves before serving

Cut bread into ≤0.4inch slices, toast before serving

Invite your taste-testers to make the bread with you

Tarriff the bread-making process with a 10% reduction of all ingredients where actual physical money is required to purchase them, until it “shrinkflates,” but try to keep the same volume. Do not reduce any free ingredients.

Standardize a separate list of process features to keep track of independently of all other tests and use the cross entropy method to tune them to maximize your bread preference

Taste the bread

put oats on top of the dough just before baking, press them in so they don't fall off

Buy chemical bread improvers

Add 6.25±1.25 g lemon juice when mixing in water to yeast and salt jug

add 'gunpowder' (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idli_podi)

Make banana bread

Add 1/2 scoop whey protein powder

Replace part of the flour in the dough with freshly crushed hemp seeds. It will make the bread a little bit sweeter, especially appealing for Canadians.

Add cheese inside it and also sausage

Add melatonin to the bread and eat before you sleep (do safely)

Eat it slowly and focus on the taste

While the bread is baking, tip every user who voted "Yes" on this option 25 Mana

Use a food-grade, human-approved vitamin D supplement in the correct dosage for testers with vitamin D deficiency

Use a convection oven/setting

Keep the bread in a high quality expensive beeswax coated textile bag

Complete 5 items from your to-do list while the bread is rising

Make the bread great again

Mix only flour and water. Wait 30–60 minutes. Then mix in yeast and salt.

Add caffeine to the bread

Use soda instead of water (clear, orange, yellow, etc. soda is ok. Don’t use a purple/brown soda as that would make it not look good)

Butter resolved yes twice. Double butter again.

Decompose it into infinite spheres, then a few parts per sphere, rotate the spheres by arccos(1/3), unite them and you will find 2 chilis (Banach-Tarski)

Give Gemini your current recipe as well your take on what optimal bread tastes like, then take that advice for your next bake

Bake the Manifold Crane into the Bread

Make the bread edible then throw it in

Drink vodka while eating the bread

Bake the bread into a fun shape, like a fish, or an octagon

Do FOLDED

Quit Manifold into the bread.

Kill the bread into Manifold.

Assume the chili is not in the interval [0,1], square it for more chili, if it is in (0,1), take the square root, else (equals 0 or 1) add 1 to it.

Assume the chili is in the interval (0,1), square it for less chili, if it is in (1,infinity) take the square root, if it is in (-infinity,0) take the negative of the square of the of the chile, else (equals 0 or 1) subtract 1 from it.

Add 2 tbsp vanilla cake mix

Replace AP with bread flour and cruelly mix the dough in the mixer until elastic and not sticky

Add a tablespoon of sugar

Bake one more minute

Follow a recipe online

Grind/powderize all salt used into a fine powder (with pestle & mortar or similar device)

Instead of RO water, use lightly rusty water to improve the nutritional value of the bread with soluble iron.

Add at least 20% chic pea flour or some other type of high protein flour

Knead it only 10 times, keep it round like this number

Ask yourself if bread is healthier than fruits? No need to improve my bread

Bake for 15 more minutes

Resolve at least one thing here yes or no while baking bread

A system view is more appropriate. This is a dynamic, multi-variate, biological and chemical system. For e.g. conditioning salt % AND yeast % AND water temperature based on ingredient and ambient temps.

Wear a suit while baking the cake.

Encourage people to participate in the market in good faith while making the bread

Replace salt with sugar

replace 10% of flour with farina bona

Have someone sell the bread to you at an expensive price

Only buy ingredients from 7/11.

Cook the bread with a rod/puck of aluminum foil (or similar) in the core in an attempt to conduct heat through the center of the bread, cooking it evenly like a doughnut.

Get your friends to help you make a batch ten times the size, but add a Pepper X (2.7M Scoville heat units) to the mixture

Replace 10% of flour with milled wheat bran

Slowly add sawdust to the bread until your friends start to notice.

Replace all water spritz steps with a basting of gravy that includes chicken stock

Mail the bread to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington D.C.

Replace 600+/-5g water with 600+/-50g water (eyeball rather than carefully measure)

Pray to your preferred agricultural/food deity before baking and before eating

Soak the finished product in vinegar for 24 hours

Ship a piece of the bread to a random person.

Frost it and put sprinkles on it to make it a birthday cake.

Add as many Jack Daniel's whiskey barrel smoking chips as feasible to the Dutch oven before baking, physically separating them from the bread as necessary while baking.

Give the bread a name in a ritual ceremony and baptise it, with pre-blessed holy water if a priest isn't available

Improve the bread

Quadruple salt

Combine all answers that are unresolved at the time you try this one

Bake your social security number into it.

Bake one fewer minute

Bake the cake while wearing a onesie.

Test/filter the water for heavy metals

Eat the bread in front of the White House.

Implement all options that resolved NO

Make the bread inedible then throw it out.

Throw the bread at @realDonaldTrump

Force Feed it to @realDonaldTrump

Cut the bread into the number of traders in the market slices.

make the bread bounce

Implementing every element listed below.

Just make donuts instead

Bake it in an easy bake kids oven

Use a plastic baking sheet.

Eat the bread while betting yes on Cuomo on Manifold

Double oven temperature

Bake the bread very thin and add food coloring to make it have the US flag. Don’t allow it to touch the ground, illuminate at night, fold 13 times properly, and pledge allegiance before eating.

Don’t use usual water (room temperature) for the dough - that water’s only for toilets. Use electrolyte drinks instead with ice cubes; they make the dough taste better and add extra nutrition.

