Brent News

Adolf Hitler

George Santos

Benito Mussolini

Vladimir Putin

Joseph Stalin

Kanye West

Kim Jong-un

Derek Chauvin

Xi Jinping

Jeffrey Epstein

Marjorie Taylor Greene

Dan Schneider

David Duke

Tucker Carlson

Mao Zedong

Viktor Orbán

Genghis Khan

Ayatollah Ali Khamenei

Thanos

Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars

Dolores Umbridge

Nero (Roman emperor)

Bill Cipher

Curtis Yarvin

Nick Land

Shaun King

Caligula

King Leopold II of Belgium

Negan Smith

Alex Jones

Augusto Pinochet

Recep Tayyip Erdoğan

A paperclip-maximizing AGI

Lauren Boebert

Pennywise, the clown from “It”

Vlad the Impaler

Saddam Hussein

Commodus

Cthulhu

Hirohito

Lucifer, the King of Hell / Satan

Joffrey Baratheon

Sauron

Hong Xiuquan

SCP-682

Uday Hussein

Nicolas Maduro

Jabba the Hutt

Kyle Rittenhouse

Lee Harvey Oswald

Robert Edward Lee

Pol Pot

The Master / Harry Saxon (from Doctor Who)

Anders Breivik

Voldemort

Chris Benoit

Rush Limbaugh

Gannondorf

Bobby Fischer

Charles Manson

The Mad King Aerys Targaryen II

Jair Bolsonaro

Drake

Hugo Chavez

Chris Chan

Phillipe Petain

A random convicted murderer

A large asteroid, plummeting towards Earth's gravity well

Andrew Tate

Dylan Klebold

A severe case of ulcerative colitis

A time traveler who can only go back in time to kill Hitler if he isn't busy being president

Donald Trump

Kang and/or Kodos

Satan

Josh Hawley

A random citizen with diagnosed paranoid schizophrenia and a dependence on stimulants

Albert Speer

Ibrahim abu Bakr Awad Ibrahim Ali al-Badri al-Baghdadi

Steve Bannon

Cersei Lannister

A randomly-chosen prisoner in the US carceral system, sentenced for life

Ron Unz

Ivan the terrible

Otto Skorzeny

Karl Donitz

Trump's attempted assassin

Christoper Rufo

John Hinckley Jr.

The Loc-Nar

The Grim Reaper

Charles "Chuck" Johnson

Pat Buchanan

A random citizen but he thinks inflation increasing by 200% in a year would be "really cool"

Whatifalthist

Franz von Papen

A virulently antisemitic but otherwise well-meaning person

Erich von Manstein

Nikita Khrushchev

Judas Iscariot

Lyndon LaRouche

Joseph McCarthy

The CEO of MALIBAL

Erich Ludendorff

Mark Foley

Andronikos II Palaiologos

Liu Shan

Roko

Alana "Honey Boo Boo" Thompson

Godzilla

Hasan Piker / Hasanabi

Unabomber

Jozef Tiso

Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho

Thomas Midgley Jr.

Alfred Packer

Brent Dill

Steve Sailer

Erwin Rommel

Gongsun Yuan

Hasso von Manteuffel

King John

EMIL OLE WILLIAM KIRKEGAARD

qin shi huang

Shang Yang

Richard Lynn

James Longstreet

A cockroach

Niko Bellic

Commodus

Tito

an asi agent from openai

The exhumed corpse of George Washington (rather than alive during his prime), with a sign around his neck at all times reading 'slave owner' in red lettering

Vriska Serket

Miklos Horthy

Franz Joseph 1

WILLY ON WHEELS

J. Philippe Rushton

Lu Bu

Yuan Shikai

Yuan Shu

Juan Peron

Connor Duffy

Faust

Paul Von Hindenburg

Charles XII of Sweden

Zhou Enlai

Samuel Alito

@StochasticParrot (Stochastic Cockatoo)

Marlo Stanfield (The Wire)

