Eagles News

Cape Buffalo - Syncerus caffer caffer

Yellow-Lipped Sea Krait - Laticauda colubrina 🥉

Common Bed Bug - Cimex lectularius

Giant Nematode - Placentonema gigantissima 🥉🥉

Sonoran Desert Sidewinder - Crotalus cerastes cercobombus

House Mouse - Mus musculus domesticus

Coyote - Canis latrans

Leopard seal - Hydrurga leptonyx 🥉

Western lowland gorilla - Gorilla gorilla gorilla 🥈🥈🥈

[⚔️Underdog] Dolphin - Tursiops truncatus

Penguin - Aptenodytes forsteri

Brown Rat - Rattus norvegicus 🥉

Sea Otter - Enhydra lutris

Wolverine - Gulo gulo

Sulfur Cave Molly - Poecilia sulphuraria 🥉

❌Defeated: Tiger - Panthera tigris 🥈🥈 [beat by Sulfur Cave Molly]

[⚔️Frontrunner] Lion - Panthera leo 🥈🥉🥉

❌Defeated: Bornean orangutan - Pongo pygmaeus [beat by Giant Nematode]

❌Defeated: Hippopotamus - Hippopotamus amphibius 🥈🥈🥈 [beat by Brown Rat]

❌Defeated: Dog - Canis familiaris 🥉🥈 [beat by Leopard seal]

❌Defeated: Cat - Felis catus 🥉🥉🥉 [beat by Meerkat]

❌Defeated: Elephant - Loxodonta africana 🥈🥈[beat by Giant Nematode]

❌Defeated: Giant Panda - Ailuropoda melanoleuca [beat by Polar Bear]

❌Defeated: Axolotl - Ambystoma mexicanum [beat by Great black-backed gull]

❌Defeated: Orca - Orcinus orca [beat by Housefly]

❌Defeated: Honey Badger - Mellivora capensis 🥈 [beat by Meerkat]

❌Defeated: Hotwheels sisyphus spider - Hotwheels sisyphus [beat by Saltwater Crocodile]

❌Defeated: Polar Bear - Ursus maritimus 🥈 [beat byt Cat]

❌Defeated: Saltwater Crocodile - Crocodylus porosus 🥈🥈🥈🥈 [beat by Red Fox]

🚫Ineligible: Water bear - Milnesium tardigradum

❌Defeated: Ping-Pong Tree Sponge - Chondrocladia concrescens 🥉 [beat by Prehistoric Elephant]

🚫Ineligible: human [I'm shortening this]

🚫Ineligible: Tardigrade (LFG)

❌Defeated: Great White Shark - Carcharodon carcharias [beat by Lion]

🚫Ineligible: [This animal was edited in bad faith]

❌Defeated: Blue Whale - Balaenoptera musculus [beat by Housefly]

❌Defeated: Wolf - Canis lupus [beat by Prehistoric Elephant]

❌Defeated: Red Fox - Vulpes vulpes 🥉🥈 [beat by Giant Pacific Octopus]

❌Defeated: Cliff Swallow - Petrochelidon pyrrhonota [beat by Elephant]

❌Defeated: Platypus - Ornithorhynchus anatinus 🥉🥉 [beat by Western Lowland Gorilla]

❌Defeated: Haast's Eagle - Hieraaetus moorei [beat by Prehistoric Elephant]

❌Defeated: Flightless Elephant Bird - Aepyornis maximus [beat by Saltwater Crocodile]

❌Defeated: Prehistoric Elephant - Palaeoloxodon namadicus [beat by Dog]🥉🥉🥈

❌Defeated: Pompeii Worm - Alvinella pompejana [beat by Cat]

❌Defeated: Sperm Whale - Physeter macrocephalus [beat by Ice Worm]

❌Defeated: Great evening bat - Ia io [beat by Lion]

❌Defeated: Funny valentine spider - Funny valentine [beat by Dermophis donaldtrumpi Caecilian]