Light it on fire with birthday candles.

Bake it with a microwave

Halve oven temperature

Eat the bread while betting yes on Mamdani on Manifold

Step on it

Bring it to Yemen and put a bomb in it

Bake America Great Again

Sacrifice a lamb

Add MAGA and a splash of Trump juice

Bake in a cat and a dog

Explode it:

5 parts cyanide/ 1 part water/ 1 part sand

say 6 7 67 times before making the bread

Take a fat dump in the dough

Sit in dough 24 hrs

Replace flour with flowers

Let dough sit 24 hrs

Mix half sodium/potassium chloride

Add 2g? of baking soda

Bake in rectangular tin

Add 50g vital wheat gluten

double yeast

halve salt

Double salt

Add 2tsp olive oil

Refrigerate dough instead of room temp wait

Start at 500F, drop to 450F and uncover half way through

Do not mix salt and yeast in water together

Autolyse 20 minutes

Let dough rise on counter only until double volume or 2h max, any time longer in fridge

Think positive thoughts before tasting

Put fork in microwave

Don't eat anything for at least 12 hours before eating the bread

Add 2tbsp vanilla extract

Play classical music while baking

Make naan bread, an easy-to-make bread

Add a pinch of sugar

Bake on upside-down sheet pan, covered with Dutch oven

Eat the bread with friends

Bake vegimite into it.

Bake vodka into it

Bake it in the country you were born in.

Let dough sit 48 hrs

Resolve this option YES while eating the bread

Ditch all the steps. Just buy the bread from the supermarket

Eat the bread over the course of a week.

Bake for 5 fewer minutes

Use 50% whole grain flour

Bake the bread with love

Use King Arthur Bread Flour instead of All-Purpose

Add sawdust to increase the volume of the bread (but only like 10% sawdust by volume max. maybe 20% if it's good sawdust)

More steam! Either spritz with more water (preferably hot) or actually pour some boiling water in just before closing the lid.

Resolve this option NO while eating the bread

Incorporate a whole grain flour (buckwheat for example)

Add 50g sugar

Add 50g honey

Swap 200ml water for milk

Cover bread with damp paper towel instead of initial water spritz. Rehydrate paper towel during 2nd spritz. Remove paper towel before placing on cooling rack.

Make a poolish 12 h ahead: 100 g flour + 100 g water + 0.8 g yeast (0.1 %). After it ferments, use this poolish in place of 100 g flour and 100 g water in the final dough.

Add an amount of MSG equivalent to half the current salt content

Use flour made from an unconventional grain e.g. barley, millet, oats, rye, sorghum, maize etc.

Eat the bread while sending all your mana to @realDonaldTrump

Add 1/2 cup yogurt to the bread and name the bread “gurt” while addressing it with “yo, gurt”.

Add banana

Add poppy seeds

Replace some of the water with an egg (eg. remove 25g of water for a 50g egg)

Only use tap water from specifically New York City

Want to improve the value of your bread? Simply bake a piece of gold into it

YES

Bo Brahson as Princess Zelda

Benjamin Evan Ainsworth as Link

Dichen Lachman as Impa

Masi Oka as Tingle

[This market will have the actor for Ganondorf submitted before it is announced/leaked]

Kristen Schaal as Navi

[This market will have the actor for Link submitted before it is announced/leaked]

Zelda Williams as Great Fairy

Finn Wolfhard as Skull Kid

Emily Kuroda as Impa

Sacha Baron Cohen as Tingle

Jack Black as Morshu

Tilda Swinton as Impa

Chris Pratt as Groose

[This market will have the actor for Zelda submitted before it is announced/leaked]

Idris Elba as Ganondorf

Dave Bautista as Ganondorf

Henry Cavill as Ganondorf

Tilda Swinton as Ganandorf

Timothée Chalamet as Link

Emma Watson as Zelda

Justice Smith as Link

Jacob Tremblay as Link

Tom Holland as Link

Hunter Schafer as Zelda

Thomasin McKenzie as Zelda

Thomas Brodie-Sangster as Link

Hugo Weaving as Ganondorf

Mackenyu as Link

Sophia Lillis as Zelda

F1nn5ter as Link

Assassin's Creed Shadows

Red Dead Redemption 2

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33

Halo: The Master Chief Collection

Call of Duty: Black Ops 7

Assassin's Creed Mirage

Microsoft Flight Simulator 2024

Crimson Desert

Grand Theft Auto VI

Grand Theft Auto IV

Metal Gear Solid Delta: Snake Eater

Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege

Grand Theft Auto V

Any WIMPs or Axions not listed in other answers

Primordial Black Holes

No Clear Leading Theory

Other

Modified Gravity Theories

Combination of particle types

Second Flavor Hydrogen Atoms

Matter outside of our 3D space

Gravitons

Red Dead Redemption 3

Monster Hunter WIlds

Haunted Chocolatier

Far Cry 7

Fable

Elder Scrolls 6

Hades 2

Grand Theft Auto 6

Kingdom Hearts 4

S&box

Slitterhead

The Last of Us 3

Persona 6

2XKO

Silksong

Skate 4

Rivals of Aether 2

Splatoon 4

Frostpunk 2

Hearts of Iron 5

Civilization 7

ARMA 4

Death Stranding 2

Black Myth: Wukong

After a week in theaters have sell less than half the tickets of Nolan version in the same timeframe

It get's officially cancelled

Three months after wide US release it has a IMDB score below 5.0

Black character, if any, is slave

Odysseys is played by an ethnically Greek actor.

The movie is released before 2030 (market close)