Darkstalker (Wings of Fire)

Hunter Biden's laptop

Giego Caleiro

Fredrick Robert Brennan

Jeremy Nixon

Charles Murray

Paul Ehrlich

Michael de Santa

anatoly karlin

Jonathan Anomaly

Alexey Guzey

Violent Jay and Shaggy 2 Dope (as co-presidents)

Yuan Shao

Jar Jar Binks

JD Vance

Karl Marx

Peter Thiel

Liang Mong-song

Lucy Guo

A randomly chosen child (<13) who does not speak English and who has never been to North or Central America

Stephen Hsu

James Buchanan

Mehmed V

Klaus Schwab

Sean Hannity

Rochelle Shen

Black Hat (XKCD)

King George III of England

Ada Nguyen

James Dewey Watson

Laura Gao

Claire Wang

@ButtocksCocktoasten

Jiang Zemin

Any child of Trump (randomly selected)

Salvador Allende

Rorschach

Wario

A literal ham sandwich

goth600

Petyr Baelish / Littlefinger

Elagabalus

Biden, but as a worm (i.e., Would you still vote for Biden if he was a worm?)

A well meaning person with severe short term memory issues causing them to wake up every day not realizing that they are the President

Light Yagami

Neville Chamberlain

Rod Blagojevich

Brian Chau (@psychosort)

Emperor Ling of Han

Chris Brown

Richard Watterson (from Gumball)

Tronald Dump, his counterpart in the Mirror Universe

Hans Niemann

Silvio Berlusconi

Timothy Leary

John Edwards

Lex Luthor

George Floyd

Hunter Biden

Razib Khan

Kim Dotcom

Waluigi

Bad Bunny

Deng Xiaoping

Empress Dowager Cixi

A prostitute from the alleged Trump pee tape

A randomly picked Muslim citizen of the US

Brian Tomasik

Your mom

Eren Yeager

THEAMAZINGATHEIST

Richard Hanania

A random citizen of slightly below average intelligence who drinks 1 beer a day and has no high school diploma

Chuck Norris

You (Are you really willing to take on the responsibilities of the presidency yourself to avoid giving them to Trump?)

Ray Shaun Elussy

Lucille Bluth

Michael Vassar

An automated veto stamp (vetoes everything put in front of it, incapable of public speaking)

Kristi Noem's dog

Moses (Bible)

Yourself right now

Elizabeth Holmes

Eminem

Stan Smith

A random citizen of average intelligence who drinks three beers a day and has a highschool diploma

Justin Trudeau

Futarchy (Manifold users)

Nicky Case

Santa Claus

Robespierre

Yourself from 15 years ago

Greta Thunberg

@strutheo :)

Their child, who has become a juggalo, a furry, and a brony

Bill Gates

Gavin Newsom

Hillary Clinton

Walter White

Chat GPT

Eliezer Yudkowsky

Destiny

George Soros

Bill Cosby

Ellen DeGeneres

Harvey Weinstein

Kamala Harris

Ron DeSantis

A can of beans

George W. Bush

Richard Nixon

Jeremy Corbyn

Joe Biden

Julius Caesar

Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Benjamin Netanyahu

Yasser Arafat

Shinzo Abe

Gus Fring

Frank Underwood

Mr Burns

Mr Krabs

Peter Griffin

Homer Simpson

Hank Hill

Cruella De Vil

Senator Armstrong (Metal Gear Rising)

Ibram X. Kendi

Rachel Dolezal

Nayib Bukele

Ayn Rand

Barack Obama

Young Sheldon

Tony Soprano

Patrick Bateman (American Psycho)

Dr Robotnik / Eggman

Vivek Ramaswamy

Taylor Swift

Joe Rogan

Javier Milei

Emmanuel Macron

Doctor Manhattan

Bill Clinton

Donkey Kong

Rudy Giuliani

An autopen (signs everything put in front of it, incapable of public speaking)