❌Defeated: Yi qi dinosaur - Yi qi [beat by Elephant]

❌Defeated: Aha ha wasp - Aha ha [beat by Hippopotamus]

❌Defeated: Penis snake - Atretochoana eiselti [beat by Cat]

❌Defeated: Colossal Whale - Perucetus colossus [beat by Meerkat]

❌Defeated: Cuban Cockroach - Panchlora nivea [beat by Hippopotamus]

❌Defeated: Panther Chameleon - Furcifer pardalis [beat by Saltwater Crocodile]

❌Defeated: Giant Dragonfly - Meganeuropsis permiana [beat by Red Fox]

❌Defeated: Giant Pacific Octopus - Enteroctopus dofleini 🥉[beat by Ice Worm]

❌Defeated: Triceratops - Triceratops horridus [beat by Red Volcano Sponge]

❌Defeated: Giant Pterosaur - Quetzalcoatlus northropi [beat by Ping-Pong Tree Sponge]

❌Defeated: Lesser Flamingo - Phoeniconaias minor [beat by Honey Badger]

❌Defeated: Kiwi - Apteryx australis [beat by Dog]

❌Defeated: Red Volcano Sponge - Acarnus Erithacus 🥉[beat by Platypus]

❌Defeated: Ice Worm - Mesenchytraeus solifugus 🥉🥉[beat by Tiger]

❌Defeated: Meerkat - Suricata suricatta 🥉🥉🥉 [beat by Yellow-Lipped Sea Krait]

❌Defeated: Housefly - Musca domestica 🥉🥉🥉 [beat by Tiger]

❌Defeated: Feral pigeon - Columba livia urbana [beat by Housefly]

❌Defeated: Great black-backed gull - Larus marinus 🥉 [beat by Western lowland gorilla]

❌Defeated: Eastern lowland gorilla - Gorilla beringei graueri [beat by Lion]

❌Defeated: Dermophis donaldtrumpi Caecilian - Dermophis donaldtrumpi 🥈[beat by Brownthroated three-toed sloth]

❌Defeated: New World Screwworm - Cochliomyia hominivorax [beat by Hippopotamus]

❌Defeated: Brownthroated three-toed sloth - Bradypus variegatus 🥉 [beat by Western lowland gorilla]

❌Defeated: Chinese giant salamander - Andrias davidianus [beat by Saltwater Crocodile]

🚫Ineligible: [edited in bad faith]

❌Defeated: Australopithecus - Australopithecus afarensis [beat by Platypus]

Sean McVay - Los Angeles Rams (2017)

Dan Campbell - Detroit Lions (2021)

Kyle Shanahan - San Francisco 49ers (2017)

Kevin O'Connell - Minnesota Vikings (2022)

Matt LaFleur - Green Bay Packers (2019)

DeMarco Ryans - Houston Texans (2023)

Shane Steichan - Indianapolis Colts (2023)

Zac Taylor - Cincinnati Bengals (2019)

Nick Sirianni - Philadelphia Eagles (2021)

Todd Bowles - Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2022)

Sean Payton - Denver Broncos (2023)

Andy Reid - Kansas City Chiefs (2013)

M̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶T̶o̶m̶l̶i̶n̶ ̶-̶ ̶P̶i̶t̶t̶s̶b̶u̶r̶g̶h̶ ̶S̶t̶e̶e̶l̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶(̶2̶0̶0̶7̶)̶

J̶o̶h̶n̶ ̶H̶a̶r̶b̶a̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶-̶ ̶B̶a̶l̶t̶i̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶R̶a̶v̶e̶n̶s̶ ̶(̶2̶0̶0̶8̶)̶

S̶e̶a̶n̶ ̶M̶c̶D̶e̶r̶m̶o̶t̶t̶ ̶-̶ ̶B̶u̶f̶f̶a̶l̶o̶ ̶B̶i̶l̶l̶s̶ ̶(̶2̶0̶1̶7̶)̶

K̶e̶v̶i̶n̶ ̶S̶t̶e̶f̶a̶n̶s̶k̶i̶ ̶-̶ ̶C̶l̶e̶v̶e̶l̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶B̶r̶o̶w̶n̶s̶ ̶(̶2̶0̶2̶0̶)̶

M̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶M̶c̶C̶a̶r̶t̶h̶y̶ ̶-̶ ̶D̶a̶l̶l̶a̶s̶ ̶C̶o̶w̶b̶o̶y̶s̶ ̶(̶2̶0̶2̶0̶)̶ ̶-̶ ̶L̶e̶t̶ ̶G̶o̶ ̶1̶/̶1̶3̶/̶2̶0̶2̶5̶

M̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶M̶c̶D̶a̶n̶i̶e̶l̶ ̶-̶ ̶M̶i̶a̶m̶i̶ ̶D̶o̶l̶p̶h̶i̶n̶s̶ ̶(̶2̶0̶2̶2̶)̶

̶B̶r̶i̶a̶n̶ ̶D̶a̶b̶o̶l̶l̶ ̶-̶ ̶N̶e̶w̶ ̶Y̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶G̶i̶a̶n̶t̶s̶ ̶(̶2̶0̶2̶2̶)̶ ̶-̶1̶1̶/̶1̶0̶/̶2̶0̶2̶5̶

D̶o̶u̶g̶ ̶P̶e̶d̶e̶r̶s̶o̶n̶ ̶-̶ ̶J̶a̶c̶k̶s̶o̶n̶v̶i̶l̶l̶e̶ ̶J̶a̶g̶u̶a̶r̶s̶ ̶(̶2̶0̶2̶2̶)̶ ̶-̶ ̶F̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶(̶1̶/̶6̶/̶2̶0̶2̶5̶)̶

A̶n̶t̶o̶n̶i̶o̶ ̶P̶i̶e̶r̶c̶e̶ ̶-̶ ̶L̶a̶s̶ ̶V̶e̶g̶a̶s̶ ̶R̶a̶i̶d̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶(̶2̶0̶2̶3̶)̶ ̶-̶ ̶F̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶(̶1̶/̶7̶/̶2̶0̶2̶5̶)̶

B̶̶i̶̶l̶̶l̶̶ B̶̶e̶̶l̶̶i̶̶c̶̶h̶̶i̶̶c̶̶k̶̶ -̶̶ N̶̶e̶̶w̶̶ E̶̶n̶̶g̶̶l̶̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶̶ P̶̶a̶̶t̶̶r̶̶i̶̶o̶̶t̶̶s̶̶ (̶̶2̶̶0̶̶0̶̶0̶̶)̶̶ -̶ F̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ (̶1̶/1̶1̶/2̶0̶2̶3̶)̶

P̶e̶t̶e̶ C̶a̶r̶r̶o̶l̶l̶ -̶ S̶e̶a̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ S̶e̶a̶h̶a̶w̶k̶s̶ (̶2̶0̶1̶0̶) -̶ F̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ (̶1̶/1̶0̶/2̶0̶2̶3̶)̶

M̶i̶k̶e̶ V̶r̶a̶b̶e̶l̶ -̶ T̶e̶n̶n̶e̶s̶s̶e̶e̶ T̶i̶t̶a̶n̶s̶ (̶2̶0̶̶1̶̶8̶̶)̶ F̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ (̶1̶/9̶/2̶0̶2̶3̶)

R̶o̶n̶ R̶i̶v̶e̶r̶a̶ -̶ W̶a̶s̶h̶i̶n̶g̶t̶o̶n̶ C̶o̶m̶m̶a̶n̶d̶e̶r̶s̶ (̶2̶0̶2̶0̶)̶ -̶ F̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ (̶1̶/8̶/2̶0̶2̶3̶)̶

B̶r̶a̶n̶d̶o̶n̶ S̶t̶a̶l̶e̶y̶ -̶ L̶o̶s̶ A̶n̶g̶e̶l̶e̶s̶ C̶h̶a̶r̶g̶e̶r̶s̶ (̶2̶0̶2̶1̶)̶ -̶ F̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ (̶̶12/1̶5̶/2̶̶0̶̶2̶̶3̶̶)̶̶