Sam Bankman-Fried

Cedric the Entertainer

Glenn Quagmire

Scott Adams (Dilbert cartoonist)

Gollum/Smeagol

Matthew Yglesias

Vaush

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas

Donald Trump Jr

Napoleon Bonaparte

Jordan Peterson

Scar (lion king)

Margaret Thatcher

Andrew Johnson

Bill Ackman

Bernie Madoff

Jussie Smollet

Avon Barksdale

Yann Lecun

The nominee of the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party

Elon Musk

Paul Atreides

Cenk Uygur

Georgia Meloni

Boris Johnson

Trump from the 80s-90s

Shirley Temple

Mark Rutte

Michael Jackson

James (manifold)

Austin (manifold)

George Washington

Zaphod Beeblebrox

Mr Garrison (South Park)

Lee Pace

Muhammad the prophet

Jose Luis Ricon

BasedBeffJezos

Mike Pence

Nate Silver

Shai-Hulud (sandworms from Dune)

Confucius

hari seldon

Teddy Roosevelt

Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Angela Merkel

Jacinda Ardern

shaq

elvis

random manifold user

abe lincoln

bruce springsteen

billy joel

Rishi Sunak

Scott Alexander's Presidential Platform https://www.astralcodexten.com/p/my-presidential-platform

buddha

satoshi nakamoto

US bombs Iran’s nuclear facility

Iran bomb a gulf country (inclusive of offshore platforms)

UN Security Council proposes a cease-fire resolution

Iran fires missiles that land within 50km of Tel Aviv or Jerusalem

Iranian General killed inside Iran

Donald Trump declares victory

Iranian government official declares victory

China attempts to broker a cease-fire/peace deal

US ally publicy condemns actions of US in regard to conflict

G7 member publicly condemns actions of US in regard to conflict

Trump's June 23 Cease-fire announcement is honored for at least 7 days

Iran imposes a nationwide internet shutdown lasting ≥ 24 hours

War ends in 2025

500+ Iranian civilians killed

US aid to Israel exceeds $17.9 billion for calendar year

Fordow facility successfully bombed

Coverage of ICE protests never recovers following the bombing of Iran's nuclear sites

Israel publicly accused of violating a UN cease-fire resolution by the United Nations or a major international body

Iran is back to negotiations with US about a nuclear deal

Israel confirmed to have deployed troops on Iranian soil

Iran publicly accused of violating a UN cease-fire resolution by the United Nations or a major international body

Natanz Nuclear Facility destroyed

The International Criminal Court opens a formal war-crimes investigation tied to the 2025 Israel-Iran conflict

Israel government dissolves

Iranian national arrested for espionage in USA

Iran launches a cruise missile

At least one UNESCO World Heritage site in Israel or Iran is officially reported damaged by hostilities

Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei replaced for any reason

North Korea provides material support to Iran (weapons, money, etc.)

Iranian government official killed via small arms fire/special operations (not air/drone strike)

A terrorist event planned by Iran in a 3rd country targeting Israelis or Jews is successfully executed (5+ deaths)

Multiple Iranian government members chant "death to [non-NATO country]"

Cease-fire broken by any party, causing conflict to resume

Iranian national arrested for planning/executing terrorism in USA

Cease-fire resolution passed by UN Security Council

A poll indicates US citizen support for involvement of US in conflict is less than 25%

A second cease-fire is announced

Iran seizes a G7-flagged ship in Hormuz

Iran cause a mass casualty event (20+ deaths) by a single missle in Israel

A warship exceeding 1000 tons is sank

USA vetoes a proposed UN cease-fire resolution

Straight of Hormuz is closed for less than 72 hours

Iran officially exits the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty

There is a major Iranian cyberattack against the United States.