A̶r̶t̶h̶u̶r̶ S̶m̶i̶t̶h̶ -̶ A̶t̶l̶a̶n̶t̶a̶ F̶a̶l̶c̶o̶n̶s̶ (̶2̶0̶2̶1̶)̶ -̶ F̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ (̶1̶/8̶/2̶0̶2̶3̶)̶

R̶o̶b̶e̶r̶t̶ ̶S̶a̶l̶e̶h̶ ̶-̶ ̶N̶e̶w̶ ̶Y̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶J̶e̶t̶s̶ ̶(̶2̶0̶2̶1̶)̶ ̶-̶ ̶F̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶(̶1̶0̶/̶7̶/̶2̶0̶2̶4̶)̶

M̶a̶t̶t̶ ̶E̶b̶e̶r̶f̶l̶u̶s̶ ̶-̶ ̶C̶h̶i̶c̶a̶g̶o̶ ̶B̶e̶a̶r̶s̶ ̶(̶2̶0̶2̶2̶)̶ ̶-̶ ̶F̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶(̶1̶1̶/̶2̶9̶/̶2̶0̶2̶4̶)̶

D̶̶̶e̶̶̶n̶̶̶n̶̶̶i̶̶̶s̶̶̶ ̶̶̶A̶̶̶l̶̶̶l̶̶̶e̶̶̶n̶̶̶ ̶̶̶-̶̶̶ ̶̶̶N̶̶̶e̶̶̶w̶̶̶ ̶̶̶O̶̶̶r̶̶̶l̶̶̶e̶̶̶a̶̶̶n̶̶̶s̶̶̶ ̶̶̶S̶̶̶a̶̶̶i̶̶̶n̶̶̶t̶̶̶s̶̶̶ ̶̶̶(̶̶̶2̶̶̶0̶̶̶2̶̶̶2̶̶̶)̶̶̶ ̶-̶ ̶F̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶1̶1̶/̶4̶/̶2̶0̶2̶4̶

F̶r̶a̶n̶k̶ R̶e̶i̶c̶h̶ -̶ C̶a̶r̶o̶l̶i̶n̶a̶ P̶a̶n̶t̶h̶e̶r̶s̶ (̶2̶0̶2̶3̶)̶ -̶ F̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ (̶N̶o̶v̶ 2̶3̶r̶d̶, 2̶0̶2̶3̶)̶

RFK Jr. gets cabinet position or position in any public health department

Flag desecration prohibition passed

Any vaccines banned for any group of people

J6er pardoned

Sports team invited to the white house

A member of Congress is censured or expelled

The democrats take control of the house of representatives

Mass Deportations

A major insider trading scandal linked to the US executive branch

Significant Rogue AI Incident

Trump is impeached

Prohibiting or restricting transgender care for adults

AGI achieved

Coup attempt in the United States

Joe Exotic is released from prison

Drone strike in Mexico by US

350 million people or more die, according to expert estimates

It ends with JD Vance becoming president

US punitive expedition in Mexico

Starlink satellites damaged by US adversary

100k humanoid robots manufactured

A human walks on the Moon

China invades Taiwan

Largest solar flare since Carrington Event

The Senate eliminates the filibuster

Nuclear weapon detonation

Room temperature superconductor discovered

Elon Musk is arrested for treason

Supreme Court packing

Any part of Greenland becomes de facto US territory (excludes military bases)

US military intervention on Canadian territory

22nd amendment repealed or interpreted to only apply to consecutive terms

Eagles three-peat

Tulsi Gabbard is arrested for treason

Donald Trump reelected President

Scores over 23.5 points in Week 1

Wins a preseason game

Saquon Barkley plays at least 12 games

Jalen Hurts scores more rushing TDs than Josh Allen

Jalen Hurts retires with more rushing yards than Josh Allen retires with

The team moves or is renamed before 2050

Drafts at least one QB in the NFL Draft

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Seattle Seahawks (Last Extreme - Super Bowl Winner 2013-2014)