Russia delivers S-400 (or better) air defense system to Iran

Major media source (BBC, NYT, Fox, CNN, etc.) refers to American involvement as "Iraq 2.0" or similar

WTI Crude futures reach 90usd/bll (NYME:CL.1)

>=1 USA servicemember killed in connection with this conflict

>=1 USA civilian killed in connection with this conflict

Wikipedia lists Syria as a beligerent for more than 24 hours

USA conducts a second bombing in Iran

A fifth generation fighter jet is destroyed

Hezbollah initiates attacks on Israel (2 or more days of strikes, publicly announced by Hezbollah)

Netanyahu is replaced for any reason (no longer acting prime minister)

Several terrorist attacks on U.S. soil causes casualties ( at least 2 attacks and 1 death)

Turkey invokes NATO Article 4 consultations over the Israel-Iran conflict

Civilian manned aircraft destroyed in Iran, Iraq, Syria, Jordan, or Israel airspace

Iranian government dissolves

Israel uses an EMP or directed energy weapon

Holy sites of Israel are destroyed after the war.

A poll indicates US citizen support for involvement of US in conflict is less than 10%

Tel-aviv stock exchange closes for a full trading day

Iran regime change

War Ends in June

Israel targets Iranian *production* or *export* oriented energy facility (refineries and storage for internal use don’t count)

Iran successfully bomb an Israeli civilian power plant or offshore platform

Russia stations combat jets on Iran soil

UN Security Council passes new Iran arms embargo with no vetoes

Saudi Arabia attacks Iran

Any amount of Israeli Merkava tanks are destroyed

Ayatollah Khamenei dies unnaturally

Iran closes the Strait of Hormuz

Brent crude closes ≥ $130 per barrel before 1 Jan 2026

There is a major foreign or terrorist attack on U.S. soil that kills 100+ people.

Total casualties exceed 10,000

Trump is frustrated that even by bombing another country he still can’t get any woman to find him attractive

War ends in July

Iran tests a nuclear weapon

Transitional Iranian government headed by Reza Pahlavi

State with >250k active military personnel joins war on side of Iran

Qatar attacks Iran

≥ 100 000 people flee Iran into Turkey or Iraq as registered refugees because of the conflict

US invasion (boots on the ground, special forces not included)

Will resolve to the number of days until a ceasefire (max 100). Ceasefire: one airspace is opened (at the very least). Stars June 21 2025

A nuclear weapon is used offensively.

Oklahoma - Brent Venables

Auburn - Hugh Freeze

Arkansas - Sam Pittman

Missouri - Eli Drinkwitz

Kentucky - Mark Stoops

LSU - Brian Kelly

Ole Miss - Lane Kiffin

South Carolina - Shane Beamer

Florida - Billy Napier

Mississippi State - Jeff Lebby

Tennessee - Josh Heupel

Texas - Steve Sarkisian

Vanderbilt - Clark Lea

Texas A&M - Mike Elko

Alabama - Kalen DeBoer

Stanford - Frank Reich

North Carolina - Bill Belichick

NC State - Dave Doeren

Virginia Tech - Brent Pry

Louisville - Jeff Brohm

California - Justin Wilcox

Pittsburgh - Pat Narduzzi

Florida State - Mike Norvell

Wake Forest - Jake Dickert

Duke - Manny Diaz

Clemson - Dabo Swinney

Boston College - Bill O'Brien

Oklahoma State - Mike Gundy

Houston - Willie Fritz

Arizona - Brent Brennan

Arizona State - Kenny Dillingham

Colorado - Deion Sanders

Iowa State - Matt Campbell

Kansas State - Chris Klieman

TCU - Sonny Dykes

Texas Tech - Joey McGuire

BYU - Kalani Sitake

Cincinnati - Scott Satterfield

Kansas - Lance Leipold

Baylor - Dave Aranda

Utah - Kyle Whittingham

UCF - Scott Frost

YES

Patrick Stewart

Brent Spiner

Denise Crosby

Michael Dorn

LeVar Burton

Jonathan Frakes

Gates McFadden

Marina Sirtis

YES

NO