New England Patriots (Last Extreme - Super Bowl Winner 2018-2019)

Philadelphia Eagles (Last Extreme - Super Bowl Winner 2024-2025)

Detroit Lions (Last Extreme - Worst Team 2008-2009)

Kansas City Chiefs (Last Extreme - Super Bowl Winner 2023-2024)

Los Angeles Rams (Last Extreme - Super Bowl Winner 2021-2022)

New York Giants (Last Extreme - Super Bowl Winner 2011-2012)

Denver Broncos (Last Extreme - Super Bowl Winner 2015-2016)

Buffalo Bills (Last Extreme - Worst Team 1986-1987)

Baltimore Ravens (Last Extreme - Super Bowl Winner 2012-2013)

Green Bay Packers (Last Extreme - Super Bowl Winner 2010-2011)

Washington Commanders (Last Extreme - Super Bowl Winner 1991-1992)

Dallas Cowboys (Last Extreme - Super Bowl Winner 1995-1996)

Pittsburgh Steelers (Last Extreme - Super Bowl Winner 2008-2009)

Chicago Bears (Last Extreme - Worst Team 2022-2023)

Minnesota Vikings (Last Extreme - N/A)

Houston Texans (Last Extreme - Worst Team 2013-2014)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Last Extreme - Super Bowl Winner 2020-2021)

Los Angeles Chargers (Last Extreme - Worst Team 2003-2004)

San Francisco 49ers (Last Extreme - Worst Team 2004-2005)

Cincinnati Bengals (Last Extreme - Worst Team 2019-2020)

Jacksonville Jaguars (Last Extreme - Worst Team 2021-2022)

Tennessee Titans (Last Extreme - Worst Team 2024-2025)

Miami Dolphins (Last Extreme - Worst Team 2007-2008)

Indianapolis Colts (Last Extreme - Worst Team 2011-2012)

Atlanta Falcons (Last Extreme - Worst Team 1987-1988)

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Arizona Cardinals (Last Extreme - Worst Team 2018-2019)

Las Vegas Raiders (Last Extreme - Worst Team 2025-2026)

New York Jets (Last Extreme - Worst Team 1995-1996)

New Orleans Saints (Last Extreme - Super Bowl Winner 2009-2010)

Cleveland Browns (Last Extreme - Worst Team 2017-2018)

YES

Los Angeles Rams

Seattle Seahawks

Kansas City Chiefs

Detroit Lions

Baltimore Ravens

Philadelphia Eagles

Buffalo Bills

Cincinnati Bengals

Los Angeles Chargers

Denver Broncos

San Francisco 49ers

Green Bay Packers

New England Patriots

Dallas Cowboys

Houston Texans

Miami Dolphins

New York Jets

Atlanta Falcons

Chicago Bears

Pittsburgh Steelers

Cleveland Browns

Jacksonville Jaguars

Minnesota Vikings

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Arizona Cardinals

Las Vegas Raiders

New Orleans Saints

Indianapolis Colts

Washington Commanders

Tennessee Titans

New York Giants

YES

Columbia

Eagle

Challenger

Space

Lunar

Moon

Armstrong

Discovery

America

Freedom

Enterprise

Endeavour

Voyager

Ranger

Browns 10/1

Saints 10/25

Browns 11/1

Titans (week 17)

Colts 10/11

Bucs 10/18

Texans 12/6

Panthers (week 16)

Falcons 9/13

Bengals 11/15

Eagles 11/22

Jaguars 12/14

Broncos 11/27

Patriots 9/20

Bengals 9/27

Ravens 12/20

Los Angeles Rams

Other

Seattle Seahawks

Denver Broncos

Buffalo Bills

Los Angeles Chargers

San Francisco 49ers

Philadelphia Eagles

Houston Texans